Those Who Take Complete, Unconditional Responsibility For Their Own Lives.....

[Lulu]

I do and it sometimes sucks - I had a few "is this as good as it gets?" moments in the last few years and it was tied in with finances.

I've moved on from there, when I realised to get some of the shiny things I wanted meant I had to do things I didn't want to do (wear a suit etc) it occured to me that I didn't want them that badly after all!

I worried that I would be living a mediocre life (sooo paranoid) until I realised that each day has the potential to be spectacular and there is nothing mediocre about going to bed each night with a grin on your face

[fionas]

Hmmm ... this is timely. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I will look back on my life and there's a few areas of my life where I know, as things stand right now, I will have regrets.

It's actually got nothing to do with money for me, it's about a) whether I reach my potential career-wise and b) whether I've done anything useful (other than being a mum).

Regarding the career thing, the main thing that holds me back is lack of confidence/shyness so I'm going to see a counsellor about it. I think I've got to make a decision between a) accepting my shortcomings and always being an underachiever on the career front or b) starting down a very, very uncomfortable path and putting myself in situations that I generally do my very best to avoid like public speaking.

So I do agree with the gist of his article but it's a shame it was so focused on the financial side because, for me, reaching my potential is not about financial rewards it's about using my abilities to reach my potential.

[Phteven]

He's writing in the context of entrapreneurship whic is why he's money focussed but I think that even though he's focussed on financial aspects much of what he says can be applied to other areas.

[fionas]

Ahhhhh, that makes sense Bron. I think what he's saying is very true.

[Bathsheba]

Great article Yep, I've read this before and often wonder if I too am thwarting my own potential in reaching my goals. I interpreted the materialism in the article as representing any goal... travel... career... creative goals.

I see some of this in DH... the fear of leaving comfort zones... and so I sometimes often deliberately leave mine in a visible way to him just to "show him". For example, he struggles with public speaking too and so when the minister at church asked me to speak one Sunday I fully embraced it (while quietly crapping myself) but DH came along and when I walked up there to speak I gritted my teeth and I said to myself: "I'll show him!". DH is a bit like you Fiona, his career would FLY if he could manage a bit of public speaking... what's really confusing though is when i met him he was happy enough to get up on stage and sing every weekend anyhow off topic. ETA: though the thing with public speaking is that it really does get easier the more times you do it.

Comfort zones are interesting places. They are the waters that are slowly slowly brought to the boil without the frog even noticing.

this article makes me want to up and move even more!!! Ah! but for ME is moving a comfort zone in itself? (given that I have lost count how many houses I have lived in). Maybe the path to my success is staying put for once!?

[Rouge]

Honestly. I'm in two minds. There are lots of reasons people don't always achieve what they want to and it doesn't always relate back to comfort zones.

I know someone who has the mentality that if you just don't want to do it don't. Don't get upset or emotional, it has no value, it is completely irrational and unintellectual. Just don't do it and do what you want to do instead. Which IMO is bollocks. I am more than happy to step outside my comfort zone and do often. I am probably not in a good place to answer this question without my own "emotional filters" due to the fact he reads like this someone I know talks and this someone has an amazing amount of emotional growth to do if they are ever going to get anywhere in life. Not everything is an equation, and not always does it take the same method to get the same end result. We are not robots or machines. And the whole overuse of the word victim, don't get me started on that.

Too many things are intellectualised these days. And sometimes simple is better, and not just that but sometimes over intellectuallising just makes you seem dumb or your argument seem repugnant.

Not to mention the fact that a lot of people who do go far in this world are lucky enough to have come across their talents, and if you ask most they will tell you it was by pure chance. And there has to be an interest. And given the amount of abilities and opportunities in the world some people can unfortunately take to 50 before they figure out what it is they are meant to be doing and therefore enjoy, are passionate about and succeed well at.

And if everyone was successful would anyone be? And why does success need to be judged by your wealth, career choice or stature? To me success is more valued by how you keep your relationships, the morals you keep, if you can live a happy life and be a good person. Money is nice but its not everything. And a lot of the baggage that one needs to work through in order to be successful in my mind isn't something you just do or don't. It's never that easy.

So IMO I think this person is simplifying something by intellectualising it, which is in turn denying many different factors that contribute to success. And do or do not is not it. All that does is make people feel crap when they happen to be a little bit more complex than that.

Yes I have my "emotional filters" on... but you did ask

Yep the more I think about it, I would say his perspective lacks any emotion or growth. And emotional growth isn't being above all emotions.

And guess what else... I feel VERY successful (but I also think we shouldn't allow ourselves to think we are completely successful or we lose sight of personal growth and lose ourself in our own perceived perfection... what an icky place that would be!)

[Lulu]

To extend - what this dude says is absolutely true. Especially in his context.

There are so many people that want something but are so totally unwilling to do anything about it. They just want the end result. I was really successful in my home business and others wanted a go too but at the end of the day they were just NOT willing to do what was required. And then decide it's some other reason why they weren't successful.
I could write a step by step guide to what to do for a certain situation and even then something else would always get in the way or there would be some excuse.

What annoyed my most was being told "oh you are so luuucky". Pigs bum I was - it was because I was fricken relentless in my pursuit of my goals.
I still see it now, I have people asking me all the time about how do this or that in business - and they don't seem to like the answers, or are surprised it requires so much work.

You can have the worlds best vision board but staring at it all day gets you nowhere, it should serve as a reminder to keep on trucking towards your goal, not trying to materialise something out of nothing.

At this point I've reassessed things because I know what's required and can't give that right now. I may as well enjoy my time at home with the kids cos it ain't gonna happen again, but when they don't need me so much I'll be able to give the time I need to my pursuits.
I'm not willing to return to f/t work - but that's no ones fault, it's my choice.

That's whats in my top sig - If I cannot find a way, I will make one.