Hi Belle,
welcome to the thread
I can totally relate to how stressful it can get trying to BF, for me in the end I had to leave it for my peace of mind - in saying that I wish that I had tried a bit longer, but there you go, I did the best I could at the time. Hugs to you & good on you for being able to draw a line for yourself.

ITA agree with Surprised, put your foot down about being able to feed & settle your baby yourself. Have him upstairs with you while you pump if youwant (it might help your milk come down a bit quicker anyway )
I was a bit wary of pumping in front of people initially, these days I pump in front of pretty much anyone, with a shirt over the top you can't see much. But it did take time for me to get comfortable with that.

Also agree with KMN, if you're planning on long term expressing a double electric pump will be the best thing you can do - costly initially but if you pump for a few months it will pay for itself, and if you don't , they generally have very good re-sale value. So worth the money. Also a pumping bra (I made mine by cutting holes in a couple of old bras) which will let you pump hands free (so you can surf BB while you pump, lol).

The only other thing I would suggest is that you might want to pump fairly regularly to start with (I pumped every 3.5 hours the first few weeks then 4 - 4.5 hourly). I know it's a total PITA, but it will do wonders for your supply. Milk supply is hormone driven in the first 8 weeks but you might find it drops a bit after that. And if bub 'wakes up' and starts wanting to feed a bit more, you don't need to worry about trying to catch up with him.

Good luck, it sounds like you are doing great so far. Keep us posted



Surprised - WOW! You're BFing! what fantastic news, I'm so happy for you
I have to say, when I was struggling I was looking for stories of women who had bottle fed & re-established BFing, I couldn't find much & I would have loved to have heard a story like yours, it is such an inspiration.
Huge congrats on pushing through


ETA - starangel you posted while I was typing
I would guess that you are right about your supply being better in the morning, it could be the pump too, some of the manual ones are very good. I used to wash mine after each use & boil it once a day for the first couple of months, then I gave up boiling it too. Breast milk bottles & pump parts don't breed germs as much as formula or other stuff & doesn't need to be cleaned as fanatically (although it's no problem if you want to!)