My sister and I had babies weeks apart, and yes it was hard. Mine were twins and breastfed, they didn't sleep through the night until over a year and boytwin was constantly sick. My niece was FF, healthy as a horse, and slept through from 4 weeks. She was left with babysitter (my mum) at an early age and my sister looked great and recovered fast from the birth. I felt constantly judged, especially because my sister had said a few things about "those women who breastfeed for months and months" like it was a bad thing, and my mum encouraged her to stop her attempts to breastfeed because her baby never wanted off the boob which is apparently a bad thing. Everything my niece (who was the youngest) did was compared to my twins who were slow in their physical development at first. Teeth, talking, sleeping through, starting solids, everything. Looking back nobody was judging me, but I felt that way because my sister parents like my mother did so they saw me as the odd one out, and as a result I couldn't complain about lack of sleep or lack of time to myself because it was all as a result of my own choices.

Now they are older I feel so much less judged. I know how wonderful and special my twins are, and I also known how wonderful and special my niece is. I think the one who was judging the most was me, and now I have stopped doing that I can see that the anecdotes I get about my niece are just for conversation and to let me know how she is getting on because we are geographically so far apart.