Writing this in a hurry so forgive randomness.

Thank you ladies - all good thoughts/advice.

Generally, I absolutely agree that an apology is pointless unless it's heartfelt. I guess in this case I felt it was babysteps with DSD and at least if I got her to say sorry she may realise it's not that hard and make her more inclined to say sorry in future to other people when she's done the wrong thing. I totally agree that it's a learnt behaviour - her mom absolutely refuses to apologise and her dad (DP) is not crash hot at it either (though he is getting better). So in that respect, I feel that it's not totally her fault for not being able to take responsibility for her actions because her role models have not been great. Hence, the reason I think it's important that I try to show her that it is.

I also completely agree that if her actions/behaviour was showing that she was taking responsibility for her behaviour/life then this would not be a big deal. I'd pass it off as a glitch and move on. Sadly, she is repeating all the same mistakes that have made her life difficult for years.

I guess if I was being completely honest, I know I'm not going to get an apology and I'm cool with that. Not having to deal with her at all actually works for me and in that sense I'm really enjoying having the boundary so maybe I should just be fair dinkum and say that I just want to maintain that boundary. That would probably be more honest of me. After several years of this, I'm just enjoying not having to deal with the dramas and actually be able to concentrate on my DDs.