coping alone in the first few weeks...

[satya]

Even though my then DF had time off work, a lot of that time I was in hospital (5 nights after the birth). We came home on a Sat night he & his mates spent most of that night socialising with neighbours while all the girls & I fussed around my son. He was around for the Sunday, Monday & Tuesday but then back to work on the Wednesday.

I also had the added stress of having his 5 yo daughter with us for a week from when I got home (it was school holidays) so I was a first time mum not knowing how to do anything with a newborn (his daughter was 2 when we got together so I knew no baby stuff) but having all the responsibilities of a second time mum.

I coped pretty well I reckon. I had huge breast feeding issues & spent most of my time feeding him or pumping. He projectile vomitted after all feeds so I had huge piles of washing and was constantly having to clean the carpet, the couch, etc etc but I managed OK.

I also had a slight problem in that my mum got sick and was in hospital with an infection 2 days after the birth (probably caught off my son who had one too) so she couldn't be around to help me and that had been the plan.

You just have to make the most of what you've got. Take any help anyone offers you. My MIL did housework & laundry for me. Have some meals frozen ahead of time. My mum prepared heaps for me. When people visit let them make cups of coffee themselves.

I didn't even find getting up for feeds in the night all that bad - it was just part of being a new mum (I actually find it much harder now that I'm back at work though).

You need to sleep when bubs does.

Don't stress about your house being a mess. People don't expect a tidy house when they visit & if you are lucky some will help tidy up.

Don't feel bad if you realise it's 1pm & you haven't got around to having breakfast yet.... just aim to do better the next day. Most new mums will skip meals at some stage just because they are so busy tending to bubs that they don't realise how much time has flown by.

I dealt with all the night time stuff because my ex was working and needed sleep. I dealt with all the day time stuff cos he was at work. I'm now a single mum and to be honest I don't feel like I'm doing that much more in relation to child care than what I was when he was around.... he just did the token nappy change or feed & held him or played with him.

To be honest I've never understood the saying that everyone says "the first 6 weeks are the hardest" because for me they just weren't. It was all new & exciting, despite all the challenges. I was never sleep deprived (though I am now that my son is 9 months old & teething).

I'm sure you'll be fine. It can seem daunting at times but it just takes time for you and bubs to get into a routine and things that seem hard at first become second nature in no time.