How did you decided what your parents would be called as grandparents?
This baby isn't even close to entering the world and DP and I are already arguing over what our parents are going to be known as.
We had a big blow up this afternoon about it. My mother and MIL are sorted, MIL wants to be known as Grandma, my mother wants Nan/ny/na. Easy! The problem lies in what we want our fathers to be known as. DP wants his father to be Pa. "Grandma, Grandpa, its traditional. So your dad must be Pop, as your mum is Nan. Traditional."
The thing is, my father has for years and years said he wants to be a Pa. He and my mother divorced when I was younger, and he became a step-father to his partners 3 daughters. He's been their main & close father figure for the past 15-16 years, they are so close the daughters call him Dad. Which I have no problems with at all, I never have. I am very close to my step-sisters and step-mother. One of dad's step-daughters has had a baby, his now 15months or so. And he knows my father as Pa. Even though Dad's not technically his grandfather. I have no probs with that at all either, as I know I will still be giving Dad his first "real" grandchild. DP though thinks thats just plain wrong and weird for this little boy to call my father Pa as they are not related. No amount of explaining the situation has him understand it at all.
DP refuses to have FIL known as Pop, as "thats not traditional! He WILL be Pa". I have a Nan & Pop, and a Nan & Pa, so told him I've never known "traditional" and dont have a problem with having two Nans or two Pa's or a Nan & Pa or a Gran & Pop. I never got my two nans confused (LOL) growing up. But he wont budge. He got pretty annoyed at me tonight about it and snapped "Whatever just have it any way YOU want then!".
Idk, I'm so confused. I dont know how to work this out. I wouldn't even know how to approach my dad and say "FIL wants to be Pa, so I'm afraid your going to have to be Pop. DP doesnt care that your already known as Pa because the baby isn't even your real grandchild so you shouldn't have any problems with this."
Any outside thoughts? It's ok if you think I'm approaching this wrong and should agree with DP If you do think that though, any advice on how I can speak to my father about it?
And sorry this is so long!! Kudos if you get all the way through it
DD's grandparents chose what they wanted to be called. MIL is Nanna...and I'm still not totally sure what my parents want to be called as they've never actually said
i don't think there's anything wrong with having two Pa's. to avoid confusion you could always call them Pa [surname].
Huge 's We left the grandparents to decide. My Dad has decided he wants to be called "Grumps" until he's "old enough to be a Grandad" lol, my step- mum is "Nanna Ann", my Biological mum, MIL and FIL still cant decide what they want to be called "because they are not old enough" to be any of the traditional names so have been labeled "Gran" 's and "Grandpa". They've had 20months to decide and still haven't come up with anything so they can just suck it up. Lol
I would suggest making your DH tell your Dad he cant be "Pa" or ask him how you should do it, make him see it's not as easy as he's making it out to be. Would that make a difference or would he not really care?
Other than that hun I have no idea. He sounds like he's being a bit childish IMO. I hope you can sort something out.
When preg with DS1 my mum said she was going to be Nanna and Dad said Grandpa cool all good.
Mil and Fil were going to Oma and Opa (FIL is dutch) but a few weeks after DS1 born she decides she wants to be Nanna as a friend told her she should be grr and FIL decides grandpa!!! I wanted different from each other grrrr. MIL wants to be nanna first name where as I dont like kids using first names, I would be prefer nanna surname!!
My kids have Nanny, Nanny T, Granddad and Granddad Rabbi....the mil wanted to be called her nickname but i said no way, as i wanted that level of respect to be there iykwim
good luck with it all....dont let it be a big thing between you and your dh
I agree, don't let it be a big thing for you and DH. You may well find that your kids decide this for themselves anyway.
I call my parents, who DS sees regularly, granma and grandad. DS calls them "gee-gee" and "do-do". And DH's parents are "gee-gee bok-bok" and "do-do bok-bok" (the bok-bok is for the chickens at the place we were staying when we visited DH's family last year)
My parents wanted to be called OB1 and OB2. I will leave it to your imagination to figure out what the OB stands for... I was not impressed.
So anyway, the moral of this story is, you never quite know what you might end up with.
We are going through this too - DH's parents are already Nanny and Poppy, so they get to hang on to those. Maybe not "traditional" but I really want this baby to be close to its cousins, and part of that is calling the grandparents the same name.
The issue? My mum can't handle anything that makes any recognisable connection to the word grandmother. Nanna, Nanny, Gran, Grandma, they're all out. I think she might be pushing for "Ma" but I think it's silly.
I don't know whether that really contributes much! I would tell your DH to stick "tradition" as it's a flimsy tradition anyway.
For a while there I had Oma and Opa (Oma died this year), Nanna and her longterm partner <firstname>, and my parents ended up Little Grandma and Grandpa without any planning. My partner's mother has picked her own title for herself and her husband, and his father hasn't picked one for him and his wife. We don't see them often enough for them to be called anything other than their firstnames, although I know their other grandchild uses their proper grandparent titles. We see grandma and grandpa quite a lot though - the DDs think Grandpa is the Best Thing In The Universe
I don't know if DD#1 sees her grandmother on my ex's side, I certainly never hear about it. Last time I checked my ex was very much estranged from his mother and stepfather, which does increase the available pool of grandparent titles ...
Oh man where to begin! Growing up I had a grandma & grandad my mums parents, pop & (first name) my dads dad & wife and narnee my dads mum who died before I was born & ma my mum grandma.
We are still figuring out way every1 is/will be called by DS... atm we have pretty much decided on grandma/granny and grandpa/pa (first name) for my mum & partner. Nanny & grandpa (first name) for DF parents and my niece & nephew already call my dad & partner poppy & nanna so we will stick with that for them.
It does makes life difficult when u have my mum, DF mum & SIL (who is pg) mum ALL HAVING THE SAME FIRST NAME! SIL family normally use nanna as well so we could end up with 3 Nanny/nanna is 1 extended family...
My fav nickname in our family was 1 of my cousins deciding pops name was boydie....cos he had a bird.... poor bloke went from being called grandfather by the older cousins to pop cos grandfather was too stuffy (blame my dad 4 that 1) to boydie in the space of 10 years lol
how to decide what to call grandparents
If you do think that though, any advice on how I can speak to my father about it?
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's We left the grandparents to decide. My Dad has decided he wants to be called "Grumps" until he's "old enough to be a Grandad" lol, my step- mum is "Nanna Ann", my Biological mum, MIL and FIL still cant decide what they want to be called "because they are not old enough" to be any of the traditional names 
marcellus, your DS is a crack-up!
so we could end up with 3 Nanny/nanna is 1 extended family...
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