At my wits end...

[MrsFabuloso]

Thanks for the support again ladies, I really appreciate it, it means alot.

I have been feeling better the past few days. Though today may be a bit of a struggle after having two really abd nights with the kids and DH on night shifts. I really feel it when I don't get much sleep. Though the kids have been pretty good, especially Lil. She really feels my moods which sucks. My mum came over unexpectedly the other day and helped me clean up the place. It really makes a difference for me and how I feel. Not so chaotic, and disorganised.

Clare, thankyou for those websites, I looked on them and I have a fair fwe of the idicators for depression and PND, so I guess I will have to go to the dr. I think I should be able to self manage it with the support of DH and my family (something I will have to work on). I'm not worried if I have depression. I know it's fixable and usually not permanent. And I know why it's happening, I have had huge changes happen in my life having two kids in two yrs!

Janie, Amy and I are going to be meeting up again and undoubtedly have a big chat while the girls run riot! I wish you could come over too (I would love to meet you, not to mention my house is particularly clean to day, LOL!!!!)

Mrsmac, thankyou. I know everyone has tough times with managing everything (kids, home, yada yada) it's one of my flaws- being a perfectionist (apparently a trait of being a virgo). If I can't do things 110% I tend not to do it half arsed, so it doesn't get done kwim? I'm sure Amy wouldn't care less about my pigsty, but I do...
We would love to move, but at the moment it would be at a loss for us to sell . We will be moving one day though i hate living here.

Lulu, I know about the food artistes...I have one
I have tried a fair few things with DD. And yep, I can't do the same thing too many times or she gets bored. Done the magazines and playdough. She loves messy play, but when I gave her paint to finger paint she looked at me like I was crazy! I give her flour and water to play with and coloured water and containers. The rice and tea set are a great ideas and she will love them! (I think a teaset for chrissy is in order...) Thanks.
Nope, not too proud to use the tv sometimes. Though she doesn't really watch it. Maybe for 5-10mins at a time, which is better than nothing I guess. She will usually only watch when on my lap though, but it is a rest for me when Im really tired and over things (ie, her!). LOL @ the facial tics....mine are brought on by In the Night Garden....if I ever see that freaking ninkynonk again....well someone might get hurt!!
As for DH well, he really is supportive, just in other ways. He doesn't handle my emotions well and hates it when I cry. I don't help the issue by finding things hard to talk about and explain, therefore not talking. He's really feeling things too and I think he's just overwhelmed. He brought me flowers the other day, which was really lovely (though all I thought of was that there's $30 we can't afford). He likes to be constructive and do things. He gets up with DD when he's not working and lets me sleep and takes her out for the day, stuff like that.

Fiona, yeah, I know it's worth the effort when I get out. I really try to go out when DH is working at least to mums or the shops. I have a few places I can go to, like my mums, my grandmas, shops....but it really is sooooo much effort and when I'm feeling down the benefit isn't what I'm thinking of, kwim??

Mel, hehe, wish you lived closer too...we do seem to have pretty similar lives. Would love to live on the sunnycoast and may well do one day, but not just yet. We might be going up that way in the new yr though to visit DH's family. But it feels good knowing i'm not alone.