What Chi-Chi said, and PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE! I know it sounds ridiculous but this has been the most effective way to get a certain behaviour. Its worked with manners, dinner time fights, listening you name it. When she was little and unable to reason with I would just wait it out, and then when she calmed down I would praise her LOTS. I would tell Paris that I knew she was upset and that she needed to calm down. And then when she did I would cuddle and praise and kiss her and tell her she was a good girl for calming down. It worked, consistance is the key. And notice when she does listen to you and praise her for it that way she will strive for a new sort of attention. I believe in talking to your kids no matter what age they are, I never baby talked to paris and I would say quite clearly what I wanted even when I knew she might not understand. I think not only is it important because you'd be suprised how quickly they pick things up but also it allows you to say how you are feeling too which also prevents the melt downs When it came to full blown tantrums say in the house...I would put her in a safe spot where she couldn't hurt herself ie not near sharp edges of furniture or a hard floor and tell her that she needed to calm down and that mummy would come back when she had calmed down. Then I would walk away, if she followed I wouldn't give her attention I would let her get it out of her system. I found it I tried to calm her in the midst of a tantrum, or hold her down or even talk to her it would cause her to get more frazzled and then the uncontrollable sobbing would start which isn't nice. Once she had calmed down I would give her a big cuddle, ask her if she felt better and tell her she was a good girl for calming down. Paris only ever had a few tantrums and I think this is as a result of our technique. This might not work for everyone but it certainly worked for us.

Goodluck! And if you want to know anything else you know where I am

*hugs*
Cailin