Hi my name is katrina, i'll be turning 21 in a few weeks. I have had pcos since i was young, about 14 we think it started. Although i wasnt diagnosed for years! I only found out in feb this year, its still pretty new and im finding it a bit hard to cope with. I also have endimetriosis.
It took me years and years to find out why i was only getting a period twice a year, doctors kept saying "its normal.. it'll regulate eventually.. " and then when i got to 17 and 18, i got "its normal for you". About december 20 of 2006, i found ANOTHER doctor, and i demanded she do something because i knew that something wasnt "right". She did tests, and when i got a call saying id need to come in and speak to the doctor, my doctor had gone on holidays, and i had to see a replacement doctor. That doctor was extremely rude, and she spoke very bad english, i didnt understand a thing she said and because i kept saying "excuse me" she ended up telling me that i couldnt have kids, that ivf might help later on in life, and kicked me out of the room.
I attended these appointments on my own, because my family and friends didnt believe that anything was wrong with me, so i didnt have any support and i didnt know what was going on.. so i ended up pretty depressed, and reckless.. i had a new boyfriend, and because i knew i couldnt get pregnant, didnt take any precautions after then, and i also lost a lot of weight, from stress i think..

So in august 07, i was moody at work, throwing up all the time, eating and gaining weight, my belly was tight, and i was having really strange cravings. My entire life until then, i hated red meat, but all of a sudden i was craving steak with cream cheese. I also had a thing about tomatoes.. tomatoes in everything.
My work mate Molly, who was studying midwifery at the time, kept telling me i was "glowing" and that i was pregnant. I told her that i wasnt.. absolutely certain that i wasnt.. and she kept at me for about a month.. and one day after work, i threw up twice before i left, and she said go and get a pregnancy test.. and so on august 3, i bought a pregnancy test, and i was a bit down about it, i got home and threw it on my bed, and didnt wanna do it, i didnt want to have to face it again...
Later that night, i did the test, and i left it on the counter in the bathroom, because it said 10-15 mins.. so i left and i avoided it.. i went back in about an hour later, and i picked it up and went to throw it out, before i realilsed that 2 blue lines means you're pregnant.. and then i was crying but not really a happy cry because i was only 19 and i hadnt expected it.. i think the last 8 months had been so tough, thinking id never have kids.. and id wanted to be a mum since i was in kindergarten.. so i was in shock..

So i went to the doctor, had it confirmed, and then had to wait 4 weeks for an ultrasound appointment. My gp did a physical exam a week before i had my ultrasound, because i had no dates to go off, and she said i felt about 10 weeks pregnant.. when i went to the ultrasound, i was told i was 17 weeks pregnant!! It was a shock, i almost fell off the bed.. I had my boyfriend and his mum there with me, and they were both shocked.

I had a really hard pregnancy, id thought all of the pain id been having in my tummy was normal, as id always had that.. turns out i was in for a tough pregnancy. I ended up having to make a choice at 20 weeks, if i continued working (a very physically demanding job) i had a very very high risk of going into premature labour.. and at 20 weeks the baby wouldnt survive..so i think that was the easiest decision i ever made, but eventually by 6 months, i was bed bound pretty much, i had bleeding, and kept fainting, and even just doing dishes brought on the labour pains.. ended up in hospital overnight a few time too. So it was a very boring few months.. but the most important of my life.
After all of that, i have a beautiful little girl, Tilly Louise. She was born on January 29 2008.

After i had tilly, i developed endimetriosis, and its really hard to cope with.. physically and emotionally.
In august 08, i suddenly gained a lot of weight, tiredness, had pains, random vomiting too, and couldnt stomach food. My doctor kept saying i was depressed, but i was certain i wasnt, and kept going back to her. In feb this year, i went to her with a clip from a magazine, about ovarian cancer. I had all the symptoms except constipation, and i have a strong family history of it, so it was only then that she said she'd do normal tests to rule it out.. and thats how i found out about the endimetriosis and pcos.
I get pains most days, most days its there, but i can cope with the period like pains.. its when it becomes severe and i get shooting pains, and pain in the top of my legs.. thats when im finding it hard to cope. I also find it really hard to cope with bathing tilly. Everytime i bend over the bath, the pain gets so bad.. i almost always end up lying in bed or on the couch.. its depressing when i have to get others to bath tilly. I am lucky though, i live with my parents, and so my mum baths tilly everynight, while i do dishes after dinner. It sucks, id rather be playing with tilly in the bath than standing there doing dishes.. Showering tilly is ok, which is something.. but shes 17 months old, and the bath is the ultimate play time for her.. she loves her baths.

I am lucky to have my family, especially mum and sarah.. but its hard because they get frustrated with me, and dont really understand. they are waiting for me to get better, and every few weeks we go through a week or so of them being really moody toward me, which i can understand, because it must be frustrating and hard for them to see me so unlike myself.. im always tired.. i have trouble sleeping with the pains, and i try to have a nap every afternoon with tilly, it gets me through til bedtime.
And my dad, he always has comments and opinions about it. Like the pain is for attention, and i want an excuse to be lazy (because of the naps i have), and he always says "doing a katrina" or "just like katrina" when he talks about someone whos lying. Its really hard to deal with, and even though my doctor diagnosed it, he still insists im lying about having it. I try to talk to him about it, but he doesnt want to listen to "lies", and ive asked mum to try, but he says shes "babying" me.. its really hard.

I also have days where i just dont get anything done.. the house will be tidy, but i wont get washing done, or the carpets need vacuuming and i just cant.. and they dont really get it. I try really hard, i dont think im lazy, im always pushing myself to get stuff done, sometimes i just fail.. and i dont know anyone else who has this, and most people have never heard of it.

My doctor has prescribed the pill and im living on panadol, and also an insulan suppresant i believe it is. but its a long wait to see a gynacologyst. I wouldnt be surprised to have to wait another 6 months. but in the meantime its just day to day, i always seem to be struggling with it..

The reason im really here is to hear from other people, how they cope with the pains of endimetriosis, and how to cope with the emotional side of it.. i find it really hard.