When DS was born DH had 1 grandparent and both parents alive, I had 3 grandparents and both parents. (DH was 24 and I was 18)

When DD was born it didn't change for DH but I only had 1 parent alive and all 3 of my grandparents died soon after DD was born. (DH was 28 and I was 22)

They have my mum my plus my step father, DH's parents and his grandmother. We live 10hrs (driving) from mum and her partner but mum calls 3-4 times a week and see them 2-3 times a year. DH's parents now only live 1.5hrs away but have usually lived 6-10+ hours away, they haven't put in any effort fom day one but seem to be putting a little in now. His grandmother has also pretty much done her own thing and we use to travel 8hrs to see her 1-2 times a year but she's now only 2-3 hours away and see her maybe 4-5 times a year but don't really have any other contact with her.

We don't have the big family thing even though DH has 4 siblings, they just not seem to be that kind of people. It's a shame because I grew up with lots of aunties and uncles, cousins and Sunday roasts at nan and pops, I really am sad they don't have that.