I have an extra issue. XP and i broke up so my next kid will be a half-sibling to DD and we will be a step-family. I really want more children, not least because i adore my DP and making him a father would be a privilege and a joy, but also because i am the youngest of 6 (also a step family, 4 half-siblings) and an only child seems bizarre to me.

BUT i am worried about how Esme will cope. Will she feel like an "outsider" because her siblings daddy lives with them and hers never did (unless she can remember being 3 months old)? If i have more than one child with DP (i'd happily have 2 and possibly even more) will she feel "out-numbered" by the "new" ones? I know to an extent these things can be countered by how DP, XP and I all behave within our extended family, but equally it still worries me.

On the other hand XP and I are good mates and DP and XP get on ok, so DP and i could have 2 and there'd still be a "parent each" for all 3 kids if need be.

I think if i was going to have 3 and i already had 2 i'd have the next one without too much of a longer gap than was between the first 2, kwim? Only because as Lucy says, when there's 2 together they can play together but unless you want 4 waiting a long time between 2 and 3 might mean #3's a bit out there on their own. Obviously Esme was a oops baby too and if you get blessed with one of those you just have to assume the baby themself knew the best time to sneak in.

Bx