McDonalds Birthday parties – Ergh... never again. WDYT, WWYD?

[Epacris]

Thank you so much for all your kind and considered replies.

I don't think it is fair to punish the child who is having the party by not allowing the invited guests to go. More often than not, the kids don't get a say. If they want a party, the parents say it is here, or none at all.

I think this addresses what (I now know) I was getting at. I feel really bad for the kid having the birthday. What to do?

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't mind knowing why, either... if you just said no, or that you don't 'do' them it might leave me wondering what the problem is (asusming that if theoretical 'I' am holding the party, I don't have a problem with it)
I wouldn't think you have to go into great detail, just a basic ... '_' .... erm, I don't know what.. just so they know it's not personal?

I guess I also wanted to “put it out there” that there are parents that have really strongly held views about this. Sure it’s not like it’s a religion or anything but this is fundamental to how we as a family live our lives. So, I should explain a bit more?

I guess I’ll only be able to veto for a few more years anyway. Soon DS will be old enough to know what’s going on and then I’ll let him decide for himself if he wants to go.

I can't say whether I would be offended or not if a parent declined an invite should I ever throw a McD's or HJ's party. To be honest, I probably *would* be offended for a minute, and assume that the parent in question is just one of those snotty so-and-so's who thinks they're better than all the other parents for being 'above' junk food, junk toys and 'lazy' parenting

Bwahahahaha.... you’ve summed me up to a tee! (no seriously I’m not quite that self-righteous, especially when it comes to using the TV as a babysitter ).

And just on the, “well we went to them and it never did us any harm”. Hmmm..... I dunno about that one either. It might not have done you personally as an individual any harm but just look at the obesity epidemic in this country, and not to mention complete lack of awareness about what is in food, where it comes from, how it’s produced and all the vested interests there are in getting it to our mouths. I think this sort of thing is all part of the immeasurable damage being done to us as a society... and I rage against it.

Anyway, thanks so much again for letting me chew ( ) this over with you all. I very much appreciate it.

[Trillian]

It sure is a tough one isn't it? And you're right, it does make it hard for the birthday child because they don't understand.

[*Twinkle*]

Each to their own I say. I wouldn't be offended if someone turned down an invite because of their own food values.

[MantaRay]

My boys were invited to one once - it was a neighbour with two sons the same age as our boys that's why it was both of them. That year DS1 didn't get any party invitations from day care, I'm not sure DS2 did either so I thought it would be nice for them to go because it was a party and they were invited ITMS? It was definitely not party of the year and DS1 didn't even really eat anything (nothing stops DS2 from eating ) but they had a good time playing with the other kids. Having said that they have never asked to go back and I'm sure would not be upset if they weren't allowed to go again. And I wouldn't be embarrassed to say "we don't do McDonalds" nor would I be offended if someone said it to me.

BTW, DS2 did the same thing at McDonalds - he asked where we were even though we drove past it nearly every day and when I said McDonalds he said "Old McDonald's Farm, where are the animals?" much to the amusement of the family parked next to us.

[Glamourcide]

Bwahahahaha.... you’ve summed me up to a tee! (no seriously I’m not quite that self-righteous, especially when it comes to using the TV as a babysitter ).

And just on the, “well we went to them and it never did us any harm”. Hmmm..... I dunno about that one either. It might not have done you personally as an individual any harm but just look at the obesity epidemic in this country, and not to mention complete lack of awareness about what is in food, where it comes from, how it’s produced and all the vested interests there are in getting it to our mouths. I think this sort of thing is all part of the immeasurable damage being done to us as a society... and I rage against it.

Lol definitely no offense intended!! I know we all have very different ideas on all these topics, I certainly don't judge someone who *is* passionate about these things, but I might *feel* judged by them if this situation were to arise, itms? Either way, I'd get over it lol
And I do agree with you on the 'never did me harm' argument, and I feel you are right to an extent regarding the wider implications of the fast food industry... but at the end of the day, I believe so strongly in personal accountability (for example, I know exactly what's in a Quarter Pounder and where it comes from... and I still choose to eat it on the odd occasion!) and think that moderation is key... but that's just my personal stance after doing my own research, whereas you have done the same research and come to a different conclusion, and we each conduct ourselves accordingly
(FWIW, my kids eat chicken McNuggets every so often but I'm still struggling to wrap my head around my friend informing me that Crunchy Nut Cornflakes is a healthy breakfast option for her toddlers...)

[NaeNae]

We are not at that stage yet so I cannot comment on my personal experience BUT while I appreciate other peoples food values if someone said to me "Sorry we don't do Maccas parties" I would be pretty miffed. Partly because I would feel like there was an element of snobbery and partly I would feel bad for my child and for the OP child as they would miss out on seeing their friend.

I would rather someone just RSVP's "NO" with no explanation but then thats me.

I feel awful you have had such a bad experience your poor little poppet I would have been ropable if that was my kid and I would be reporting the staff member and the way your child reacted to her to the store manager.

[RainbowBrite]

It is a hard situation. We don't 'do' McDonalds parties either.
I have never had one for my children and I never will.
They have been to a couple though...only because they were very good friends and we knew they would be put out if we didn't.
They are very impersonal...the kids don't seem to have the same fun as they do at at home parties. (but that is just my experience)
I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't come because of their 'food values'
I don't go there very often as I don't eat meat...but my DD works there so sometimes when I pick her up the kids will get a treat.

[2CheekyMonkeys]

hmmm... i think i would be a little offended! sorry! only because if i were to have a maccas party for my child it would be because i thought my child would really enjoy it and i would then think.. well whats wrong with it? IYKWIM??

[Aligater]

I have never let my kids go back to a McDonalds party since we were at one once. When it came time to cut their cake they brought out two. One pre cut and one for the child to blow out the candle. The one that the child blew and spat all over then went back out into the store room. We were all thinking... umm what are they doing with that cake, is that just the spit cake or will that be cut up for the next party. Totally freaked a few of us out and there ended up being a lot of pre cut cake sitting on the tables gradually melting in case that was the spit cake from the previous party.

I have had HJs parties for my own kids, and totally agree about the people who are in charge of the games etc.

If someone told me that they don't "do" HJs/Maccas parties, then it wouldn't offend me.

My DH just informed me (he used to work at maccas) that the "spit cake" isnt even a real cake and is just for hygene reasons

[*Beema*]

Will never hold one for my girls.... but did take DD1 to one late last year and it was pretty crap, 40+ degree day, all kids were outside playing in the playground, you should have seen their llittle red faces, the games were crap and played outside int he heat even though there was a shade sail over the top it was darn hot, playground was too big for DD1 and she kept getting stuck or scared and I was feeding DD2, and struggled to get out to help her and the girl running the games kept ignoring her, thankfully one of the fathers helped out. DD1 didn't eat any of the food, only drank the juice and some water, it is one of 3 occassions that she has had juice of any kind.

They didn't have a spit cake at the one we attended.

But the amount of rubbish that was generated was quite mindblowing, and luckily I was able to carefully to dispose of all the crap before getting home

DH has taught DD1, we don't like McDonalds Yucky so she says it everytime, but still wants to play in the playground, but she wants to play in every playground she sees!

Not for me or my family and I would hesitate taking DD's to another one.

[Epacris]

while I appreciate other peoples food values if someone said to me "Sorry we don't do Maccas parties" I would be pretty miffed. Partly because I would feel like there was an element of snobbery and partly I would feel bad for my child and for the OP child as they would miss out on seeing their friend.

I would rather someone just RSVP's "NO" with no explanation but then thats me.

OK now I’m getting confused (I knew I would) because I’m getting conflicting opinions. Some say, please do explain, other say, I don’t want to know the details.

hmmm... i think i would be a little offended! sorry! only because if i were to have a maccas party for my child it would be because i thought my child would really enjoy it and i would then think.. well whats wrong with it? IYKWIM??

I guess this is the thing for me. Anyone having a McDonalds (or similar) party should be prepared for people to decline because there are people in our society (ME) that have strong, real and completely valid objections to them. JMHO.

Thanks again for all your feedback.

[aussienic]

I would never have a party at a fast food place because I have seen a few parties there before and I don't think you get your money's worth

We were going to hire a jumping castle for my Ds2 birthday last year.. rain made us change plans the day before *sigh* we hired out a room in the library and we had just over 30 kids and they all had an awesome time.. and we didn't spend much money either..

I find those fast food parties a waste of money

[Doing my best]

I guess this is the thing for me. Anyone having a McDonalds (or similar) party should be prepared for people to decline because there are people in our society (ME) that have strong, real and completely valid objections to them. JMHO.

Thanks again for all your feedback.

But would the people having the party realise that others may have an issue with it? I would think that if they thought others might have an issue with the crap food, environmental impact etc, they would make alternate arrangements as it would strike a guilt cord somewhere in their system.

I am not argueing with you, more giving an insight from a niave person who had never really thought about where your coming from until I joined BB..

[Glamourcide]

I'd probably just assume that it was due to allergies/intolerances in the food served (which is fair enough, it's quite common these days) and shrug and know there's nothing I can do - have party at Macca's, Macca's food gets served. I try to make people aware when inviting them over for parties/get-togethers that I'm happy to accommodate for intolerances or allergies, I just need to know what they are first so I can make sure I'm prepared something they can eat! This goes for grown-up parties as well as inviting the girls' friends over for playdates

[Epacris]

But would the people having the party realise that others may have an issue with it? I would think that if they thought others might have an issue with the crap food, environmental impact etc, they would make alternate arrangements as it would strike a guilt cord somewhere in their system.

I am not argueing with you, more giving an insight from a niave person who had never really thought about where your coming from until I joined BB..

Yep, I’m sure they wouldn’t, so no matter how polite I am and whether I explain (or lie?) declining will come as a rude shock. I really did want to avoid that, but I guess there’s just no way around it. Either I offend them or they offend me. Oh well.... that’s life hey?

[Muffy]

Im with Hollo.. i would be offended.

Its not like im sitting there FORCING the food down your kids throat.. bring sandwiches or something if you feel that stronly about the 'food' issue.
Why let your kid miss out just because of your views?

[Epacris]

Why let your kid miss out just because of your views?

Ummm... because they are deeply held, extremely important (to me) and permeate my whole existence. What more can I say?

ETA: I suppose the only other thing I can say is “my kids, my choice”. Deal with it.

[Muffy]

But like i said no one is forcing you to eat the food or buy their little plastic toys!!!

But to answer your questions -
WDYT? Sounds a bit snobby to me!
WWYD? I would still go