While we can ask PiL, it is sporradic because they can't cope with too much DS. It isn't fair on them, they're old and have raised their family. They don't need to raise mine too. Me starting a new job and DS's school not starting at the same time meant PiL did quite a bit of care for DS one week, but they really can't do more. We have to rely on childcare and now wraparound school care. They live about a half-hour away (up to 45 mins in bad traffic) and none of us thinks twice about commuting that distance, I mean my work is well over an hour away anyway! I wouldn't have PiL to stay/stay with PiL with a short distance to travel.

My parents live hundreds of miles away and things are better for it. They would come and stay for a week and help out in severe cicumstances, but not every month. Nor would I expect them to.

So minimal help here and don't expect any more help. Have you asked the grandparents what they want to do about it, if they'd be willing to help more if you lived closer?