McDonalds Birthday parties – Ergh... never again. WDYT, WWYD?

[Catherine]

Are you kidding? I would not have even gone to this party!

Be true to yourself, just no. YOu don't have to justify yourself or even give an excuse. Just Say NO!

That sounds like an absolutly awful experience. *shudders*

LOts of hugs and outdoor play seems the order of the day!

We were invited to a birthday at hungry jacks when DD was 2 - I think I said "sorry, but we won't be able to make it"....I said no, because, like you, the thought of it appalled me.

I reckon you'd be doing more harm taking your son to such parties...and if the hypothetical people are offended by you turning down the invite to theit unimaginative party...welll...who cares!

(sorry, it is getting late, and I may be a bit over tired...but I am so with you on this issue...avoid it like the plague)

[Fleur]

Be true to yourself, just no. YOu don't have to justify yourself or even give an excuse. Just Say NO!

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't mind knowing why, either... if you just said no, or that you don't 'do' them it might leave me wondering what the problem is (asusming that if theoretical 'I' am holding the party, I don't have a problem with it)
I wouldn't think you have to go into great detail, just a basic ... '_' .... erm, I don't know what.. just so they know it's not personal?

[Phteven]

I wouldn't be offended if you turned down an invitation to a party because you didn't like the theme or location.
I've never been to a McD/HJ's party but it sounds scary

[Gigi]

i feel strongly about fast food parties too, but as bilby is about to start school soon, i wonder if i will get put in the position of having to do the same, decide to let her go or not. And if i will fold, under the pressure of
- her excitement to go to a "birthday party" (she would have little idea of a fast food party - they don't sound very child friendly to me)
- the peer pressure of "everyone else is going except me" type comments.

Once i took my step daughter to a fast food party. EVERY child in the class was invited (29). Too many kids really, it was just a noisy rabble. No-one really enjoyed themselves. I think it was very overwhelming for the birthday child too. It was at a posh school, i remember being surprised that affluent people would choose a fast food party, but i can see the "no mess, no hassle" aspect - home is not trashed. But parents still brought quite a bit of stuff for the party, even though it was supposedly fully catered for by the fast food place. It was a relief to leave the party.

my dd's birthday usually falls in heatwave weather, and every year i go thru the mindgames of "how do i transport the food and keep it cool, in a park/playground?" cos i don't have a suitable home to host a party in either, so i do get the "location" aspect. I deal with the numbers of children, by iniviting the number of children, the age that bilby is turning. So if she is four, i invite four little friends. No structure except for "cake time". Last year, i provided music, encourage invitees to dress up, and they all danced around in fairy outfits - had a blast being giggly, whirling, kids.

i think as children get older, it would be harder to turn down an invite, without serious upset from the child. I'm trying to teach bilby to look after the environment, not be wasteful etc, but i'm not sure my environmental reasonings, would calm her down, in the same situation as you describe ECAPRIS. I'm sure i would try, but i'm not game to predict what the actual outcome would be, UNTIL bilby is actually in school, and we come up against this situation.

From your description, i would want to supervise and watch like a hawk too. One bad experience, would prolly be "enough ammunition" for me to say to bilby ' remember how awful the last fast food party was?

things like this, that were clear cut for me PRE CHILD, are suddenly blurring into "shades of gray", now i am a parent. Makes me feel wishy washy, but it's really how i feel. Unsure basically. I'm bringing up a single child, already feeling very guilty for my low rates of socialising - which then in turn mean low socialising for bilby.

Once she's at school, maybe it will all become clearer. I can't just hope that the situation won't come up, cos i'm sure it will. (and the electronic hand held games, and the kids with access to all the stuff i have kept from her so far e.g computers. all day kids cable channels). i feel so out of my depth.

Rach, i feel so strongly about McHappy Meals, Fun Meals etc (all that unethical marketing to children, the linking of toys to their brand), that even with our food issues (her not eating), even when i was so desperate, i bought her junk food at HJ, i bought her food individually, so she did not get the brightly coloured kids box with plastic toy inside. She didn't eat anything but the french fries. she loves cheese, so i thought she might try the cheeseburger - but no.

I do have a friend, who bought Macca's, started eating it to find a roach inside the burger - so i just can't bring myself to go there, plus they don't have salad in the burgers.

[Party-of-five]

DS had a few Hungry jacks birthday parties, its what he asked for at the time all his friends were having them there.
I wouldn't have been offended if ppl didn't come because of where it was.

[Glamourcide]

Okay, I'll admit - when I saw the title of this thread I thought I knew how it was going to go. So I apologise for pre-judging!
I went to a few Macca's birthday parties as a kid. They were pretty sad affairs, but the one you describe sound really terrible - your poor DS! Upon thinking back to my own experiences, yes, they were pretty bad - I remember my parents throwing a Macca's party for my brother when he was little (before McDonald's restaurants introduced those conference/party rooms separate from the rest of the restaurant) and we were crammed down the back near the toilets, taking up about 8 tables, then for the games of duck-duck-goose, the teen 'host' took us across the drive-thru to a tiny patch of grass in the carpark (YES, you read right!) as there simply was nowhere else to sit. Back in those days, we also got the 'tour' of McDonald's and took turns sitting in the freezer amongst boxes of burger patties et al - I imagine those days are thing of the past lol, we got to walk right past the chip fryers and see staff squirting ketchup onto buns - good times! (*cough* sarcasm lol...)

But yeah. They didn't do me a great deal of harm as a child, but I'd probably be inclined to decline an invite to one if my kids were invited to them. I can appreciate that parents can't find suitable locations to throw a party for their child (I'm spoiled for choice here, a massive fenced yard in suburbia and plenty of nearby public places like the marina, botanic gardens etc that are easily accessible), and/or may not want to bother with all the mess and hassle that comes with organising a birthday party... I'm not strongly opposed to the ethical practices or the quality of food at fast food joint parties but as others have said, they just don't seem to be the most enjoyable parties for kids or parents, and that's not even taking into account the crud food, the environmental/ethical concerns regarding excessive waste/packaging/plastic junk toys and all the rest.

Like I said, I'm lucky to have the circumstances that allow me to have parties at home (the kids are so small right now that it's usually strictly family, maybe a couple of friends with their kids but yeah, not like the whole daycare class is invited or anything... yet!), so I can't say whether I would be offended or not if a parent declined an invite should I ever throw a McD's or HJ's party. To be honest, I probably *would* be offended for a minute, and assume that the parent in question is just one of those snotty so-and-so's who thinks they're better than all the other parents for being 'above' junk food, junk toys and 'lazy' parenting, but I'd get over it pretty quickly and think of all the reasons that have been discussed here so far and decide it's not something I should take personally.

Umm... well that was long-winded lol! Long story short - no, I wouldn't be offended if I invited your child to a fast-food birthday party and you declined. I can understand why. I would probably *want* to decline an invite for my child to attend such a party, but I'd probably give in and take them so that they don't get upset about 'everyone else is going'... but I can't say for sure whether that would happen anyway, the situation hasn't arisen yet and my girls are too small to even know there's a party on unless they attend lol
It's a tricky one, for sure, but you have to do what works for you and your family. If that means running the risk of offending someone, then I guess that's life! A reasonable person (I would hope) would have a think and come to the same conclusions we have, and get over any 'insult', and if they don't, then that's their loss

[Epacris]

Thank you so much for all your kind and considered replies.

I don't think it is fair to punish the child who is having the party by not allowing the invited guests to go. More often than not, the kids don't get a say. If they want a party, the parents say it is here, or none at all.

I think this addresses what (I now know) I was getting at. I feel really bad for the kid having the birthday. What to do?

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't mind knowing why, either... if you just said no, or that you don't 'do' them it might leave me wondering what the problem is (asusming that if theoretical 'I' am holding the party, I don't have a problem with it)
I wouldn't think you have to go into great detail, just a basic ... '_' .... erm, I don't know what.. just so they know it's not personal?

I guess I also wanted to “put it out there” that there are parents that have really strongly held views about this. Sure it’s not like it’s a religion or anything but this is fundamental to how we as a family live our lives. So, I should explain a bit more?

I guess I’ll only be able to veto for a few more years anyway. Soon DS will be old enough to know what’s going on and then I’ll let him decide for himself if he wants to go.

I can't say whether I would be offended or not if a parent declined an invite should I ever throw a McD's or HJ's party. To be honest, I probably *would* be offended for a minute, and assume that the parent in question is just one of those snotty so-and-so's who thinks they're better than all the other parents for being 'above' junk food, junk toys and 'lazy' parenting

Bwahahahaha.... you’ve summed me up to a tee! (no seriously I’m not quite that self-righteous, especially when it comes to using the TV as a babysitter ).

And just on the, “well we went to them and it never did us any harm”. Hmmm..... I dunno about that one either. It might not have done you personally as an individual any harm but just look at the obesity epidemic in this country, and not to mention complete lack of awareness about what is in food, where it comes from, how it’s produced and all the vested interests there are in getting it to our mouths. I think this sort of thing is all part of the immeasurable damage being done to us as a society... and I rage against it.

Anyway, thanks so much again for letting me chew ( ) this over with you all. I very much appreciate it.

[Trillian]

It sure is a tough one isn't it? And you're right, it does make it hard for the birthday child because they don't understand.

[Glamourcide]

Bwahahahaha.... you’ve summed me up to a tee! (no seriously I’m not quite that self-righteous, especially when it comes to using the TV as a babysitter ).

And just on the, “well we went to them and it never did us any harm”. Hmmm..... I dunno about that one either. It might not have done you personally as an individual any harm but just look at the obesity epidemic in this country, and not to mention complete lack of awareness about what is in food, where it comes from, how it’s produced and all the vested interests there are in getting it to our mouths. I think this sort of thing is all part of the immeasurable damage being done to us as a society... and I rage against it.

Lol definitely no offense intended!! I know we all have very different ideas on all these topics, I certainly don't judge someone who *is* passionate about these things, but I might *feel* judged by them if this situation were to arise, itms? Either way, I'd get over it lol
And I do agree with you on the 'never did me harm' argument, and I feel you are right to an extent regarding the wider implications of the fast food industry... but at the end of the day, I believe so strongly in personal accountability (for example, I know exactly what's in a Quarter Pounder and where it comes from... and I still choose to eat it on the odd occasion!) and think that moderation is key... but that's just my personal stance after doing my own research, whereas you have done the same research and come to a different conclusion, and we each conduct ourselves accordingly
(FWIW, my kids eat chicken McNuggets every so often but I'm still struggling to wrap my head around my friend informing me that Crunchy Nut Cornflakes is a healthy breakfast option for her toddlers...)

[MantaRay]

My boys were invited to one once - it was a neighbour with two sons the same age as our boys that's why it was both of them. That year DS1 didn't get any party invitations from day care, I'm not sure DS2 did either so I thought it would be nice for them to go because it was a party and they were invited ITMS? It was definitely not party of the year and DS1 didn't even really eat anything (nothing stops DS2 from eating ) but they had a good time playing with the other kids. Having said that they have never asked to go back and I'm sure would not be upset if they weren't allowed to go again. And I wouldn't be embarrassed to say "we don't do McDonalds" nor would I be offended if someone said it to me.

BTW, DS2 did the same thing at McDonalds - he asked where we were even though we drove past it nearly every day and when I said McDonalds he said "Old McDonald's Farm, where are the animals?" much to the amusement of the family parked next to us.

[Cherished]

Do I dare even post in this thread after the junk food thread recently The party sounds horrible! Thankfully dh and I have an agreement that we can leave 'any' social event if either of us are uncomfortable for any reason. In the past it's been for reasons like cigarette smoke, too crowded, or in this case if it were pure chaos! Granted I haven't tried to pull my child away from a birthday party but I think in this situation I'd try to get out of their as soon as possible or just not go in the 1st place. I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't want to come to our house for a birthday part and have their kids be served healthy vegetarian food so I don't expect that another mum or dad would be offended if I didn't take my child to McDonalds to eat crap food and be marketed to and to contribute to the horrible culture or waste etc that McDonalds stands for. If you don't want to tell the parents your reasons for not going then don't, you can just tell them that you have something else on. You're kids will have plenty of other parties to go to in the future, I don't think they'll be missing out on anything