very sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. I remember going to my Nan's funeral when I was about 2.5 - 3 yo. I remember taking some dirt out of my aunts hand to throw on to the coffin. I don't remember much else apart from the black clothes, I guess it has stuck in my memory quite clearly but I don't remember much else. I think it's appropriate for kids to go to funerals for close family or friends. My husband and I will be taking our 15 month old to a funeral for a good friend next week, but we did check with his family first to make sure they were ok, if it goes pear shaped we'll just leave. However, some discussion about the gravity of the situation may be necessary.. nothing like an impromputu wiggles song to put things in perspective...