Thank you all for your help!

Pegasus - I've found a site online that looks pretty fancy and modern so I'm thinking of calling them. I figure that like big ads in the yellowpages might mean they are sucessful, maybe big fancy webpages might mean the same

Fionas - I'm also going to look into the website you suggested as well. I like the idea of anything free (lol!), but also really like the idea of getting to talk to someone and work out if I am comfortable and trust them before committing to spending lots of money with them.

Lulu2 - Unfortunately the Ex is more than aware that her child support will go down. She works cash-in-hand so would never have to pay us child support, but the amount that we give her will half when she only has one of the boys living with her. She even had the balls to tell us that she relies on the child support to feed her and her new husband. I had to really bit my tongue not to yell at her that the child support is not there to feed them, it's for the children!! It's not our fault that they rely on the child support to pay the mortgage on the new house they bought...
Oops, didn't mean to rant. I just get really frustrated at times

Sammiejane - I actually really liked your idea about "forgetting" to change the child support until you could be sure that it's not just about the money. I wish the ex was stupid enough to fall for it, but she is way to smart when it comes to anything to do with losing money.
I definitely want to have something all down on paper before he comes to live with us. It would break my heart if after he came to live with us she yanked him back to get more money.
Oh, and the fact that kids at the age of 12 have the right to choose where they live is very very comforting. I think that's why the ex knows she can't fight this. It's been very obvious for years that DS1 wants to come live with us.

Raven - I hope it all works out well too! I just can't wait for him to live with us. I think it is going to be soooo good for him! I'd love DS2 to come too, but he's very attached to his mum, and I wouldn't want to upset that. But for DS1, he has conflicts with his mum and it seems unstable for him while living with her. Most of the time she is a great mum, but I just know in my heart that he will do better with us

Mellie - Thanks for the kind words!!!

I wish I could say that the money is not an issue. If we had lots of it, I wouldn't care if we just kept giving her the same amount as we did now, even after DS1 comes to live with us. We already give her more than the government says we should, plus we pay for half of most things (sports, school fees, uniforms, books etc...). Unfortunately we haven't won the lottery yet (always forget the buy that winning ticket ) and we want to buy our own house at some stage, plus with us trying to conceive we will hopefully have a baby soon and we'll be down to one salary. Hopefully the lawyers will give us some good news though!