thread: Grandmothers

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2005
    Hobart - Tassie


    I currently have my mum staying with DH and me for the past 6 weeks as she's back from UK to buy a property here. She has brought something and settlement is 13th July and 20 mins away. Yay!! I love my mumsie but it has been very stressful having her live with us.

    Before she came to stay with us we discussed that when our 1st bubs was born she'd stay with us. Now she's got a place and plus she'd be bringing back her b'friend. I have changed my mind and I dont want her or her b'friend staying with us at any stage before delivery or after we bring bubs home.

    Any suggestions on how to say nicely without hurting her feelings - you cant stay with us. She is very, very sensitive.


  2. #2

    Mar 2004

    maybe you can make it seem that you are suggesting that she not stay for her sake ie the baby will be up at all hours and we don't want you to exhaust yourself trying to help, you're sure that her and her BF will want the privacy of thier own home and be more comfy in thier own bed.
    Or maybe you can make it seem that it will be better/healthier for you if she is at a distance ie you need somewhere outside the home that you can visit and just be yourself so that you don't feel homebound but at the same time don't feel pressured to be all dressed up etc (like a home away from home).
    I think if you try to emphasise that you will really need her support and downplay the don't want her staying factor it will be less likely to offend. I'm sure that she wants to help so maybe you can suggest some things that she can do for you from her own home ie cook some meals for the first week or so that you are out of hospital and bring them over or do some shopping for you.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Aug 2003
    Melbourne, Australia

    Samantha I would maybe say to her since she is going to be so close that she could be more comfortable being at her place. If you need to call on her help, its only 20 minutes away.

    But I understand about being close to your mum. I love my Mum and she is only 5 minutes away. Being so close it was a complete relief. I had her around nearly everyday for the first couple of weeks. But it was also good that she could go home too. LOL! My Mum is not a domineering woman, so she would only help if I needed it and would wait for me to say something. I respect her for that, because she understands me well and respects me.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2003
    Kilmore Vic

    Samantha- wondered if you had come up with any ideas or had the discussion yet. I too would talk to her and be honest really. Wait until it gets relevent first and your bub is on it's way and then have a discussion one day about how you and DH had been thinking that although they had thought that you would need her to move in, as she is close anyway maybe it would work out better if she stayed at her own place and would it be ok if you call her if you need to. I am sure she would understand that, she may even be happier with that, as it is hard to be in someone else's home even if you are related.

    Good luck

  5. #5
    Debbie Lee Guest

    Samantha - definitely be honest. I like Dachlostar's suggestions. I
    think if you try to emphasise that you will really need her support and downplay the don't want her staying factor it will be less likely to offend.
    If she is offended in any way, I bet it all disappears once bubs is here!