hi - thanks folks - it's my birthday on wedensday, so they're all coming over, so I'm going to ask then. Nicely, of course, and see what eventuates.

Mum had my brother and I when she was 17 and 19 and the whole situation with her mother back then wasn't the best. So I can see that there might be issues stemming from that.

*sigh*

thanks again,
Barb.