very sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. I remember going to my Nan's funeral when I was about 2.5 - 3 yo. I remember taking some dirt out of my aunts hand to throw on to the coffin. I don't remember much else apart from the black clothes, I guess it has stuck in my memory quite clearly but I don't remember much else. I think it's appropriate for kids to go to funerals for close family or friends. My husband and I will be taking our 15 month old to a funeral for a good friend next week, but we did check with his family first to make sure they were ok, if it goes pear shaped we'll just leave. However, some discussion about the gravity of the situation may be necessary.. nothing like an impromputu wiggles song to put things in perspective...
I remember attending a few funerals as a child, one for a friend's three year old toddler, which was extremely upsetting. But we believed (even as children) that we were there to support the family and show our respect for the life now past.
We took DD as a baby to the funeral of our 91 year old neighbour and as a toddler to the funeral of her godfather, who died suddenly and unexpectedly at 60. Both times many people came over and expressed their appreciation in seeing her there. Especially the second time her godfather's family were very pleased that she came and they could introduce her and us to friends and relatives who had not met her. Being DD's godfather was very important to him and them (especially since he had no grandchildren of his own).
I also think it is an important thing for children to see how we as parents cope with grief. We are visiting my grandmother next month, who is declining fast. My DD is learning about life by being a part of all aspects of it.
Thanks again everyone.
We have decided to take the kids. I have explained to them what will happen and that people will be crying etc etc. And then i've told the kids they can either come to the funeral or go to school. I've completly left it up to them. I know they are little but if they want to be there then they will make the decision to go. If they don't want to go I'm not going to make them go either.
It has been very interesting reading about everyones experiences.
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