SAHMotherhood: the work/play blurr...arrrggghhh!

[paradise lost]

I suffer it too Bath you definitely aren't alone!

THe way i (try to) combat it is by having running shortlists of things that i MUST do.

For instance everyday for DD i MUST:

-Make sure she has good nutritious food.
-Make sure she gets out in the fresh air, unless it is really TERRIBLE weather (if it's just raining we go a walk with her in the buggy to keep dry).
-Make sure she's read to several times.
-Make sure she doesn't feel neglected - she's quite vocal and can accept "mumma's busy honey" once or twice but the third time i have to drop whatever it is and give her attention.
-Take her to a toddler group once a week (usually we do 2, but 1 is my minimum)

for the house i MUST:
-Do the washing (once it mounts up it's terrible to sort out)
-Do the dishes (as above)

for me i MUST:
-Get on BB/internet at least a little (i'm a SSAHM - today i'd not have had ANY adult conversation if it weren't for the internet)
-Run or get to the gym, (unless it's Friday)

I tend to mix and match and mentally tick them off. If i get to bedtime without having read to her enough we have 4 or 5 books at bedtime. If i get to the end of the day and haven't done the dishes i put them to soak overnight and do them before breakfast the next day. I also don't always count playing with DD as "play" for me because often at 8.15am, as horrible as it makes me sound, i'd rather drink a coffee and stare out of the window than crawl around the floor with 3 teddies on my back...not always, but often. LOL.

I am excited to live with DP as i know his working hours will give me more structure (i.e. planning at least my getting up and cooking and so on around his day, and once i'm working again when DD is in nursery i'll have to get up and run in the early mornings to fit them in, and will have to be back for breakfast and to get a shower and get DD ready and so on and so on) and that will hopefully help. I don't ever get to lie in and always put DD to bed at 7.30pm but i can totally see how single SAHM's could end up letting their lifestyle slide and slide and slide...

Bx

[Bathsheba]

Oh thankyou girls! Y'know it has been such a release to just express my frustration and know that I've been heard! As I type (single fingered while BFing) I am trying to combine work and play... it sounds terrible to say that BF is work though... it's not really. Cai, you said it perfectly: I just need a chance to re-connect with myself... just a regular half hour where I know I can sit and think. Even as a child I would put myself in regular 'time out' just so I could process things.... I remember clearly needing time after school to draw. School was stressful for me and all I wanted was time alone to digest it. But mother would demand I go outside and get some fresh air... so I would end up playing with the neighbourhood kids... then I'd try again after dinner... and I'd often get that time before bed... afterwhich I'd go straight to sleep (my 4yo is the same, demands to go to bed! we both need a lot of sleep). But my mother always viewed that need to be alone with suspicion, like it wasn't natural... when I read Aldous Huxley's Brave New World I could relate to the part where chararcters would express confusion at the idea of actually wanting to be alone (in BNW to be alone was illegal) my mother seemed confused as to why I would want to be alone in my room.

Anyhow... ATM my 4yo is at Kinder and my toddler is asleep and I've found a moments peace! Found a summary of Brave New World... going to post it in the Literary forum if anyone is interested. Hoobley I agree with the reading... it is a "must".... I read to my 4yo quite a lot but not enough to my toddler who won't often sit still... I also need a good amount of time each day to read for myself... it I don't get this time i get quite depressed by the lack of mental stimulation. Thank the powers-that-be for BellyBelly!

[Trillian]

LOL Bath, then we'd have to call you 'Benita Marx'