Defence Force Families

**DaintreeDream** · July 20th, 2009, 12:02 PM

...DD - when we were in Darwin - we had THE MOST visitors EVER for some reason - it seemed like every month friends or family decided to come up - they never knew anyone who lived there before so had never thought of it as a holiday destination IYKWIM??? So yes, it is a long way away (I come from Melb area originally) - and it is remote, but we didn't find it all that bad

...

Funny you say that, when I told my Mum it was a possible location for posting she got a bit excited that she would have an excuse to visit there again, she has been there once before to my cousins wedding who was posted there at the time, she loved it!

Marydean - Thankyou for that link, it had some great information on there and they do offer some services that I may require, like removal of the gap for early intervention, I was a bit worried about having to go back onto a waiting list. Also assistance in getting equipment, but hopefully DD won't need that by the time we move, we are trying our hardest to get her feeding orally by the time our baby comes. I think I may contact them, the only other major thing I am concerned about is having to fly into a major city for specialist appointments, I am not sure if they can help there... thanks again

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**ezymay** · April 24th, 2010, 09:45 PM

Financial security is a big one.
If he chooses the right job then he will be set up for when he wants to leave. That's really something to consider before going in. Recruiting will say just get in and u can transfer into whatever but it isn't as easy as they make it seem.
Dh and I have made some awesome friends.
The housing is generally pretty good. For south west Sydney there is an awesome facebook page that has helped lots of women meet others in the area and suss things out before they get here.
Plus I feel a real sense of pride in what dh does. I'm so proud of him.

**alioops** · April 24th, 2010, 10:42 PM

Freya I have heard rumours that they are making the minimums for families 4 bedders sometime soon. Have you heard anything like that?

**Melbournemumma** · May 18th, 2010, 08:20 AM

Hi girls.

Am feeling a little frustrated with the army at the moment, not that any of it is really anyones fault

dh is on jlc out at moorebank. This is really good as it means that despite him being on course he's not away and can come home most nights. However, as with most army courses there is a field phase. He leaves for 9 days on the 20th of June. Ds turns one on the 23rd o June

Here in lies my winge. Dp misses his first childs first birthday

I know it could be alot worse but I'm still a little sad about it. And when I mention bein sad about it dh gets upset and says "there's nothing I can do about it tara!" I know that, but it doesn't stop me from being annoyed.

Anyway, thought I'd winge here cause I've gotta stop wingeing to dh cause it make him feel guilty and upset. I don't want to do that

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**AnyDream** · May 18th, 2010, 10:08 AM

Tara. The reality of Defence family life is you sacrifice so much that is never acknowledged or repaid. It used to infuriate me that whenever I was expressing feelings about this (DH being away for *yet another* significant life event) - instead of just acknowledging how I was feeling and apologising (like I would) he would get into some weird justification thing - like he had to explain "why" it was ok for the ADF to make those demands

. I can tell ya at one stage it nearly broke our marriage...until the penny finally dropped (him) that he'd better start understanding and acknowleding how hard it is on me. How much I give over for the sakes of his job while he swans around racking up medals/status/free lifetime healthcare.

DH was away for DD2's 1st birthday too - if it's any consolation he felt like **** the whole day and some time before and afterwards. In your case it's a pretty short trip away so try to focus on the fact that you can still celebrate together, even if it's a couple of days early or a week later, kwim? And then do whatever YOU need to on the day to make it special, even if you invite some friends over for cupcakes or a play at the park, kwim.

**Beautitude** · May 18th, 2010, 12:41 PM

Sending you big hugs tara. Its such a hard situation and no-one really understands how hard it is for us. DH is in the RAAF and he missed our first wedding anniversary and most of my last trimester with ds (he only made it back from a trip by 4 days before ds decided to make his early appearance). I used to find it so hard as none of our civi friends understood what i went through when dh was away for weeks on end, no one got how i felt when dh went to work everyday and i didn't know if he would be sent on another trip, and no-one understands the stress we go through when we are alone on special days. I would always whinge to dh about it but as you say, they feel bad about it too but there is often nothing that they can do. Plus i think its harder for them coz they are away from their loved ones on special occasions. Make the day as special as you can for your little man and give him twice as many hugs and kisses to make up for daddy being away and when he gets back have a big celebration. Your special little man will be spoilt double!

**nattyfred** · May 18th, 2010, 02:04 PM

Hi Tara I can totally understand and sending you a big hug. Same is happening for us, DH is on sub 1 then sub 4 this year, missing our 2nd anniversary, his bday and his first Fathers day... Luckily I am on Mat leave tghis year and maybe I can surprise him on a weekend with a visit but he will effectively be away for 3 months boo hoo lol...Not looking fwd to feeling like a single parent. Their 1st birthday is a massive milestone and I hope hope hope my dh is around for that but no guarantees hey?

**nattyfred** · May 18th, 2010, 02:08 PM

Oh and I should add that both of us are in the army and are constantly being disappointed with leaving each other and juggling bosses who dont care about us personally but drive their own agendas constantly...Sucks but the pay is good and gives us the security we need in these uncertain times...lol

**Cass72** · August 5th, 2010, 04:46 PM

Hi there - just popping my head in here. DH is in the Navy and on Monday is off for 4 months. We've got a posting back to Canberra (should come through on paper on Tuesday). I'll move while he is away.

I am just feeling a little low and overwhelmed at the moment but not wanting to burden DH with it so trying to keep the happy face going!! I know I'll be fine by week 3 (the first two weeks apart are the worst). Anyway, just wanting some hugs and sympathy from others in similar situations!

**ezymay** · August 9th, 2010, 05:07 PM

Aww Cas it's so awful to say goodbye! Good luck with the move.

Nat great news for u guys!!! I'd be so happy to go to brissy. DH got posted to Pucka next year eep! I'm not going tho well not at this stage. He is putting in a transfer to engineers so will wait and see what happens with that and another baby before we decide.

**teresa** · August 9th, 2010, 05:19 PM

Hi ladies just found this thread and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Teresa, I am married to a raafie and we have a 6 month old son.
Hi nat

**nattyfred** · August 10th, 2010, 08:21 AM

Cass 72 oh how sad I hope you have some good support and it looks like you do with all your family there

I actually saw the best looking fitness thing in Canberra, Along the river was a bunch of women with prams all doing a curcuit I would have loved to do something like that here....

Ezymay!!!! Oh how fantastic you are UTD (I didnt se earlier!) Oh Pucka sounds ominous but funily enpough sh and I said If we were to get posted there we wouldnt mind...it being all country like I suppose appeals to us... Im coming down your way to do some admin sometime soon we def should catch up before I go I feel like such a slack**** because I really want to come see you

Weve been doing a lot of staying home because V is in such a good routine with her sleeping but Im happy to if she is happy iykwim.... Ill be watching you...lol... to see what you decide. What is your DH planning on doing in engineers? My dh is a Geomatic Technician Instructor at sme and Im a mmt but my job is very hard to get into...

Hi Teresa! Where abouts in Adelaide are you? We lived all over as my dad was a raafie too. This is a great thread it took me ages to find it too

**Nat82** · August 10th, 2010, 05:23 PM

Hi Teresa

Cass - Oh no, I hope the time goes really quickly for you and I'm sure that you will be so busy with the packing and kids etc...

Nattyfred - Yay for getting posted to Enoggera. I loved living in Mitchelton when I was in Brisbane. Wish we could have stayed there

**Cass72** · August 12th, 2010, 05:49 PM

Nattyfred - I have loads of support over East. My parents are going to meet me, DS1 and bubs at the airport when we arrive. The plan is that my mum will stay with me until we move into our new place (if/when we find one....he-he-he!) and then my dad will come down to give us a hand with shifting furniture and all that when our container arrives. EVEN BETTER is that DH has put in for reunion leave the weekend before we pack up to go so we can spend a nice long weekend together (repairing the mess we call a backyard courtesy of our Bullmastif). And, yep, the walk around the lake is great - I used to do that at lunch with a couple of the other girls I work with.

Nat82 - I've struggled through the first few days but now that our posting is "out on paper" I can start tearing the house apart. I have so many things I want to get rid of so I don't have to unpack them at the other end.

Marydean - Thanks. I'm just going through the motions this week. I know that I will kick into gear by Wednesday next week (well that's what it's usually like). At the moment I'm haunting the hallways at night, wandering around like a lost sheep instead of getting some much needed sleep.

Don't know who said it, but we've all been there.....well, DH has missed all 3 of our wedding anniversary's and every one of my birthday's, except this year, since we've been together (5 years). He missed most of my 2nd and 3rd trimester but happily was at home for a month (two weeks before and two weeks after) when bubs was born. Yes, it's hard sometimes and I guess a lot of people just don't get it, but honestly, I'm just so happy when he's home and we're together that I quickly forget the times when he's away.

**Cass72** · August 24th, 2010, 05:23 PM

Argh!!!! Dealing with Toll and waiting for access to Homefind!!

**StrawberryFields** · January 23rd, 2011, 09:58 AM

Freya and MrsBexie - Yay! I'll big big and beachbally by then so it would be great to have some friends around for support

. The other wives I know are married to boys in the same unit, same rank as DH, but for some reason they all just hate me! They go out for dinners and put all the pictures on facebook! It hurts so much

I'm not even that much younger than them, one is only a year older than me so its not even an age gap issue

I think its because I'm actually from QLD....maybe thats it, maybe it has to do with football!

**MrsBexie** · January 20th, 2011, 08:10 AM

Hey all,

I just found this thread! I am married to an Army boy and have just had our first child, Charlotte 2 weeks ago.
We are currently on a 9 month posting in toowoomba while he finishes his Av Tech training. DH has been in for 6.5 years and was a combat engineer with 3CER before hand...
DHA hasn't been to horrible for us thank god! Although in this house we have no aircon or even fans and that sucks with a newborn!! Dha said if we wanted to buy n install an aircon unit they would pay to have it removed when we moved but we'd have to pay to install it at the new place... WTF? Lol.

I feel for all those who's partners are or are being deployed!!! I am dreading the day DH has to go away

luckil Blackhawks aren't in Ghan so I'm safe for now.
My love is with you ladies!!!