The Parenting Wall of Shame...

[storm]

When they big 3 were little & would ask for the usual garbage I'd say to them "look, it's $300 no way. Really it was only $3, but back then they didn't know what the . meant. They still remember it too!! Dylan like to mention it when he visits.

[Lenny]

This should not be called the "parenting wall of shame" - this is a great thread full of "tips on what to do if..."

DS is a bit young yet, but I'll be remembering some of these for use later on!!

[Lulu]

OMG, I haven't laughed this hard in AGES

[Astrid]

Often we will have some chocolate with our night time cuppas and we make sure we get rid of all evidence before morning comes around. Well one night we forgot and left out an empty packet of clinkers. DD1 found it, gave me this upset/quizzical look and said "did you eat all the beans?" I could tell she was about to get very upset about not getting any. Very quickly I said "No, we did not eat them, I found that empty packet when I was cleaning" DH thankfully backed me up. Not quite sure if she really believed us, but it did stop a potential tantrum.

[Nadine216]

DD has learned to ask for cookies. So now I have learned to re-pack the cookies in tupperware (and keep them out of sight) and keep the empty box on the shelf. When she ask for a cookie at an inappropriate time (before dinner) I would just say that it's all done and hand her the empty box to investigate. She just exept that her mommy won't trick her and goes back to playing

Love the thread!!

[diva det]

We say that the birds work for santa and easter bunny
the birds are spying on them and go back and tell santa if they have been good or not
when they start to ark up, we tell them to look out the windows and see the birds looking at them and reminding them that they will go back and tell Santa!
It works a treat!

[~Kim~]

This thread is fantastic!!! Some creative minds out there!

I'm going to add my mum.

Our house used to back onto a dairy. On the far horizon was the house and it was so far away, you could only just make it out as a house. My mum used to tell my brother it was 'Mr Wood's Naughty Boys Home". Back then when you dialed 244 on the telephone and hung up, it rang back. So, when my brother was being horrendous she'd diall 244 and speak to Mr Wood.
Invariably he'd 'ring her back when he had a spot'. Funny how that was always straight away.
So she'd pack his little bag with a couple of singlets and walk out to the driveway with him to await Mr Wood.
Of course he always promised to be good.....

Poor kid - talk about abuse lol. He didn't find out their secret until he was 13!

[tsgirl]

This thread is tooo funny

I'm writing them all down for future use

[paradise lost]

Not shameful perhaps but i am forever stretching reality with no regard for facts...the other day DD asked what a rainbow was and i told her the river had sneezed

Up until recently i used to keep "mama's cereal" (Crunchy nut) and "DD's cereal" (bran flakes) in the cupboard and she would NEVER ask for mama's cereal. Now of course she's discovered it and asks all the time! LOL.

I have also pretended i can't open bottles, cans, packets etc. LOL. Also anything she doesn't or might not like gets the prefix "lovely" or favourite. She was telling my friend the other day about "DD's lovely fish soup"...

Bx

[Lisa]

My older kids always used to believe that cars couldn't start unless everyone had seatbelts on. They figured out that it wasn't true a few years ago when they saw my BIL start the car without putting his seatbelt on first.
But you know, my kids never had to be told to put their belts on, they just did it.

[Jas]

lol well I don't have any to add to the thread yet but keep them coming!! And it the months and years to come I will have to remember to find this thread to let you know what i come up with!!

[Nettie]

LOVE this thread! Well done Schmick!

My DS is too young to mess with his head yet (but looking forward to it ) but we have a number of nieces & nephews which we've tormented for years.

Once my nephew didn't want to be outside with the rest of us but was only about 3 and couldn't be trusted inside on his own. So DH started saying 'did you see that shark in the lawn?' and kept him busy for hours with watching for the sharks in the lawn. It still gets talked about amonst the family!

DS also had the nieces almost convinced that he eats budgies & parrots... so they stopped asking if we wanted one!

Also, the kids favourite bunny rabbit escaped (or died - can't remember now) about a week before easter one year. SIL couldn't bring herself to tell the kids so she got DH to write a letter from the Easter Bunny saying that he needed their rabbit to help deliver the eggs this easter. The kids believed it so well that we had to write letters from the rabbit for about 5 years giving updates on how the rabbit was doing! DH is very creative and he did it up with glitter and stamped a bunny footprint in it and we put talcum powder around where it was left, etc.

I hope to do the one about 'the car won't start until the seatbelts are done up' too, but my MIL has a shocking habit of starting the car while she's standing outside of it and then puts on the seatbelt down the road while she's driving. I've tried to disuade her from doing this, but she's well set in her ways now! Maybe I'll be able to convince him that OUR car won't start...

[Tinsel]

I'm still getting over the Mr Whippy one - poor kids!
I love the seatbelt one too - must keep that up my sleeve.

A guy I used to work with would tell his children that the chocolate biscuits and ice cream had alcohol in them so they couldn't have any.

Nettie, what a sweet story about the rabbit.

[Michelle71]

One time my boys were being so loud and constantly yelling and I said.. If you keep yelling the yelling monster will come and get cross at you.. About 2 seconds later Ds2 yelled really loud and the front door slammed. they came running screaming and the wer eliterally shaking.. Boy I felt guilty then.. First and last time I have threatened a monster Damn it was funny though

PMSL Nic That has just made my day!!

[Gigi]

my child is not verbal yet (only Mum and Dad are her only words) so i got nothing

just want to subscribe
this thread has actually made me LAUGH OUT LOUD

to all of you
LOVE YOUR WORK!
keep em coming

i really needed a good laugh, so thank you all SOOOOO much!

[Aimz]

My Dad was offered a job un the US when I was 4 and my brother was 5. We had a dearly loved ****er spaniel named Mungo who was really old and obviously couldn't come with us.

One day before we left for the US Dad told us we had to say goodbye to Mungo because he was going to live on a farm where there were HUUUUUGE paddocks for him to run around in and lots of magpies for him to chase. He was going to have a FANTASTIC time!!

My parents still maintain to this day (I'm 23 and my brother is 24) that Mungo went to a picturesque farm

Poor Mungo

[MissWingBat]

I am PMSL too!!

Whenever I take my kids shopping, and they are playing up, when Woolies gets on the loudspeaker to say "Karen, to checkout 5", my boy says, What did the lady say?? And I say that lady said "Jamie, stop being naughty" So then when he sees a Woolies lady, he's like, I'm not naughty!! Whenever someone hears me telling him, they laugh. This works in every shop with a loud speaker.

Also our Woolies has a dodgy security thingy at the checkouts, so it beeps every minute or so. So he goes, What's that Beeping? I tell him it's a naughty boy alert, and it goes off whenever he's naughty. Stops him from touching EVERYTHING.

Also, did you know Santa has camera's in every light fitting? Santa can see you. Especially in the shops with the big dome ones - Santa can see you everywhere.... (freeeeaky....)

Few others:
Chewing gum makes you poo. Badly. And coke.
If you don't eat your dinner, you actually get smaller and smaller until you are so small, your teacher will not let you go to big school, but baby school, and then you have to wear nappies again (NO!!!!) So you have to keep eating to stay the same size, or bigger.
Policeman's will smack my bum for driving fast (imagine that on the side of the road!)
Bunnings is actually "The Bunny Shop", and no you can't play on the playground because some naughty boy did a pee-pee all over the slide and they have to wash it. (this is when I'm just rushing in to get 1 thing!!)
That works for all other playgrounds we don't want to go to that day (broken! Yuk!)

And - we have a direct line to any of my kids friends parents - if they play up, I pick the phone up and call them to tell them that they are too naughty to be coming over to play today (also works with Nanna's visits too).

I think I'm terrible.... But it works!!

[Janie]

Oh Amy, that is so sad! Will they ever give it up do you think?

I'm loving this thread, laughing out aloud here too!