Painful intercourse and Endometriosis

[dreamer]

Hi Guys,

I have met a wonderful girl recently who told me that she has endometriosis. During our first sexual encounter I could sense that she was almost scared rather than looking forward to it. This is the first time where I have not been happy with the size of my endowment.

How can I make sure I don't cause her pain or at least reduce it to a level where she enjoys herself? Its very hard from my perspective because she is so attractive. I can't avoid intercourse with her altogether, although from her face she would not mind that, but there must be ways I can give her pleasure without causing too much pain.

Any assistance and suggestions is appreciated.

[Aimz]

Has she been to the doctors and if so, is she on any treatment plans for the endo?

I know how she feels, having suffered from endo and painful sex. Ask her to describe the pain to you. In my case it was "deep" pain that was caused by my endometriosis so shallow intercourse was usually ok. My gyno sent me for a laparoscopy and he removed 99% of my endo. Since my operation I haven't had any "deep" pain.

I also suffer from vestibulitis which causes "entry" pain.

Ask her about the pain, and which areas are hurting her and try to work around it. Be kind and gentle with her and listen for the signs of pain. Be patient and supportive - it really does hurt A LOT! If all else fails - foreplay can be heaps of fun - just get creative!!

Another suggestion, do everything you can to relax her before sex. A massage and light foreplay. In my experience, when I know pain is coming I tense up which makes things much, much worse.

[Nelle]

Lol, I was just coming in to see if Amy had been in.

Wishing you and this lovely girl all the best Dreamer.

[Aimz]

LOL Nelle - who would have thunk - 6 months ago I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me!! Now I feel like an expert on the topic!

Dreamer - if you have any questions I am happy to answer. There are many other girls on BB who can help as well so you know where to come.

[dreamer]

LOL Nelle - who would have thunk - 6 months ago I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me!! Now I feel like an expert on the topic!

Dreamer - if you have any questions I am happy to answer. There are many other girls on BB who can help as well so you know where to come.

Thanks for the help amysarah , I really appreciate it.

She has been to the doctor and has been aware of condition for some ten years. I think she must feel pain from teh very beginning since she seems a little agitated even though she persist that we make love. I didnt know much about endometriosis and so I had no idea what she has been putting herself though just to please me. I have to admit it has made me love her even more, but it seems that there is ways that we can enjoy ourselves and not cause her pain. Would it help to use a lubricant with anaesthetic? There is no problem with that I hope? She seems to feel a deep pain as she describes it to me. She has some sharp pains in the beginning also which I think was caused with my impatience.

I think the first thing is to be very gentle from my perspective and then I will be able to evaluate her response.

Thanks again guys, much appreciated and its wonderful that a site exists to help with such an important issue, especially us guys who have no clue what it might feel like.

[Aimz]

When it comes to entry pain it's hard to avoid it completely - but there are things that you can do to make it less painful.

Lots of relaxation and then foreplay to create natural lubricant is a great start. Personally, I use an oil based lubricant which I find to be much better than water based - this type of lubricant isn't suitable for use with condoms though so be aware of that. The worst thing she can do is be tense - so reassure her that you are going to be gentle. The best type of lubricant is the one she makes herself - so take lots of time with her

The worst part for me is usually the "getting it in" part. Once it's in it is usually bareable. Just don't expect too much from her - my DH knows that sex doesn't give me too much pleasure because it's hard to take my mind off the pain. He knows I only really do the sex part for him. The foreplay is for me. If you can both openly express how you feel you can work around the pain and still have a great sex life.

[dreamer]

When it comes to entry pain it's hard to avoid it completely - but there are things that you can do to make it less painful.

Lots of relaxation and then foreplay to create natural lubricant is a great start. Personally, I use an oil based lubricant which I find to be much better than water based - this type of lubricant isn't suitable for use with condoms though so be aware of that. The worst thing she can do is be tense - so reassure her that you are going to be gentle. The best type of lubricant is the one she makes herself - so take lots of time with her

The worst part for me is usually the "getting it in" part. Once it's in it is usually bareable. Just don't expect too much from her - my DH knows that sex doesn't give me too much pleasure because it's hard to take my mind off the pain. He knows I only really do the sex part for him. The foreplay is for me. If you can both openly express how you feel you can work around the pain and still have a great sex life.

Thank you for your help.

I would say that the 'getting it in' part as you say lol is the most difficult with my gf too. It seems to work well when I hold her at night and in the early hours start a little foreplay, she seems to be very relaxed an enoy it then, perhaps she doesnt think of the pain. And during those hours she does get aroused a great deal more and we have enjoyed some great lovemaking.

I hope other gils in similar situations are open with their partners because we are not as insensitive as we lead you guys to believe. I think most will try very hard to make sure the pain is taken out of the equation.

I would tell you a technique you can use on your partner that will drive him a little crazy and wont know what him but I don't know if that is appropriate here, so I will refrain unless anyone wants me to private them. It doesnt involve intercourse but he will be more than satisfied and you will get a kick out of what you can do to him.

Thank again guys.