My SIL tries to 'discipline' my kids, but uses her rules/her terms and it annoys me incredibly and often DD has no idea what she is talking about. Awhile back, she kept going on about using your 'inside voice', and then getting more frustrated with my DD, who had no idea what an 'inside voice' is because we don't use that term.

Our kids are very different and respond to different methods, but SIL keeps trying her rules/methods on my kids. I have spoken up, and it generally doesn't go down too well, but that could be more to do with our relationship.

Raffy, some of the examples of what your bf said would cause my kids to ark up more. coming out of the toy shop, dd might need her little whinge and then she would be fine. But if she was then threatened with going home if she didn't get over it... then she might get respond to that and the 'tanty' would go on longer. similarly, my kids need alot of physical interaction and physical activity, in our own home they are welcome to run around and up and over the couch and do circlework... because i know they need that to be able to settle down later. In places where the behaviour is not appropriate, then i try to fill them up with physical stuff before we go, and (moreso DD) understands that there are different rules for different places.