Our 9 yr old daughter Emma has been fantastic since the arrival of Baby Lachlan 6 weeks ago.
SInce school has gone back she has been doing a great job to help me in the morning. Before Lachlan was born we were always struggling to get to school on time etc as the kids would just take their time doing everything.
Now Emma gets up and if i am feeding Lachlan which is 90% of the time, she gets her breakfast and also breakfast for Hamish who is 4 yrs old.
After that she goes and gets herself dressed into her school uniform. Once i feed lachlan on one side we change his nappy and she helps get him dressed while i get Hamish started on getting dressed. I then feed Lachlan on the other side, while i do this Emma will make her lunch and get her snacks if i havent done it the night before hand. She also makes sure her bag is packed and that Hamish is ready for kindy. Then we all go load up and get in the car. WE have only been late to school once.
After school she does her homework and helps out around the house. Then she will go and play. She has recently started reading to Hamish at night time, she loves doing this.
My little girl is growing up. It has been such a great change in her. I think she should be rewarded for helping me so much but DH seems to think this is something she should be doing anyway.
He is working very long hours at the moment and its like Emma has stepped up to help me while he is gone. I am very proud of my baby girl.
What do you think?
yes it sounds like she has grown up and seen you need help and has stepped up and helps i think she should get something so that she knows her helping is getting noticed
I agree with kitt3n, I think mayb you should get her something special but not to big.
she is being fantastic and should be rewarded.
I also love the idea of an afternoon out doing something to make her special and show you have noticed!!.
I think you should be so very proud of her, she has stepped up to help out and deserves a huge thankyou. Perhaps a girlie afternoon with you, or her choice of family outings. Something that doesn't necessarily scream 'bribe' but that makes her feel special. Even just letting her choose a movie to watch and dinner etc for a night. Once littleies are in bed she has you to herself...
The fact that she's doing it unbidded means she's getting an intrinsic reward and it would be nice to recognise that (rather than 'reward') because what you don't want to do is say 'what you are doing is worth x' - and present her with something material. I think an outing with just her, you and the youngest is in order, where she can just enjoy herself and have non-carer time...a bit of mothering for the apprentice mummy may well be recognition enough without diminishing her efforts into a gift item
Perhaps to help turn your DH around to your point of view, you could liken it to how mums (or dads for that matter) like to be shown appreciation for their efforts once in a while? IYKWIM? Not so much a reward but a gesture of recognition?
I agree with your DH that she is doing what a member of a family does, but i also agree with you that this is a cause for celebration and recognition
Perhaps you could get her a beautiful book, with blank pages, and write in the front what you have put here, how wonderful she is, what a help, what a support, how much you love her. A diary for her to write in, or maybe even a book for you to write to one another in? Or if she's not a diary type then a beautiful, expensive card, the sort one would send to an adult girlfriend. The words will last longer than anything you buy her (except maybe jewelry) and she'll be able to read them back in good times and bad and know how loved and appreciated she was. My mum sent me several cards like this and since her death in 2005 i have so appreciated being able to read back how it was with us when she was here and it's even helping to shape the way i treat DD.
Anyway, you two should be very proud too, she didn't grow into such a responsible helpful caring girl without a pretty special mama and dada modelling those personal attributes themselves.
The diary to write to each other sounds fantastic, she would love that.
I also said that i would get DH to look after the boys and take her out to say thank you. We are going to go and have dinner somewere.
My Mum sent her a card which she recieved yesterday afternoon in the post.
It says:
My Emma, Nana just wanted to let you know that I am proud of you, You are a beautiful person inside and most importantly you make me proud for the way you help your MUm with your brothers.
People like you who are beautiful on the outside and inside are rare.
wowo tan
That is an absolutly beautiful card. I would love to recieve something like that, so being that age must have been just amazing.
The dinner and diary idea is awsome. good luck with it all
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convincing Dh to reward DD
but that makes her feel special. Even just letting her choose a movie to watch and dinner etc for a night. Once littleies are in bed she has you to herself...
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