Those Who Take Complete, Unconditional Responsibility For Their Own Lives.....

[Rouge]

Absolutely. And in my life thats true too. But I still think that its not as simple as just do it. Not for everyone. I've worked pretty hard to get where I am and it wasn't just "luck" for me either. I do think I had some breaks along the way, but I also wasn't sitting around whinging thinking woe is me. I think the woe is me mentality is a definite blockage, as is doing absolutely nothing about your situation. But I don't think just because you want to be the CEO of a multimillion dollar company (I wouldn't but some people see that as success) doesn't mean you will be, same for if you wanted to be an opera singer but couldn't hold a note.

As I said I am in two minds, but I think a blanket policy never works for anything. And I agree with him about the visualization board. You can ask for the opportunity but if you have no desire to change your situation there is no way you will succeed at anything. But wanting something and doing something isn't ALWAYS going to get you what you want.

[Phteven]

I think that we make our own luck. I read an amazing article in New Scientist a few years ago about lucky and unlucky people. They got people who considered themselves lucky and people who considered themselves unlucky. Then they presented them all with a bunch of hypothetical scenarios and asked what they would do. The people who considered themselves lucky found ways to exploit oppurtunities and saw the scenarios as positive. The people who considered themselves unlucky viewed the scenarios in a more negative light and failed to notice ways that they could benefit from them.

I think that the point he makes about taking control of your reactions is very relevant - you may have no control over your inability to hold a note but you can choose to accept that, enjoy singing in the local choir and get on with finding another career that makes you happy or you can spend the rest of your life struggling to make it as an opera singer and bemoaning your bad luck.

[Toomanytoomany]

I think this attitude to making money is too often extrapolated to more general areas of life when in reality, sometimes s**t happens and there's not much you can do about it, no matter how many times you try to make lemonade, kwim? Sometimes the universe doles out dreadful things in sequence.

The unfortunate corollary to this kind of thinking can also sometimes be that it is interpreted that if you are struggling, it's all your own fault. And, well, no.

[Smoke Jaguar]

A related idea that I got when doing a time-management course (was offered by CFA, accidentally to vols when it was supposed to be for admin staff, he he!) and it's this:

Is what I'm doing right now moving me towards my goal?

I guess that's a simpler way of putting that article, in some senses.
I did another course through the CFA a while ago that also helped mobilise me to do more things that were 'true to myself', though the mere fact that I'd applied for the opportunity after getting my arse joined up to the fire brigade already was a manifestation of my 'I happen to life' attitude that I adopted in my mid-20's!
There's always something that comes up that sheds light on something else that I had accepted without question before or that I hadn't realised was a comfort zone. I have so few comfort zones left that the ones I know about act as my refuge when things get a bit too much. I've been so busy this pregnancy, for various reasons, that on Mon and Tue this week I consciously slept in and told myself to do nothing. I've got 3 weeks to go, give or take...by Wed I had itchy feet again, so my challenge is to accept quietness and let it wash over me!
So, yeah, I wouldn't ever hold myself up as any kind of epitome of success for anyone else (been studying for umpteen years and not a single useful qualification out of it!), and I CAN say that I have lived the last 10 years according to what I value and I don't feel like I've failed myself, or been cheated out of anything. Even my mistakes are my own and no-one's getting credit for those, cos it would mean where I am now is someone else's fault. And I know it's not.
Not sure what kind of tangent I went on there - stream of consciousness that the OP triggered!

ETA: Toomany - I guess the way I've learned and been taught to counter the 's..t happens' part of life is to realise what things are in your control and what isn't in your control. No point getting worked up (to either polarity) about things that you cannot control. There is so much that you CAN control though, even your reactions to the things you can't

[Jennifer13]

I tend to agree with the principle, but there is one glaring problem with it. It doesn't take into account the external circumstances that may be extremely limiting on a person's life.

I remember saying something along these lines to someone many moons ago when I was at uni, how it is up to us how we view and accept our circumstances, regardless of what they are and how we got there. He said, "That's great for you or me as a white person with a middle class background and an education, but what about the woman in rural China who suddenly finds herself pregnant with a second child?"

So while I would encourage everyone (including myself, and I have) to look at their circumstances and make the best of the opportunities that are available to them in society (and in ours, there are many), it isn't, unfortunately, always that simple.

[Lulu]

You can still make the best life you can, no matter the circumstances. Or you could wither away with anger, reproach and sadness.

[Jennifer13]

Yeah, but it wouldn't be such a great life with so limited opportunities. And the idea that someone should just make the best of their life when we as a society need to be morally responsible for lifting standards (particularly those related to human rights) across the board is just as important as looking out for ourselves. JMHO

[Phteven]

in reality, sometimes s**t happens and there's not much you can do about it, no matter how many times you try to make lemonade, kwim? Sometimes the universe doles out dreadful things in sequence.

The unfortunate corollary to this kind of thinking can also sometimes be that it is interpreted that if you are struggling, it's all your own fault. And, well, no.

I get what you mean, there's no doubt that awful things can happen to us that are beyond our control but your post made me think of 2 women I'm acquainted with. Both of them lost their sons about 10 years ago. I'm sure that we'd both agree that life can't hand you a much bitterer lemon than that. One of these women resolved to be grateful for the time she had with her son and to live her life in a way that would make him proud - she founded a charity called Mahboba's Promise that does amazing work with women and children in Afghanistan. The other woman still hasn't moved on, she has convinced herself that the reason the police have never made an arrest in her son's case is because they are unwilling to and lives every day with the bitterness associated with those thoughts.
One woman has mired herself in victimhood and despite all the aspects of her life that should giver her joy she is miserable. The other one rejected victimhood and is happy and has achieved something wonderful.