Do you enjoy being a SAHM?

[Lolli]

I think that's what really gets to me some days- I had an amazing, somewhat glamarous job where I got to dress all sparkly every day, meet famous people and get payed to play Nintendo and watch movies... and I gave it up for this?? Somedays I have to remind myself that once upon a time, I was a functioning member of the adult world- and will be again some day.

[Roryrory]

LR what did you do pre-bub! That sounds like a great job

[Lolli]

Rory I was a full time entertainer for a children's charity, mostly based at the children's hospital. My main job was to play with the kids, dressed as a superhero, and host the in house tv station *sigh* I miss it very muchly

[Roryrory]

Oh I can imagine that would have been fun!

[Rouge]

Hmmm bored? No not so much. I have a very busy life and schedule and I think about all the extra activities I did with DD that I don't do with DS now! Sheesh! I am on both school and kinder committee. I spend a lot of time with friends, helping out friends... I'm always doing something! I have a big village and with that comes responsibility. But y'know I love it. I love giving back. I love being there for my friends when they need me and I love giving back to my kids community. Some of my friends who work say to me I'm busier than them BUT I don't think its about keeping busy, its about what you get out of it. If you aren't enjoying being a SAHM there are things you can do to make it more enjoyable.

And y'know you can have your cake and eat it to. Aside from my SAHM social life I have a pretty awesome adult social life too. So I really don't ever feel like I'm waiting for something. Just because you have children doesn't mean your life has to end or you need to stop being who you are. If anything your children NEED to see who you are and therefore you must continue to show them that. If you change for your children to be "mummy" as oppose to the multi faceted person you were prior to parenthood you're kind of short changing them on some great life skills they could be learning from you. And no I'm not talking about strapping your child to your back and heading to the local nightclub. But y'know just because I don't go out anymore doesn't mean I don't get to have fun. My coffee table is my podium and I'm not afraid to dance on it And I do frequently - ask anyone who knows me. And you can still be responsible and have fun... being a parent doesn't mean you have to be boring! Hell No!

Well thats just my take on it anyway.

[Fleur]

Does anyone know how to find that motivation for housework - how to find that satisfaction?

For me, the motivation didn't come until after I started work - a bit of a catch-22 there!
I spent 10 years as a SAHM before starting work, and I was just about mental by that stage.

I really do think, like most things it comes down to the individual. Some people will love it, other like me need something outside of home. Neither option is better or worse - I think the only bad thing is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, kwim?

When I stay at home I become bored, unmotivated, depressed, lazy & bleuch. It's better for me & my family for me to work even just a little bit. DH & my family recognise this too (ok, so it's pretty obvious )
FWIW I wish I did well as a SAHM, I had very pretty pictures in my head of what it should be like, I just couldn't make it work.

Right now I am trying to have a bit of both worlds... DD2 is in FDC one day a week while I work & most of my work is from home. That is more than enough at the moment to satisfy me. TBH I'm not really loving having her in care but right now we need the money and the fact is I do enjoy working - if I could do it all with her by my side I would be having my cake & eating it too

People keep saying things like "you'll never get the time back" or "its time to sacrifice your career for your family".
FWIW - IMO - having something mentally stimulating for you (work or otherwise) even if it means some time away from your children, does not "harm" your kids. I subscribe to the "happy mum, happy kids" school of thought.

Me too and FWIW I think it's really rude of people to comment on your choices like that. Maybe try telling them that it's all tied together - if the job goes, your satisfaction goes, & the family ends up worse off anyway...

My answer.... yes, but. Yes, but I do crave mental stimulation and contact with the outside world sometimes. It can get boring at home - for sure. I am also a person who is at their best when they are busy. I mean- the more time I have, the more time I waste. Then I get frustrated at myself!! I feel guilty for not having a perfectly clean house when I have so much time on my hands. I really hate housework.... and I'm certainly not ashamed to admit it!!

Then again, if I actually imagine myself going off to work, dropping DS at his nannas or daycare, it makes me sad- and a bit jealous, and I don't want that either.
So for now I find it useful to remind myself of this simple fact in order to get a realistic perspective; he/they will only be this little for so long.

...all that exactly

ETA - I found this thread & all your replies really interesting. When I was a SAHM I felt like I was the only one not doing well at it, like I was the only one who didn't love it & I felt like there was something wrong with me
It's so good to read all your posts - it reinforces my belief that we all need different things and there's nothing wrong with that!

[sista]

I'm totally with Rouge on this one. I am homeschooling my children also and so it means I am even more "tied" up with my kids than most but for sure the life you make for yourself is up to you.

My husband looks after the kids when I need a break and he usually knows when I need it lol If I tell him "I need a break" its been an exceptionally difficult day, I usually don't have to say it for him to know. And yes, happy mum = happy kids, you do what works for you and your family, no one else's opinion counts, including other family members!