Hi Tenar....

I'm so sorry that you are in this situation, it must be so hard for you
I just wanted to give you a childs perspective.
My mum has a bi-polar type illness and has never been medicated as everyone else has the problem and is out to get her - not the other way around.

I have never had a great relatioship with her as my birth is what seemed to tip her from slightly loopy straight down the hill into mental illness town ... (intellectually I know that it was always there but it's a bit hard when you are always blamed for it)

My mum would go from adoring me one moment and then telling me I am the reason her life is so messed up the next and after 10-15 yrs of it I think Dad got so tired of trying to keep the peace that he just pretended it wasn't happening and I just figured if I was going to be blamed and labelled at this horror child I might as well live up to expectations.

The end result - I moved out of home at 15 and haven't been back......

I'm not saying that this is a normal situation for families with a parent with a mental illness - ours is an extreme case but the biggest thing I would have to say is....

1. make sure you have plenty of family / friend support and someone to talk to when it gets too hard.

2. when the little one gets older it might help for them to see a professional so someone outside the family circle can explain mum/dad's behaviour and why it happens rather than the other parents just saying "he/ she didn't mean it - they can't help it...." and help them find coping mechanisms and not self blame for behaviours that are out of their control.

3. if things get really bad/abnormal at home try to get the little one to see other family dynamics so they realise that every family is different and all have their challenges.

It's only now that I am in my mid twenties and dealing with my own issues (and spent a small fortune on shrinks trying to work out whats wrong with me that my mum doens't love me) that I have a better understanding and more empathy towards both my mum and dad for how they dealt with things.

Anyways sorry for rambling .... Like I said this is just my personal experience growing up with a parent with mental illness ..... not saying your hubby would be anything like this.....

Good luckxoxoxox