thanks for your replies everyone. It is good to know that others feel the same way.

Fionas, I can totally relate to your story. I also don't drive, and have had many a moment like that.

I think I panic about being left 'alone' so much in part because I am resentful. Because DH may be going away for 'work', but to me that is a holiday. It is a chance to do something without the kids (or me) and have a full nights sleep and eat dinner uninterupted, that he doesn't have to cook! And I am jealous, because I am going to have to do all those things (plus some) on my own, without any help. I tell you Single parents have my utmost respect - It is hard!

I have talked to DH and am feeling a bit better, because I think he is starting to realise what it means for me here with the kids, when he goes away for work or army reserves. He has been doing almost everything this weekend, and letting me sleep or read or otherwise relax a bit.

I think I need to try some positive self talk to try and help me cope.

Fingers crossed the kids decide to behave while he is gone.