If I am feeling out of control in my reactions.....I just STOP. I do what I need to do to feel comfortable again and approach it again in the new headspace.

I am a particularly impatient person and I find it hard that the head can reach a conclusion quickly but the heart lags behind.

Really - the only thing that helps me is time and space. Nowadays I refuse to approach something that bothers me until I am feeling relaxed in general, am away from the situation...and even then I need to de-brief with friends sometimes.