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Thread: Familes, or should I say In Laws...

  1. #1

    Default Familes, or should I say In Laws...

    Does anyone else have strange IL's ?

    When i found out i was pg with Kimberley they was great. With Alex MIL booked to come over on his due date but he was born 3wks early. This time no mention of coming not that i want the hassle again of MIL being here when i have this baby but it's just been the whole reaction. When we told her the reply was "take my breath away, when" and then went on to tell Paul he will have to have the snip.....It just puzzles me why he would have to have it done. It's not like she stopped at two kids. I know when he was youger he said he never wanted kids but how many young guys say that until they meet the right person.

    We then told FIL that the baby might be born with Down Syndromme and we might have the amnio to find out that was the last time the new baby was talked about. Since then DH has talked to his dad and mum and nothing was said. We went ahead and had the amnio. Once we got the results i did a lovely email explaining the last 18wks and what has gone on. I sent the email last Thursday which i got some lovely replies from friends and my family but Noting from the IL's.
    I feel so angry about this and i think i am driving DH mad as i just want them cut off from anything. I know i won't but it's just upsetting for me and i would love the kids to know they have two sets of caring grand parents. I was brought up with out any i even didn't have any Aunts and Uncles so it means so much to me.

    I sent a email today asking if they got our last one and will see how long it takes them to reply. Also we get no replies when we send pictures or small video clips of the kids.

    I really thought MIL would have asked about coming when the baby is born but no. But i think that has to do with them not having any money that is another long story.
    If she wants to come now it's too late as my dad has booked to come at the end of January.

    ETA: Finally got a email from SIL and all it said was yes we did get your last email.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Northern NSW
    Posts
    657

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    Michelle :hugs:
    I know just how you must be feeling at the moment, as my IL's arent worth bothering with either.
    When my DH told my MIL (without my permission of course), she went white as a sheet, and all she said was "oh when"
    And I begged her not to tell anyone else as I hadnt told my mother either,,,,,,yet she blabbed all over town to anyone who would listen. The very next time I spoke to her, she asked if she had told me that she had told my SIL#3, I said no,,,,she then went into great detail about how my SIL was absolutely crushed, and cried and cried and cried etc etc about my pregnancy, (way to load me up with guilt etc about my new bub,,,i wonder now if she was actually trying to make me feel bad and depressed??, or if she is just an insensitive [email protected]$ch??)
    None of my 4 SIL's have spoken to me yet at all, so I just cant be bothered wasting my time worrying about why etc if they dont want to have anything to do with their neice/nephew, that is truley sad, and their loss.
    My own mother has been so much more supportive, and i told her at 12 weeks,,,,3 weeks after MIL found out.

    You deserve so much better than their lack of support, so try not to let it worry you hun, afterall, it is them who will miss out on your beautiful family, and new bub.
    All the best hun, remember, you have all the support you could ever want here on BB, with all these lovely ladies who truley do care

  3. #3

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    We still haven't heard from them and Paul knows how i feel and i think he is starting to feel the same way also.

    Brooke to be honest i don't want to call them i want them to worry about us for a change so i am banning all emails being sent to them and see what they say. The funny thing is MIL's sister lived in South Africa and she never heard much from her and all MIL would say is out of side out of mind but that is how they have gone with us. Paul's Aunty said this would happen sooner or later so i shouldn't really be shocked byit. I'm just glad my family are doing all they can to spend time with us. Kimberley is so looking forward to seeing her Pops again.

  4. #4
    kerry Guest

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    Michelle, how could they be like that about their own grandkids (let alone son).. out of sight, out of mind... obviously have very small minds indeed! have a read about my wierd inlaws... it might cheer you up a bit.


    Wierd in-laws... most certainly do, well did:

    Family Values
    Men are judged on how much they earn,how big the house they own is, how big their car is, how 'spanking' their woman is and how many different ways they can kill animals.

    Women are judged (and in order) on how well they clean the house, how thin they are, how goodlooking they are, how they dress, how they cook... women should have no other interests than cleaning and cook.

    FIL - infomed me at 12w pg that "I better have a boy as girls are a waste of time, effort and space. Besides Xxxxs don't throw girls". Refers to housework as "*****es work". His wife has to go to bed when he does, regardless of what she wants. If she tries to read, craft, pc, watch tv he annoys her so much she can't. He never talks to someone, always yells and even when have a friendly conversation comes over agressively. He eats with his hands, even at restaurants. He drinks 16 cans of beer a day, at least. I have seen him remove his shoe at the table and "smack" his grandson (xss) with it. The man is moron.
    His wife (XSMIL) - Normal, lovely, grandparent type person... has been fantastic with B.
    XMIL - Where do I start!?!... the woman would eat her own young if it benefitted her. She has stollen money from both of her sons. She is a mercinary bltch who I am sure has sold her sole to the devil. She os addicted to prescription morphine and valium. She is currently in the process of bancrupting her latest unsuspecting male friend. She is pure evil!... B has seen her less times than I have fingers, thank GOD! However XFIL (her X husband who she married and took for everything TWICE) holds her up as a paragon of virtue becase "she really knows how to clean a house" where as I am "a fat lazy big" because I would rather spend time with my child than spit polishinf the archetraves. This woman made her kids sit on a mat on the floor all day until they started school so they didn't get dirty. My X has numerous scars on his body from where she 'disaplined' him as a child.
    XNIL - (x's nanna) - the reason that the XFIL is the way he is... this woman is 73 and gets up at 5.30am in the morning to clean her granny flat. Then she goes to her sons house and cleans that. Some days she catches buses and trains to go to her daughters house and clean that. Aparently a womans value is determined by how well she cleans her house.
    Famous sayings form this family...
    "A fat woman doesn't care about herself so how could she care about a man"
    "Make sure you teach B how to clean/vaccum/mop/dishes/etc so that she can make someone a good wife one day"
    to my x when we were still together, but within earshot of me "I don't know how you can stay with her. These floors don't look like they have been mopped in days" (I mop once a week, spot mop as needed)
    "This house is a pigstydee (their own little language)" (because there are toys on the floor.. and dishes in the sink).

    OH just had to vent.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    2,300

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    Oh god Jo...thats horrific..thank goodness they are ex's....i cant believe there are still people in the world like that!!!!

    Jo

  6. #6

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    OMG Jo they are just plan bloody awful. I'm glad they are ex's and i hope you don't have much to do with them.

    Brigid is such a lovely little girl.
    I love the picture with her wearing the glass that is so cute.

  7. #7
    kerry Guest

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    Thanks for the lovely comments about B. I think she is just lovely too and I'm definately not biased, lol.

    She might look just like her dad but thankfully she has more my families personality and intellect.

  8. #8
    kerry Guest

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    Michelle,

    Congrats on little Eleanor... I love the name, it really is so feminine. Hope family affairs are sorting out too.

  9. #9

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    We heard nothing from MIL over Christmas not even a card. DH called to tell them when Eleanor was born which of course made me angry. But he said they was happy and he thinks MIL is planning on a visit. I said no way is she staying with us i am just way to angry for that.
    Kimberley's 4th birthday is in just 10days and i wonder if they will get her anything this year last year she got nothing until it was Alex's birthday.

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