Now you have children

[soul]

Now you have a child/ren how has life changed for you?

What are the positive sides of that change and what are the negative or lesser changes for you?

[*charmalea*]

um ... ive become more undersatanding of ppl with childerens "excuses" ie : we have to leave early its nap time .. etc ..

i have meant to be more frugal ..
i have learnt to appreciate my dh more ...
i have learnt to not be so judgemental ...
i have learnt to control myself and not be selfish ..
i am also more giving and empathetic ...

and also taught my self not to be so hung up on my body now that it has housed one of the most precious thing in the world ...


and the negative .... ummmmm theres nothing really ... i would never go back to the daily grind of the 9-5 .... even tho my days never start of end , theres just a small patch in between ....

but the lack of energy is what makes me a bit fed up some times .. also being pg has had lasting effects on my body i am reallt negative about .. .

[soul]

awwwwwww what a yummy mummy you are!!! You should be proud of who you are!

[Antheia]

I have learnt not to care when another baby is crying in a shopping centre or restaurant. I used to think omg take it away, now i do really empathise for them and know exactly how they feel!

I have learnt the amazing love a mother has for her child and will go to the ends of the earth and back for my children.

Negatives would be having children so young, i was only 17 and i lost all but 1 of my friends and it was really hard not having that support netswork. However in saying that being a young mum is also a positive because i don't feel to old to run around after ym kids and pregnancy is a breeze. Also i will probaby end up a young grandmother and i love the fact that i'll still have energy to run around after my grandchildren. My MIL is only 53 and she has a ball with the kids and i would love to have that to when i'm older.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Positives include I get to shop in the village by day instead of dash round the supermarket in town on Saturday - so much more social and DS is so admired. I get job satisfaction every minute of every day from my lovely lad. Life is less of a rush. I cook more. I'm happier. I have made loads of new friends.

Negatives include no real sleep for a very long time, haven't shared a bed with DH for ages (I know this will change soon, just we're finding it hard), people are more judgemental, the house is covered with baby toys, grandparents are to much take-take-take and I'm still too fat.

The main positive is my son, whom I love so much, and that outweighs all the down sides.

[Roryrory]

Positives are:
- everything I suspected about DH has proven correct - he is the most attentive, involved and caring father I have come across
- seeing my little family take shape and realising all out long-held dreams
- my baby boy and seeing how much joy he brings to all of us

Negatives are:
- loss of income due to me not working full time
- but that's it!

[Trillian]

The biggest positive for me is that DH and I have created together four unique people with their own individuality - it's still pretty amazing to me that we actually have children (the whole 'created life' thing). And hopefully we are doing a good enough job with them that they in turn will make their own valid contributions as adults. Plus there is the unconditional love between a parent and their child.

There are also the small things that I didn't have the time to appreciate before I had children too - like others have said, flustered parents with upset children etc. Being a SAHM and being part of the kids pre school and school communities.

The only negative is sometimes I feel like I have lost "me" - the old me who used to just go out and do whatever, whenever and spend her money how she wanted. but thats a rather small part of who I was before anyway, it's more that now I have 5 other people dependent on me to be there for them I feel the loss of that more accutely kwim?

One other thing is having gone from someone's child to someone's parent, I truly understand what it was like for my parents and the 'grind' of being an adult - paying bills, making sure there food on the table and clothes on your back sort of thing.

[widdly]

positives
-my beautiful boy of course
-seeing my DH as a wonderful father, better than i imagined him to be
-learning to see the joy in tiny things like wind blowing through the trees
-learning that there is more to life than drinking and partying on the weekends
-becoming less judemental of the way others parent thier children

negatives
-my new, not so great body (but i will get tone back into it!)i hope
-forgetting who "i" am
-always putting myself last
-lack of freedom and money
-more things to worry and feel anxious about

positive/negative
-realising since Archie's birth that i am a completely different person who wants completely different things from life that i thought i wanted

[krysalyss]

Positives: -
Having such an amazing little boy in our lives
Realising how lucky I am to have DH
Being able to show him everything in the world for the first time
Having someone to kiss over and over (and theres nothing he can do about it!)
Watching all of his 'firsts'. (Two nights ago he started sleeping on his side. oooh soo cute)

Negatives
- The lack of sleep
- Getting advice is hard as every bub is different
- Always getting the 'my baby did things this way'
- The instant mother guilt and worry

[Mrs Jak]

The positives far outway the negatives but a huge negative for me is that it makes me more vulnerable.

Before you have kids you only have to worry about yourself but when you have them you realise that it's for life and you will always worry about them, even when they are 50!!