I'm looking for advice, or reassurance, or just to hear if this has happened to anyone else. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and never been so unhappy. I've been looking forward to having kids my entire life, as long as I can remember. I was a sweet kid, sensitive, smart, friendly, but shy and nervous, adored my parents and was a good kid until I realised our family was dysfunctional.

I've gradually become more and more withdrawn, sometimes by choice, leaving behind people who have not been positive. I was married at the start of the year to a man I've adored, especially for his differences, as I always thought we were 'yin and yang'. Since the wedding, and more so, since pregnancy, he has become unkind, name calls, screams at me over simple things... He has always liked drinking a bit too much but had earnestly promised to cut down, and I believed him.

I severed ties with my mother, over her lack of support when I defended myself against my sister who has a combination of cluster b personality traits, and has made it her life's work to belittle me, finding the insults that really sting and honing them to make my life hell. My dad passed away years ago, and I have few close friends, only a long term best friend. I generally get along with people, but now I'm just finding I'm so angry and down I can't even make eye contact with strangers.

Throughout the pregnancy my husband and I have had arguments, and I've 'tried to be the adult' by accepting 'it's not me, he was just stressed, I'll make it clear that I don't like to be spoken to disrespectfully and then move on' but the other night he just came out with, quite calmly, 'you aren't a very nice person are you?,' and it just breaks my heart. He is very 'blokey' and I've had to attribute a lot if his insensitivity to that, i.e., if I say I don't like being called a name such as pathetic, f-ing hopeless etc, he has gone on saying 'if you can't hack that, how can you put up with anything' while I just sit there crying, feeling stuck and pathetic.

I don't know if I really am a horrible person, if I've become one (especially in my line of work, it's easy to burn out), is he the problem, are hormones making me too touchy....? I'm having a girl, I'd love to have more kids hut I really fear bringing them into a relationship that is not great. I also don't want my daughter to have a mother who puts up with crap. I am really torn. I don't have any supports and I don't trust anyone, I don't like myself, I'm really clueless.

In a few days we will probably be speaking, I'll have asked him to apologise and he might, begrudgingly, say sorry, and things will go back to as they were. I try to be cheery, even sing his praises to everyone, and I don't even know if it's because he is a great guy, if I want him to be a great guy and I'm kidding myself or what... I'm just over thinking everything and I'm miserable.

And maybe I am totally over reacting and I have antenatal depression and it's playing havoc with my thoughts; I can't think clearly, I haven't the entire pregnancy.

Any help would be great, even if you've been through this kind of thinking, situation, anything.

Thanks.