Carmen2 - had exactly the same feelings about 6 months ago. So it was completely normal for us.....

I felt horrendously guilty about causing such upset for DD1 as she was completely beside herself. She'd sit on top of me all the time - even getting quite violent when I was trying to BF DD2. I was shocked as she had always been really wellbehaved and seemed quite excited about the prospect of a baby!

I guess the reality of their whole world changing is quite a difficult one to negotiate - especially that special bond with you. Daytime naps dissappeared here and we had huge problems with her going to bed at night also. She also didn't seem to realise that we were spending the majority of time and attention on her (poor DD2 still gets a bit ignored )

I had some great advice from a friend - she suggested we create a new bedtime ritual with myself and DD1 (who was ridiculously clingy and quite violent towards DD2 initially). No matter what we had 'special mummy and x time' and we jumped in bed and talked about how much I loved her still and that I wasn't leaving here - this was to try and get her inner dialogue going each time she felt left out and unhappy. The idea was that this 'special time' could then be used to describe times I was dedicating to her when bubs was asleep also. I was sceptical but it really has helped her calm down and be more positive about her new sister.

It is so hard to manage the anxst of the toddler and look after a newborn - let alone yourself so I had to ignore the housework etc and concentrate on enjoying the kids and looking after me - we have spent lots of time in the pram out in the sunshine despite being exhausted.

The good news is it was temporary - it has taken a while but 6 months later DD1 is definitely in love with her little sister (something I thought may never happen). We have had occasional outbursts still and they tend to be related to her wondering why she is not BF or has a sleeping bag - I have pulled out her baby photo album and she loves looking at herself as a baby too. We also have photos up of us all with her - it seems to reassure her of her special place in our family. She also has her baby to look after and feed.

Take care - it will pass - you just have to remember to celebrate your successes along the way and be kind to yourself.