Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 19 to 36 of 50

Thread: how to decide what to call grandparents

  1. #19

    Default

    I say Grandparents' choice. I had three grandads and four grandmas growing up (great-grandparents, we never bothered with the great all the time). Easy: use the last names. Grandma and Grandad N, Grandma B, Grandma and Grandad H, and Grandma and Grandad M.

    Mum decided to be Grandma B, as we knew Dad's Grandma B well, even though she admitted a year later she wanted to be Nanna. PiL were Grandma and Grandad anyway, but DS calls my parents Ninna (short for Nanna Ninni - Ninny being a pet name from her little bother) and Lan-Lan (I don't understand that one either). We just use last names when talking about grandparents (or unusual pet names). I was never confused and DS doesn't seem to be either. I'm going to be Granny when I have grandchildren, stuff what DS/DiL/DS's PiLs want.



    If your DH is confused by it, suggest he grows up and gets the mentality of a toddler.

    I mean, what on earth will he do if there's another child in the school with the same first name as your child?

  2. #20

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    victoria
    Posts
    436

    Default

    Thank you so so so much ladies for all your wonderful advice. I'm glad you all say it doesnt matter and to let them decide, honestly hadn't thought of letting them decide as DP came out guns blazing lol. I admittedly I'm glad to read some of you think DP was being a bit silly, LOL, just good to know I'm not the only one thinking it

    I spoke to him last night after reading all these wonderful replies and tried to sell him the let them decide idea LOL. "DP, you wont BELIEVE the AWESOME advice and help I've had about our earlier argument!!!!! Like, it's solves the problem once and for all!!!! We let THEM decide what they want to be called, it's their right to seeing as they are becoming grandparents for the first time." Lol it sounded like a sales pitch. He went all quiet and then muttered "Well, I really dont mind what they are called. But thats a good idea, lets just do that." I didn't bother mentioning what a child he'd been earlier about it, not worth the fight lol.

    And I also told him bubs would find his/her own name for them, they could all end up something different! I also explained why my dad is a pa, Kim I used your brilliant line "families are made of always love not always blood". DP really understood after that, so I think I've been able to knock some silliness out of him and replaced it with sense lol.

    I really cant thank everyone enough for taking the time to reply and sharing your own stories. I could have let this go and not bother about it for a while yet, but it was one of those things that was niggling away at the back of my mind driving me nuts

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Out North, Vic
    Posts
    8,538

    Default

    I don't see why you can't have 2 pa's both my granparents were nanna and pop.

    My poor girls are going to be so confused, my parents are seperate so we have Nanny & Poppy (mum & step dad), Poppy & Oma (dad & stepmum) and Nanna & Grandpa (pa).
    Each of mine got to choose what they were called and it was based around what my nieces and nephews already called them.
    My stepmum is dutch and my brothers daughter does not call her nan or oma. i did not think this was appropraite as my stepmum raised us and although she is not MUM to us she is a major part of our lives... i gave her the choice, you pick an aussie version (ie nanna, nanny etc) or Oma.. she picked Oma.

    I say you let them pick their own, if there are two Pa's it means 2 people get to be excited when they say there name rather than your child having to learn more

    GL with it hun...

  4. #22

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Brisbane - where it is never like it should be.
    Posts
    3,411

    Default

    My mum is Grammy to my nephew cause she thought she was to young to be Grandma and my nan is Nan. DP parents have 2 grankids already and i think they are Grandma and Pa. Im not sure. I guess we will find out when we get there to spring this wonderful surprise on them in 2 weeks.

  5. #23

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    867

    Default

    My Dad and my brothers FIL both were called Poppy when his children were born. One was Poppy John (my dad) and one was Poppy Morrie (in-law). Worked OK for us.

  6. #24

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    2,890

    Default

    My mum wants to be called Glamma as she says she is too young to be a grangma! although she is very much looking forward to it LOL

  7. #25

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,991

    Default

    I agree with a few of the other posters that it's the grandparents choice.

    That said, I really wanted my MIL to me Oma and I said things like "Oh, you'll be Oma now!" so I didn't really let it her be choice. But she was thrilled to be Oma so there was no issue anyway.

    With my Dad he was already Grandpa out of a discussion with my sister who had his first grandchild. I wasn't sure if he really wanted to be Grandpa so I told him he could choose something else for our son if he wanted but he was happy to go with it. He would much prefer just his first name I think so he doesn't care about what title he gets.

  8. #26

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    Posts
    3,963

    Default

    i agree... it's up to the grandparents to be to decide what they like to be called, and not the parents unfortunately! I can't see why there can't be two "pa's" tho

    I have a nana and pop and both sides and we tell the difference by calling them their nick name with it... eg, my mums mum is nana merilla XD
    Maybe you could suggest the same? You could have a Pa John or something...

    Jackson has the same. Then my parents are Nan (or Nan-G XD) and Gop (Grumpy Old Pop - it's a bit of a running joke... because my dad thought he was too young to be a pop, however he adores DS now!)
    DH's side, his great grandad is "pop pop" and DH's parents are just nana and pop...

    good luck! but I'd say just leave it to the grandparents!

  9. #27

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    whoop whoop or not, not sure yet!!!
    Posts
    1,347

    Default

    i had two grandmas and two grandads growing up - differentation was by surname when necessary.

    we now have two grandads a grandma and a nanna (who hates nanny cause it makes her think the kids are calling her a goat - which is amusing cause guess what all mine have called her initially (due to speech ability) - nanny. No confusions even from a young age although sometimes they don't use the surname for the grandads they just say nannas grandad or grandmas grandad if they need to differentiate

    its not something I was precious about it so it didn't worry me all that much. it is obviously important to both of you for different (rightly or wrongly) reasons so some more calm discussion is probably in order. Ours were chosen by the grandparents themselves (and in turn the children in their ability to say them) and I'm of the opinion unless there are really good reasons this is appropriate. Obviously two of the same name (in your case Pa) I don't see a problem or that they need to "match" We do have all the same names throughout each family though so they are all called the smae thing by each grandchild.

  10. #28

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    SE suburbs, Vic
    Posts
    1,377

    Default

    MIL & FIL are grandma & papa (same as with their other grandkids)
    my mum is nanna (because she couldnt make up her mind & thats what stuck) & her partner is Da (he isnt related to our kids but we wanted him to have something)
    My father is nothing, he doesnt make an effort, has only seen DD twice & I dont think he even knows about DS, so he isnt known as anything

  11. #29

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    North Haven, NSW
    Posts
    3,474

    Default

    We asked our parents what they would like to be called

  12. #30

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Lalor, VIC
    Posts
    5,051

    Default

    I had two "Nan and Pa"s growing up.

    My kids, as much as I hate it myself, are going to be calling Scott's father "Granddad" because that's what he called his pa. I think anything other than "Nan & Pa" just sounds weird!

    On your point - I don't understand how "Pa" is more formal/respectful than "Pop" in your case. Shouldn't your hubby be pushing for "Grandpa" if he wants that? They're two different things to me... Or did I read it wrong?

  13. #31

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Sydney NSW
    Posts
    4,837

    Default

    Even though my mum was Grandma DD1 used to call her Mum-ma and DD2 said mum-mum. I don't know if she would've stayed those names because she died when DD2 was only 2 but it was lovely.

  14. #32

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Sunny Qld
    Posts
    14,683

    Default

    Yeah I'd go with letting the grandparents decide!! That way, no arguments

    My mum and my brothers MIL are both nanny for my brother's kids - but one is lolly nanny.. and the other (my mum) is tractor nanny.. bahahaha... guess you can tell which one gives them lollies and which one has a tractor!!! LOL

    But for my kids, we let DH's parents pick what they wanted to be called, so they preferred grandma and grandad.. and my mum is nanny, stepfather is poppy - and my dad is poppy as well. if the kids get confused, we just say mummy's daddy when we are being specific about which poppy we are talking about.

  15. #33

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night
    Posts
    2,794

    Default

    DH's parents (who are separated) are Pa and Nanna, mainly because both of their parents were known as Pa & Nanna to my DH & BIL. My parents are Grumpy & Gran. My mum decided very early on (like when my sister and I got our own pets) that she was going to be Gran. When my sister was pregnant with DD1 we all joked that dad should be called "Grumpy" because he has a bit of a grumpy personality and he loved the idea and it stuck.

    I think letting them decide is best, or going with family tradition. I've never like the idea of both sets of grandparents being called the same thing, but now that I'm older I've discovered that it's very common.

  16. #34

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    736

    Default

    Can they both be pa?

    As a kid, both of my grandmothers were gran-ma. It was never a problem.

    My MIL once told me when we have kids, she wants her and her husband to be coco and pop. OMG... I think I will have something to say about being called coco haha

  17. #35

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    1,184

    Default

    I agree, let the grandparents decide! However, If your husband is still unhappy, his parents can be called Grandma & Grandpa and yours Nana & Pa (not Grandpa). That way the kids (and you) will know exactly who you are talking about. Otherwise it's gonna have to be Grandpa Fritz (haha, just making up names here to make a point) and Grandpa Bill. We do that back in Germany with no issues. I have an Oma Meta and an Oma Anni (Annemarie), as well as an Opa Wolf (Wolfgang) and an Opa Theo (Theodor). We just shorten the firstname if it's too long lol. Most languages only use one description for the grandparents, and they all manage fine. Maybe explain that to your husband. Tell him to stop being so Aussie If he wants to be sooooo traditional then they should be called Grandfather and Grandmother anyway, right .

  18. #36

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    in the eye of a toddler tornado
    Posts
    2,450

    Default

    DD has resolved this issue for us now by making up her own names for them.
    FIL is Dad-dad, MIL is Pippa, my Mum is Hummy (no idea where that came from) and my dad is Papa. My stepmum hasn't really been given a name as we haven't been seeing them that often.
    Mum is pretty stoked about being Hummy

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •