Motherless Mothers

[Snacks]

Thanks, it does help so much to read your stories & to know you understand.
I am so sorry to those of you who lost your mums so young. I just can't imagine.

Lime, another friend says she still talks to her mum, some 25 odd years on. I find it hard to do but like your voicemail thing, I keep revisiting my text messages, looking all the way back to a couple of years ago when I got this phone. She wrote me a couple of letters too, when she knew she was going to die. But I prefer to read the texts - it sounds just like the normal her ITMS.

I think probably I am trying to rush things. I understand (from some IRL friends, including my DH, and from your thread here) that no matter the time that passes the void will remain. Probably counseling won't help me, I just want to make it feel better.

I remember my Mum's grief at losing her mum when I was 3. One of my very first memories is of her crying in the kitchen and my feeling distressed because I couldn't help her. Phoebe is 3 as well. I wish she would remember her Grandma but I fear she is already forgetting, as I forgot. I wonder if it hurt my mum as it hurts me that she doesn't remember. Mum adored her grandkids. She had all the time in the world for them and was so understanding, even when she was so ill and feeling weak and terribly sick.

Anyway, rambling now. Thanks for your kindness. I hope I can be a support to you all in your darker times too.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Oh snacks I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum on 16 April last year after a mere 4 month battle with the big C. If it wasn't for the amazing support I have got in here and in particular one beautiful lady I would have gone crazy. We have just passed the 1 year anniversary and it still feels so unreal as in not happened.

I hope you are going ok

[Beautiful Disaster]

I want my mummy

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

I want my mummy

wish i could help you more hun sending some virtual i know they're not the same though

[Beautiful Disaster]

Thanks G. I can't believe this one thing has me questioning EVERYTHING about my life

[Khaleesi]

[LimeSlice]

Thanks G. I can't believe this one thing has me questioning EVERYTHING about my life

Seems to do that. Was pretty radical for me. Hope you find the answers you want to hear. xx

[Beautiful Disaster]

Happy Mother's Day special ladies hope today is gentle on you all xx

[Snacks]

Mum's facebook page is gone. Is kind of funny how upset I am about this. It's not like anything's changed on it since her funeral. It was just something I'd pop onto every now and again, look at posts she made last year. My way of "keeping in touch", like her text messages. I had no idea it'd be automatically deleted after a time. Her profile pic was her with my niece hanging over her shoulder.
Today is Mum & Dad's anniversary. I miss my Dad too - he isn't really there at the moment, needing his space. Just sent him a text to tell him I love him. Not sure what else to do.

[wysiwyg]

Hugs and more hugs Snacks - I would have had no idea they would delete it too. Maybe you can ask for it to be reinstated.

[Snacks]

Thanks mate. Ah, in the scheme of things it's not a big deal - there were no photos on there that I don't have stored elsewhere. I just miss her voice and in a way, her 'voice' was on there.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Hey snacks my mums is still there but maybe that's cause I log in every now and then.

[Snacks]

Do you mean you log in as her? Or you visit her page? I'm beginning to think my Dad closed it.

[LimeSlice]

Do you mean you log in as her? Or you visit her page? I'm beginning to think my Dad closed it.

I think this is much more likely - pages don't just get deleted, you have to deactivate them. :/

[Snacks]

Dammit.
Yep. He asked my brother to remove it. OMG, I am so angry and upset. He wasn't even ****ing on there before she died. what ****ing right has he??

[meow]

Negotiating your grief along with everyone else's grief can be tough. Your Dad must have found seeing her page really upsetting, while you found it helpful. I'd be honest and let him know it upset you to have it removed so he understands he needs to talk to you before decisions are made. It might be a good time to discuss any other memories you have and perhaps division of some of your Mum's belongings so you have some things with you that are meaningful to you but may be overlooked by someone else?

[Snacks]

That was absolutely my thought process, meow. I couldn't talk last night but responded to a quite business-like email he'd sent a couple of weeks ago talking about estate etc. He had said in that email if we wanted anything of hers we should let him know. I already have specific things that she gave me before she died so I hadn't responded but last night I suddenly realised that his 'disposal' of her page (and it can't have troubled him too much - he wasn't friends with her as he only created his account after she died) might mean he could bin stuff without checking with us first. I was very polite and requested that anything of hers such as clothing or papers she had written be hung onto until we have had a chance to see it.
I wish I knew how to negotiate with him. He is so... absent.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

i know we're all at different stages but just checking in to see how everyone is going?

my anxiety is through the roof atm I'm at the age (36) that my mum was diagnosed with throat and stomach cancer and September 29 marks the day it was officially diagnosed.

anyway just getting my fears out, thanks for listening/reading