I am PMSL too!!

Whenever I take my kids shopping, and they are playing up, when Woolies gets on the loudspeaker to say "Karen, to checkout 5", my boy says, What did the lady say?? And I say that lady said "Jamie, stop being naughty" So then when he sees a Woolies lady, he's like, I'm not naughty!! Whenever someone hears me telling him, they laugh. This works in every shop with a loud speaker.

Also our Woolies has a dodgy security thingy at the checkouts, so it beeps every minute or so. So he goes, What's that Beeping? I tell him it's a naughty boy alert, and it goes off whenever he's naughty. Stops him from touching EVERYTHING.

Also, did you know Santa has camera's in every light fitting? Santa can see you. Especially in the shops with the big dome ones - Santa can see you everywhere.... (freeeeaky....)

Few others:
Chewing gum makes you poo. Badly. And coke.
If you don't eat your dinner, you actually get smaller and smaller until you are so small, your teacher will not let you go to big school, but baby school, and then you have to wear nappies again (NO!!!!) So you have to keep eating to stay the same size, or bigger.
Policeman's will smack my bum for driving fast (imagine that on the side of the road!)
Bunnings is actually "The Bunny Shop", and no you can't play on the playground because some naughty boy did a pee-pee all over the slide and they have to wash it. (this is when I'm just rushing in to get 1 thing!!)
That works for all other playgrounds we don't want to go to that day (broken! Yuk!)

And - we have a direct line to any of my kids friends parents - if they play up, I pick the phone up and call them to tell them that they are too naughty to be coming over to play today (also works with Nanna's visits too).

I think I'm terrible.... But it works!!