Co-sleeping and your baby

[Ambah]

LOL, well havent things changed for us now!! Aidyn is regularly co-sleeping with us. Maybe every second night or so he wakes up and cries for whatever reason, and I am just too tired to settle him in his cot so I bring him to bed with us and it calms him down straight away. Although it is terribly uncomfortable as me and DP do not have enough space to move around. Aidyn also sleeps on our bed during the day and a lot of the time I nap next to him. I think it is wonderful for bonding

[katanya]

Ambah great to see that you are enjoying co-sleeping even if it came about through exhaustion!

Well our co-sleeping story!

DP wanted to co-sleep before Felix was born, he felt it natural! I was very daunted by the prospect of having a tiny baby sleep with me, what if I rolled on it? So I bought a bassinette, a cot and a portacot. When first pregnant I was planning on the baby being in the other room from day 1. Then closer to his arrival I thought the bassinette and then his room when out of that.

When he arrived our first co-sleeping expereince happening in hospital of all places, the nurses set us up in bed to go to sleep as I was exhausted from feeding. It was the most magical beautiful thing to look down and see my little one feeding and to wake up with him next to me.

When we got home I continued to have some co-sleeping some basinette time.I was so shocked that I seemed to have intutive feelings about his body and was able to sleep in most difficult positions that previously I would have never been able to do, the power of those mothering hormones!! I have since read Pinky's books and others and read that co-sleeping can increase your "mothering hormones" also baby mimics the mother sleep pattern making wake-ups natural for you both.

The sensation of falling asleep with your little one feeding and waking up with their tiny face so close. I must say in the early days I was worried about the donna and used to put him high up in the bed so the doona wouldn't go over him!

After he grew out of the bassinette we put the cot on as a side car, but now he just sleeps with us, and it's wonderful. I have considered putting him in the cot, and we've had to deal with the rolling issues and safety but thanks to many pillows and bed rails we're safe!

My favourite co-sleeping story is when he was a newborn and I woke up in the night finding he has wiggled himself over to my breast and was trying to attach himself to the outside of my maternity bra!!

I :hbeat: co-sleeping, it's the best way to sleep! I will do it again with next baby even if we end up with 4 in the bed!

[christy]

Matilda moved into her cot at 8-10 weeks of age and then whenever we brought her back in she refused to sleep :smt022 she was too excited by us, so she doesn't sleep with us anymore...so sad

[BellyBelly]

Wow Katanya, what hospital did you go to?! Most are very finicky about sleeping with bubs. What a wonderful thing!

[christy]

the midwives had Matilda in bed with me from birth... they encouraged me to have her sleeping with me from the beginning. I have to admit I got better sleep with her in bed with me than when she was out of bed, I would stare at her constantly O

[Berry]

I had our first-born sleeping in our bed until he was about 8 months old; then I spent a week in a mother-baby unit and from then he slept in his cot. I found it easier to breastfeed him in the night with him next to me, and also liked to keep an eye on him when he was very young.

On the other hand, I have actually seen research which found a correlation between post-natal depression and having your baby sleep in your bed. Perhaps this implies that the pattern may be related to a mother's emotional needs.

[katanya]

Wow Katanya, what hospital did you go to?!

Just the plain old Gold Coast Hospital, some of the midwives were not so keen but I had great ones at night in the first few days. They put a million pillows around us and a bed rail, and used to check in on us just to be sure.I know a lot of hospitals are paranoid about the liability, but obviously mine wasn't!

On the other hand, I have actually seen research which found a correlation between post-natal depression and having your baby sleep in your bed. Perhaps this implies that the pattern may be related to a mother's emotional needs.

wow really? I find it hard to believe? I wouldn't co-sleep if it didn't suit us too, and I know that it doesn't suit some people and I think every mother has to do what's right for her. But the bond I feel with co-sleeping is SO strong. I wonder if the problem occurs because we are trained with images of "good" babies sleeping peacefully in their cots in their rooms, and when some mothers "give in" to a baby who is happier in their bed then they feel like they have "failed" because they feel like they are being not a "good" parent!
By reading the posts here it shows the fact some babies like co-sleeping, and some do not prefering their own space (like Matilda!)

Maybe with increased co-sleeping in our communities (it's done HEAPS overseas in other cultures as a "normal thing") women can feel comfortable with having a baby in the bed without people saying "your creating a rod for your backs" like we get sometimes, usually from my family. My DP's boss, slept with all her 4 children for about a year and said after a certain age they want their own space, obviously when that is is up to the child.

The other issue people raise is the ability to be initimate with your partner, we I can say we don't have any issues in that area, and who says you have to do it in a bed anyhow!

Anyhow enough of a rant, I'm just a huge believer in intutive parenting and families making choices that suit them, not just following what they are told makes a good parent!

[christy]

No I agree katanya, instinctive parenting is definately a plus. I was so amazed when the midwives put Matilda in bed with me after DH got to cuddle while they cleaned me up post caesar and she didn't leave until the morning! She never slept outside our bed for weeks or without me. I loved it for the most part, sometimes I would get anxious with her so close all the time, but I loved it. Then when she refused to do it anymore I was heartbroken...LOL...even now we still try every other day or so to bring her into our bed, but for now we have morning cuddles where when she wakes up one of us goes to get her & brings her into our bed for a big family cuddle...ahhhh....(too bad she spends most of the time crawling over daddy's head but thats okay too...LMAO!)

[Colleen]

wow, i felt bad because I have had Jaykob in bed with me *nearly* every night, lol but now I know i'm not the only one who thinks its much easier.. I feel much better

Jaykob was born at the Royal Darwin Hospital and they also put him in bed with me for feeds/ sleeps after my c sec. But even once i could get up and around they encouraged me to have him in my bed still because it is a great bonding experience.

I was weary about me rolling or moving in the bed but I seem to always wake up in the exact same spot i fell asleep in. you subconciously know they are there when you sleep

I havent had probs with putting him in his own cot, if I do, he will fall asleep it just means I have to get up when his hungry.. So either way.... But i love having him in bed with us

[katanya]

Colleen I am glad reading this has made you feel less guilt about taking him to bed with you, there is a great book called "nighttime parenting" by Dr Sears, he is a paed very pro co-sleeping, you might be abel to find it at your library or ABA if you are a member? It talks about all the advantages, I like you started it because it felt good and it was SO much easier BFing!
Just to let you know I now put Felix in his cot when he has day naps and for the first sleep of the night then he's in with us, he's happy in his cot (still in our room) and also happy with us, it is for safety because he is now crawling.

[Berry]

I found co-sleeping easier at first, and I wonder if the same will happen with my next one? My only concern is that it becomes a bit of a habit and can be a little difficult to transition to the cot later. But I'm still in favour of co-sleeping for at least about 3 months; I think its not only convenient re feeding and monitoring the baby, but its also great for their early developing attachment and feeling of security.

[min]

we are not going to be co sleeping. me and DH are both light sleepers, and we would be awake at any sound bub's made, plus i see night time as our time to spend alone together.

[beckles]

we co-slept with our children, our bed was bigger than a king size so there was plenty of room. they both stopped sleeping with us when they were about 3 years. maybe coming in on and off until 5 but they have definately grown out of it now. we didn't even have a cot much to MIL's disgust!!!!!! we found that we slept heaps better as did the baby/toddler. we all woke up refreshed and ready to start a new day. i believe that it was one of the best decisions we have ever made to just have the baby in our bed all the time and not to fight over having them feed put back in their cot, cry, stress, try to settle again.... arghhhhhh and have them end up in your bed anyway!!!!!!

i tell you what though we got alot of negative comments about our decision - which of course were ignored but it was a shame that people have such strong anti co-sleeping ideas, just cos they don't want to do it doesn't mean it's 'wrong' to do it!

regardless of the negative stuff out there, we will be co-sleeping again with this baby. we feel it is the best way for our family and allows us to get more sleep and rest plus lots of other benefits.

good luck everyone whatever your choice is.

love beckles