I remember my first month was psychologically hard coming to terms with being on the pump, not successfully BF, feeling chained to the pump, learning some strategies like feeding DS whilst pumping and just being a first time mum. I actually threw the funnels and bottles across the room in tears a couple of times in those days as I just wanted to be able to BF. I still grieve for not being able to BF but I know I'm doing the next best thing and doing what i feel is right for DS and me.
I could have written this myself. I remember at one stage my DH did his back, I was doing everything. I couldn't leave DS with DH for even an hour cos he couldn't lift him at all (for 6 weeks). One day I tried to time an osteo appointment and got home to my DH sitting next the cot madly trying to entertain DS until I got home... nearly broke my heart. Then someone ran into my car and it took a month to be fixed, so I was trapped at home alot. Through these trials, as if being chained to the pump & not being able to pump wasn't hard enough... it felt insurmountable & impossible. I remember I spent an entire week just thinking about stopping expressing... every pump, every hour, it was too hard, I couldn't do it. But I could. And I did. And I made it through that time, but it wasn't fun. And it wasn't easy.

I also used to look back and think should I have done more, should I have tried more (to BF)? This thread actually helped me to relive and remember what I'd been through trying to feed. I think it's a great question to keep asking yourself... what will you regret? And what will you glad of? I can so understand that grief for BF'ing, but what you said about doing what you feel is right for DS and you is pure gold just like that liquid gold you're giving him.

In regard to sleeping through, my DS started sleeping through quite early (10 weeks) so I just followed his lead. I figured my supply would be better if I just rested when he did, and luckily I didn't have too much trouble with blockages. I did have a few patches of having to pump like crazy (he drank me out of house & home at his 3 mth growth spurt - drank 1.5litres one day!!!) and I had to pump 2 hourly for a few days but I was rather selfishly protective of my sleep lol. I guess I was also lucky in that I don't seem to be prone to blockages, and I always got onto any sore spots super quick. I think what the others said about slowly starting to stretch it and seeing how you feel. Regarding expressing & driving, well if you can do it, I say wow. Not sure I could have... but I'm short with big boobs, I don't honestly think there would have been room haha!

In regards to your goal I think that's great! Break it down & keep it short - it's more manageable that way. Honestly if you'd told me I'd make 12 months I think I would have been horrified, but you just take it one day at a time and I do think you're through the hardest bit... it gets easier as they get older that's for sure. You are just doing a magnificent job . I think EE'ers often don't get enough praise in their own communities. I always felt some folks thought I was a little crazy, so any time you want some validation, please pop in here & share your woo hoo's, it's so important you do - because you are just giving your little miracle the most precious gift of all. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of all that EBM and time that I gave my son, and i have not regretted doing it for one nanosecond. Take some pics of all the EBM in the fridge too I've got a few teheeh it's lovely.