The Parenting Wall of Shame...

[Willow]

DH use to work with a guy who told his DS and DD that when Mr Whippy plays music it means they've run out of icecream

When she was prg with her second set of twins (yeh, she has two sets ) my best friend used to tell her older two that her Nutri Grain was medicine to help the babies grow big and strong so she didn't have to share it with them LOL!

[Astrolady]

Kameron was misbehaving a few days before easter this year. He was really doing my head in. So I calmly picked up the phone and spoke to teh Easter Bunny to say Kameron didn't need eggs this year cause he was naughty. I then hung up the phone. Kameron heard let out a high pitched scream and burst into tears.

I had visitors as well at the time and they were gobsmacked that I did that ! LOL

[christy]

ROFL thats a classic Kat

[fionas]

I'm going to add my parents to this.

My sister and I had a rabbit each. One morning there was only one rabbit. They told us that the other one must have escaped.

Years later, they admitted THEY HAD SOLD IT TO A FRIEND BECAUSE THEY WERE SHORT OF CASH!

Shame, shame, shame.

[storm]

When they big 3 were little & would ask for the usual garbage I'd say to them "look, it's $300 no way. Really it was only $3, but back then they didn't know what the . meant. They still remember it too!! Dylan like to mention it when he visits.

[Lenny]

This should not be called the "parenting wall of shame" - this is a great thread full of "tips on what to do if..."

DS is a bit young yet, but I'll be remembering some of these for use later on!!

[Lulu]

OMG, I haven't laughed this hard in AGES

[Astrid]

Often we will have some chocolate with our night time cuppas and we make sure we get rid of all evidence before morning comes around. Well one night we forgot and left out an empty packet of clinkers. DD1 found it, gave me this upset/quizzical look and said "did you eat all the beans?" I could tell she was about to get very upset about not getting any. Very quickly I said "No, we did not eat them, I found that empty packet when I was cleaning" DH thankfully backed me up. Not quite sure if she really believed us, but it did stop a potential tantrum.

[aussienic]

One time my boys were being so loud and constantly yelling and I said.. If you keep yelling the yelling monster will come and get cross at you.. About 2 seconds later Ds2 yelled really loud and the front door slammed. they came running screaming and the wer eliterally shaking.. Boy I felt guilty then.. First and last time I have threatened a monster Damn it was funny though

I tell my kids that my sister has a direct line to Santa

On a trip to Ikea Ds 1 wanted to go into the glassed play area, Dh said that wasn't a playgrund those kids were for sale. and we didn't have enough money so we weren't going to buy one that day HAHA.. The looks he got then were priceless..

Ds 1 was in a foul mood and told me he was going to ring the police on me.. We were out driving at the time so I pulled up in front of the police station and said ok lets go.....

We have done the easter bunny one and Santa as well..

Ds 1 was around 4 and Dh rang him (pretending to be Santa) and told him if he didn't start being good to mummy (used the intercom thing on the phone) Then Santa wasn't going to come.. When Ds 1 got off the phone I asked him who it was He grinned and Saod Santa and that he is going to bring me lots and lots of toys.. So that one backfired..

hmm.. I think I am a bad parent I have so many more to add to the list

[Michelle71]

One time my boys were being so loud and constantly yelling and I said.. If you keep yelling the yelling monster will come and get cross at you.. About 2 seconds later Ds2 yelled really loud and the front door slammed. they came running screaming and the wer eliterally shaking.. Boy I felt guilty then.. First and last time I have threatened a monster Damn it was funny though

PMSL Nic That has just made my day!!

[Gigi]

my child is not verbal yet (only Mum and Dad are her only words) so i got nothing

just want to subscribe
this thread has actually made me LAUGH OUT LOUD

to all of you
LOVE YOUR WORK!
keep em coming

i really needed a good laugh, so thank you all SOOOOO much!

[MissWingBat]

I am PMSL too!!

Whenever I take my kids shopping, and they are playing up, when Woolies gets on the loudspeaker to say "Karen, to checkout 5", my boy says, What did the lady say?? And I say that lady said "Jamie, stop being naughty" So then when he sees a Woolies lady, he's like, I'm not naughty!! Whenever someone hears me telling him, they laugh. This works in every shop with a loud speaker.

Also our Woolies has a dodgy security thingy at the checkouts, so it beeps every minute or so. So he goes, What's that Beeping? I tell him it's a naughty boy alert, and it goes off whenever he's naughty. Stops him from touching EVERYTHING.

Also, did you know Santa has camera's in every light fitting? Santa can see you. Especially in the shops with the big dome ones - Santa can see you everywhere.... (freeeeaky....)

Few others:
Chewing gum makes you poo. Badly. And coke.
If you don't eat your dinner, you actually get smaller and smaller until you are so small, your teacher will not let you go to big school, but baby school, and then you have to wear nappies again (NO!!!!) So you have to keep eating to stay the same size, or bigger.
Policeman's will smack my bum for driving fast (imagine that on the side of the road!)
Bunnings is actually "The Bunny Shop", and no you can't play on the playground because some naughty boy did a pee-pee all over the slide and they have to wash it. (this is when I'm just rushing in to get 1 thing!!)
That works for all other playgrounds we don't want to go to that day (broken! Yuk!)

And - we have a direct line to any of my kids friends parents - if they play up, I pick the phone up and call them to tell them that they are too naughty to be coming over to play today (also works with Nanna's visits too).

I think I'm terrible.... But it works!!

[MissWingBat]

Oh and I forgot a really great one - if your child is really scared of monsters, and keep on getting upset every night, get a $1 water sprayer and print a picture of a monster to stick on it, and then fill it with water and maybe a few drops of lemon or euculyptus (so they don't suck it) and say it's monster spray (keep it up high if you don't trust them not to drink it...). Then you spray it under the beds and in their closets to get rid of the monsters! Just like fly spray!

[Aimz]

My Dad was offered a job un the US when I was 4 and my brother was 5. We had a dearly loved ****er spaniel named Mungo who was really old and obviously couldn't come with us.

One day before we left for the US Dad told us we had to say goodbye to Mungo because he was going to live on a farm where there were HUUUUUGE paddocks for him to run around in and lots of magpies for him to chase. He was going to have a FANTASTIC time!!

My parents still maintain to this day (I'm 23 and my brother is 24) that Mungo went to a picturesque farm

Poor Mungo

[Janie]

Oh Amy, that is so sad! Will they ever give it up do you think?

I'm loving this thread, laughing out aloud here too!

[Aimz]

Oh Amy, that is so sad! Will they ever give it up do you think?

My brother and I grilled them over Christmas lunch after a few bottles of wine and they stood their ground!! Mungo went to a farm!!! It's funny because it was only a few years ago that I went "Hang on a sec!!! As if!" - it worked right up until I was about 18!

[Rouge]

Paris' finger smells REALLY bad if she's told a lie. Strangely though she won't let me smell it sometimes...

I remember reading the funniest story one day. A little kid was in a line at a bank with his mum, and he was chucking a major wobbly. He looked up and saw the security camera and stood very still. He then turned to his mother and said "Mummy is that how Santa watches us?" She took it and ran with it. And after that no matter where they were all she needed to do was point out the camera and he was as good as gold.

[Turkish Delight]

Fantastic thread topic. Love it!

When Devrim was naughty (he doesn't fall for it anymore though, shame!) i used to pick up the phone dial an absurd number and talk to the police telling them to come and get Devrim because he was naughty. Mind you i was speaking in Turkish as that was the language he would understand then. I would get him to listen to the voice over on the other side saying "p o 7 8 3 your call could not be connected, please check the number and try again". He wouldn't know what they were saying, he thought i really called the police and would behave. He never questioned why they never came though.

Now he uses that scare tactic on us when we misbehave by him. He says "i'm gonna call the police and tell them that my mummy and daddy are being naughty and to come and get them!"