I think that you ask this question shows just what sort of person you are...

I think this way (which is neither right or wrong):

I know that I have & do feel like you sometimes & when I am feeling like that (for me) I know I am using my value judgement. As someone else said we all use judgement - we are actually made this way - it's survival. Judgement alone isn't the issue. The issue is what we do with that judgement. You may meet me on a day when I have had a great sleep, life feels good and I give off a great Energy - you've judged me that I am neat, gentle, fair and happy... You meet me when I've just found out my best friend has cancer & I am sad, depressed, dishevelled & your judgement is different.

If you approach me both times with fairness, respect and kindness you have operated out of your own sense of virtue/values and ethics. If you react rudely assuming I am not interested in you etc etc you have acted out of an egoic need to base your treatment of others on how they treat you... To me that's how I would offer some of the biggest wars and the smallest fights have begun...

So, you are right I think. Some people for whatever their story don't get it. You can excuse the behavior & there is always a reason for the behavior. But what I think is needed is a boundary.

This is how it works here: a, b, c. How you implement that is always with respect and compassion. Compassion isn't about always being soft and gentle and allowing people to behave in ways that we cannot accept.

I also worked with unemployed teenagers & young adults (I taught assertiveness training, personal growth to unemployed youth). I also lectured nursing students of varying ages.

I understand a little of what you say about the varying needs of the class. Some of the teens really wanted to fly - others were there as they had to be. I had to fight my desire to have them all over for a good meal and a hug. But I also got to the point (through pain!) of saying: Dudes this is how it is: "I love you all - you are all special to me, but I have a job to do and that means there are rules. Just like in life. There are consequences to actions. We set up a class constitution and we worked from that. For me that helped.

For me personally as an adult it showed me that compassion is not always about being nice. Sometimes it's about being really hard nosed - but always coming from a heartspace of wanting the best for the other. I am a bit tired tonight so I will reread this tomorrow and hope I've made sense.

*Please remember this is only my personal view and experience. That doesn't mean I believe others are wrong or incorrect.*