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Thread: Defence Force Families

  1. #19

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    I have found that I have never had a neighbour come over to say hi never never never but that could be because I'm not a very soical person but still most the time if you keep to yourself then that is how you will be left but if you want to brake out and make friend then its up to you to do this, I think that people tened to be stand offish ( if thats a word) because if you are Army or RAAF then you can be there for a long long time so its hard to make friends when you know that they will too move away ( navy move around a lot ) and for the Navy people you may only be there a year so it gets to the point where you think why should I bother ( well it did for me )...

    But like I said if you make the effort then I am sure it will pay off for you, may times I would see the new people move and think that I sould go over there with coffee or something but never had the corage (sp?) but I know that if someone came over and offerd me one when we were unpacking I would have been very greatfull....

    As for the base's like I said I did really like living on RAAF and Larakeyah but they can be clicky when you first walk into a playgroup run by the defence no matter where you are you WILL be asked what you DH is in and what rank he is I always told them the truth and never found I had a problem with it and if I did then I would stay away from those people but I would say to try to mfind civvy playgroups as it has been know to go pear shaped at these things before and it works it's way back to the boys ( in our case the boats ) and then the men cant get away from it and have to deal with it everyday.. ( it happened to me it all went very wrong and I never did go back to a defence playgroup again...)



    hope some of this helps

  2. #20

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    Hi there!

    Im the Anna Jodi mentioned in the post above.

    My DH has been in the Army for 6yrs and my father has been in for 30yrs so Im an old hand at military life

    We're currently in Albury Wodonga, my DH used to be infantry (3RAR) but he trade transfered to do the fitter armament course and we are uplifting and heading to Townsville on July 18th. Super excited, Ive heard nothing but fabulous things about Townsville! Ive also lived in Sydney, Singleton and Puckapunyal. I was born in Brisbane when my parents were at Canungra but I dont remember living there.

    Defence homes are generally really nice esp in the cities. Alot of places have shortages at the moment, Townsville and Brissy being two of them. We had a SR picked out in Townsville but because our move got pushed back 3 weeks we had to give it back. It was a lovely 4 bedroom home in a great location. But we'e assured similar if not better houses will be available for us next month.
    As far as I know they are eliminating all base housing by next year. We currently live across the road from one of the bases down here in a little patch of defence homes and theyre demolishing them in the next 2yrs.
    As for DHA, all I can say is you win some you lose some. Different DHA's give you different results. Moving has always been an issue for us, we've had some shocking breakages and packing problems. Just best to be aware and stand your ground against them if they give you [email protected]

    As for friendliness and neighbours, it depends on the town/area your in. Here in A/W, they arent fond of the military. Not that I see many civilians as I attended military-run playgroups etc. I live in a military only patch of housing across from base and Id be lucky to see/speak to/know 5 neighbours out of 45 houses! Certainly not as friendly as it used to be. Some wives/partners, esp the new ones in my experience, can be real catty. Ive had some bad problems here with rumours etc all because I just dont want to be friends with women who gossip and complain constantly. Some of my husbands workmates also dont like me befriending their partners because Im a "bad influence" aka I have a brain and independence and they dont want their partners do be the same. Unfortunately as a military spouse its a rough trot sometimes and we sacrifice alot. If your partner deploys or goes on exercise we have to be able to stand on our own two feet esp with kids in tow and make alot of decisions independently/control finances etc Personally my Dh likes that he doesnt have to worry about me falling apart if he goes away for any length of time and he knows Ive got it all under control so he can focus on his job, because its very stressful for them alot of the time. To each their own though. Elsewhere you live amongst civilians and like anybody, whether your neighbours meet you or not depends on the person themselves. I usually like to go over and say Hi, let them know we have 2 kids and a dog so if there is every any issue with noise please let us know etc etc etc My husband and I are very friend-oriented, we like to have bbq's and get everyone to come round/bring their kids. I also attend military spouse groups like coffe clubs etc. I know Townsville has 2 such groups that are apparently great fun! Plus you'll know all of us gals so your bound to know atleast 1 person in each posting locality!

    If you do come to Townsville Id be happy to befriend you and I know there are a few others ladies on here, military and civilian, who are lovely and willing to meet people new to the city

  3. #21

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    Hi Anna!

    DH is going to Albury Woodonga for his conversion training on 8/7/08, so our DH's might meet especially considering it is RAEME! I am still hoping for Brissy as I am not the best with humidity but would prefer Townsville if we dont get it. I am not going to be taking too much up with us, I will buy new crockery there so they wont have much to break The majority will be furniture. We plan to keep both of our cots because there is a chance that baby #3 will be 3&4. We plan to start TTC when we get there

    In ARes DH is in 10/27 RSAR and keeps joking about how he will soon be one jumping up and down on a pogo stick trying to catch a glimpse of the action I wonder if you have heard that before? It is so nice to see them in dress uniform on Anzac day, i love watching him, And even the Khaki looks hot

    How long into his conversion training do they usually give you a moving trip or the info on houses available? would be nice to start looking now

    I grew up across the road from a defence family and they were wonderful! They still live in their house but he is no longer in the army. He drove my bridal car (it was his car) so we could probably ask them what they went through. The community is what we make it so I guess I will just have to go and introduce myself I can do that.

  4. #22

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    How long is your hubby's conversion training? They may meet each other if he is at Latchford Barracks, my other half does metal working as part of his training. We found out about our posting in March and we were *supposed* to leave in June so 3mths before your due to leave maybe? You get access to Homefind which allows you to look at housing in your posting locality via the net as soon as your AFR (application for relocation) is in to DHA. Are you moving to A/W or staying where you are until he gets posted on?

    LOL @ your DH, my hubby says the same thing all the time. He has been on deployment once before to Timor, way before I met him and he would have gone to Iraq the year our son was born (he was in the same Unit as Jake Kovco ) but he discharged and then reenlisted. He's happy to be a tradie now, not as much chance of deployment, he'd rather be watching our boys grow up instead of seeing pictures for 10mths at a time, which is why he quit the infantry.

  5. #23

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    I am staying here for the conversion training (65 days) and once he gets a posting I will move. Our lease here expires in october so if i stay until mid september which is when we expect to get a posting, we wont have to break our lease too early. He doesn't know exactly where his training is but he knows it will be A/W. He will be doing Metal Smith so they have some decent chance to meet then

  6. #24

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    Hi Alioops, My husband is army and we live in Townsville. I LOVE it here, it is a great lifestyle, really great for families esp if you love the outdoors... I have found that it depends on who your neighbours are as to whether you meet them, we live in Riverside, awesome house - DHA, and have met a couple of our neighbours but had to make the effort to meet them. Anyhoo, Im sure whever you end up you will enjoy i and if you end up in Tsv it would be lovely to catch up Oh and we will be TTC Dec 08 / Jan 09 so if your here our #3 will be the same age

  7. #25

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    Hi WBSB!

    Welcome to BB!

    We are not sure but we may bring TTC forward to just after the move, incase DH gets sent overseas. His current seargent thinks that they will be pretty keen to send him to Afghanistan to help with the rebuilding so if that happens it will probably mean he is away for Christmas and New Years.

    What does your DH do in the army?

  8. #26

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    Good Morning Alioops,

    My husband works on the black hawks at the RAAF base.
    I know what you mean about the TTC, like everything when married to the defence it all has to work around them!! We too are currently negotiating our TTC date. My big plan was Dec 08 / Jan 09 but I have just been told that he is most likely going to be in Timor (90%) from Oct for 4 mths, which means he misses Oscar's 1st B'day, Matilda's 2nd, Christmas (we already have a holiday booked!), my b'day (which Im happy to miss myself lol) and most likely our wedding anniversary... Hence me sounding a little jaded at 5:49am... I don't really want to be pregnant this year, just had two back to back and have a few goals I'd like to achieve first, ie. losing preg weight, and I also want to have the best chance of a VBA2C... So I guess mine will probably be amended to TTC March 09 if at all... Sorry to have had a little verbal spew I am literally tired and a little tired of army wife life!! oh well, better put my big girl panties on and suck it up hay... Must just be the time of day...
    Hope your move goes well and you have a great day...

  9. #27

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    WBSB - Dont worry about DH going away. You'll have fabulous friends like us to help you through it

    And way to go on aiming for a VBA2C! Have you thought about hiring a doula to give you a bit of extra support?

    Seems like a few of us are TTC #3. We are starting as of right now and I am super duper excited. I love being a mum and after thinking we'd never have kids to have 3 is just amazing. We're planning a homebirth for #3 and hoping it will be a little girl to add to my testosterone boosted household hehe

    You guys have to leave the girly vibes to me ok

  10. #28

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    Hi Anna, thanks for your support I am going to have a doula at the birth, I think they are a great idea... That's great that your studying to be one, there seems to be a great birth buddies doula's here. If that makes sense! A home birth, wow, that would be amazing... I too am hoping for a girl, fingers crossed...
    Apparently if you eat low cal diet when TTC that increases the chance of a girl. Anyhoo, best go have some lunch while the little people are sleeping.
    Thanks, Im feeling heaps better after this mornings little vent

  11. #29

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    It's funny reading this - some things don't seem to change over time whilst others have. My Dad was Army (RAEME!) and we moved HEAPS. I can vividily recall neighbours bringing over scones and coffee as soon as they saw the moving truck pull up! That was something Mum did as well. Then DHA housing began to be intergrated "into the community" and we had more and more civvy neighbours. We were lucky that we usually had one or two Defence families in the same strip though that were friendly and provided supports. The civvies were usually pretty dubious and less friendly due to the frequent moving in and out.
    But then you get communities like Holesworthy in NSW where the "intergration" has worked really well and most neighbours will introduce themselves - civvy or otherwise!

    My DH is Reserves but I can still relate to each of you! The partners at his Unit are pretty hard to deal with sometimes - it's all about rank. I personally couldn't give a rats! There was one partner who was an Officer (DH was a Sgt, she was a Captain) and so no one would talk to her! They were completely different Corps! After that, DH told me I couldn't join as was the plan because I'd outrank him as a Nursing Officer.

    If you're concerned about meeting people, you could always join a hobby group or organisation where you can meet like minded people. As a kid, I joined Girl Guides so I could meet people. As an adult, it was SES (nation wide), CFA, and St John Ambulance (Nation Wide). And of course play groups!

    Good luck with the move Ali - embrace it as a new adventure and definately let the packers do all the work! We only ever packed things they wouldn't pack (like Dad's firearms) and things Mum didn't want to risk being broken (heirloom china etc). We had surprisingly few breaks - usually it was things like the fridge being scratched or a table leg being bent. I actually miss the nomadic life I grew up with!

    MG

  12. #30

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    WBSB, well Im happy to offer my services as a doula to you when the time comes if you want Ive had 2 vaginal births so Im a bit of an old hand at it lol

  13. #31

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    Anna and WBSB, You can have the girls, I have 2 already, I want a boy

    WBSB, I have had 2 waterbirths, which were awesome. number 3 will probably be a waterbirth too. I have had great birth experiences and natural pain relief for them. I have confidence in your ability to have the nex bub naturally too Re TTC: It is best to get the weight off between #2 & #3 as it is harder for each baby. I have also had my 2 close together and have finally had more of my marriage not pg than i have had pg. for a while there I had 18 months pg and 9 months not!

    MG, All of the families in DH's ARes unit have young children, so we all got along when we met up for the family day. His unit is very relaxed though and he gets along really well with the seargent that runs his base, and he is a private atm! I think for me it is more a thing of the women with higher rank want to move up a class IYKWIM, not be welcoming and help the families who are where they have been. I think i will be trying very hard to be helpful for the newbies when I am an old hand at it

    WBSB, If I am in Tsville I will be there for you but no offence I hope we get brissy, I like the temps I see on the forecast there

  14. #32

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    Hi ladies

    Hope you don't mind me joining in - a girlfriend of mine sent me the link to your thread!

    I'm a Townsville defence partner too. My partner is in the army and has been for 6 years - although at the moment he's looking at other options due to being messed around so much lately (nothing new in his unit though!).

    I'm originally from Perth and moved here to be with him 2 1/2 years ago and he's originally from country Victoria.

    Townsville is a great place to live - the weather is AWESOME. I've made some magical friends up here too - some others defence, some not! I'm expecting our first bub in just over a week's time, so having more defence mums to talk to would be great....

    Take care

    Taz

  15. #33

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    HI Taz!

    The more the merrier IMO! I started this thread so we would all know people wherever we get posted to and not end up lonely, but there is yet to be someone in Brissy pop in

    Re the weather in Tsville, how hot does it get and for how long and how humid is it?

  16. #34

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    Ive heard its not too bad once you get used to it Ali. TBH I am so looking forward to no winter, I love summer. Its warm all year round, from what I can remember someone telling me wet season is Nov-April.

  17. #35

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    Hi again

    the humidity is something I love from places like Bali & Thailand so I didn't have a problem with it at all. Usually, it starts warming up around November, but really gets humid December - February / March. The rain comes in during that time too.. but it's NOTHING like what I've experienced in Perth - when it rains here it's still 29 degrees so it's alright if you get wet 'coz you don't freeze!

    From around March onwards it cools down a bit and winter is still a nice 26 degrees during the day, getting cooler (again, not the same as other places - our minimum here is usually around 12!!!) at night!

    How are you all liking being defence partners? And how long have you been one for? Personally, I haven't had much support at all when my partner has been away and we have both been messed around by the army, so I'm not a big fan at all! But, I've been told it's just the section that Bondy (DP) is attached to and the rest of the place isn't as bad... we'll see!!!!

    Taz

  18. #36

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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnaT View Post
    WBSB, well Im happy to offer my services as a doula to you when the time comes if you want Ive had 2 vaginal births so Im a bit of an old hand at it lol
    Thanks, Ill need all the help I can get!!!

    Hay I saw that you were hoping for a girl too... I have read in several places the following results from a UK study:
    Women on low Calorie diets or who skip breakfast at the time of conception are more likely to give birth to girls. IVF research has deomonstrated that higher glucose levels encourage the development of male embryros. Women who dont eat breaky are more likely to have low glucose levels, which may impact the sex of their offspring. This research is thought to exlain why in developed countries, where many young women choose to have low calorie diets the proportion of boys born is falling. Dr Fiona Matthews of The University of Exeter

    Alioops - Guess that means you need to eat a big breakfast

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