BTW I'm currently doing this emotional house keeping for another at an arms distance for someone close to me. I'm refusing to do the hand-holding soothing "hey it's ok, caaaalm down everything will be ok" thing. For me that hasn't worked. I'm now pointing out that this person is emotionally mature enough to be aware that their reaction to things is out of kilter. I tell them that i love them but I neutrally remind them that their choice of emotion (I believe you can often choose) is out of kilter with the situation. At the moment we are at an impasse... but they are coming around slowly i think. The crutch has to be put aside eventually.