Reply With QuoteMany hugs to you, sorry you havn't been supported through your pregnancy. You need to do what's best for you, and what's best for you is also best for baby. Don't go back if it's only for bubs, hope you work things out.
Regards,
Dianne
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Toughest decision
I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first little bundle of joy.
The father has been ... Less then excited you may say from the day I told him.
Things have just gotten ridiculous. Making comments when we first found out about how we shouldn't acknowledge it or discuss anything etc.
it's been really upsetting to have this exciting most intense thing that I couldn't be happy or express anything I was scared worried or excited about.
When people would ask him about being a dad his general response was 'yea I guess' 'don't really have a choice' when I confronted him about how it upset me he just laugh it off as a joke.
Anyway I have recently found that he has been sending and receiving highly inappropriate messages and images off another girl. After seeing this I packed up and have left. (I was about 17 weeks).
I have been going back n forth with what I should do, go back or do it alone. Since leaving he has asked me back.
The thing is is that if it wasnt for being pregnant i wouldnt think twice, i wouldnt go back.
I just don't know what to do, or which would be better for my baby.
Any helpful thoughts?
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Many hugs to you, sorry you havn't been supported through your pregnancy. You need to do what's best for you, and what's best for you is also best for baby. Don't go back if it's only for bubs, hope you work things out
Regards,
Dianne
Registered User
Don't go back.
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This says it all
Yes, it isn't always easy doing the single parent thing - but it's healthier for your child to not be in a situation where parents are extremely unhappy, disrespect each other etc
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If you wouldn't go back single, then you sure as hell shouldn't go back with a baby.
Stay gone, and don't look back.
It is hard, hard work, but you will not regret it. Ever.
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Thanks girls alot for taking the time to read this and reply. I highly appreciate it.
I think I already knew what I should do, I just needed some reassurance. If that makes sense
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Sorry this has been a rough time for you when it should be enjoyable oxo I haven't been in his situation so no real advice personally I would not hang around
Have you got some good supports in place to help you? Any family or close friends ?
I hope things can go smoothly and you get to enjoy bubs
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Here's something I always thought I knew but since having DD I now know 100%.
Babies need love. I say it all the time now.
They need love.
Not a two parent family that is perceived as the norm.
Just love really.
If you have enough love for yourself not to go back to someone who has treated you disrespectfully then you will be doing the right thing.
Love doesn't make it easy it's still tough
You know what you should do x
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I do have a beautiful family ...who are really great support which does help alot.
I just struggle when he has the moment where he asks me to go back and the occasionally message asking about bub. I think mmm maybe I should give it a go. Then I'm not sure if its just fear of not being good enough on my own for bubs.
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I have nothing to add, I think all the other ladies have said it all. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you have to go through all that, being pregnant is hard enough without added stressors.
Hugs
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If you wouldn't go back if not for being pregnant, then I think you're respecting yourself and your baby enough and I'd be doing exactly the same thing.
If he's asked you back and is only now asking about how baby is doing..... You think 'hmmmm maybe he deserves that chance?' I think that may well be true. He may have realised what he had now it's not there, but will he go back to treating you like he did before??
He doesn't have to be in a relationship with you to have a relationship with his child. Your baby would probably have a much happier life with two parents who love him/her separately, than miserably together.
If you have strong family support, that's all you need. Make it about you, because that is doing what's best for your baby.
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Thanks ladies. I truly appreciate it!! Although I do still love him and wished things could be the happy family I also assumed I'd have. I think with his general attitude, drinking and persistence to ask me to go see him simply for sex I think I'm done.
Mmm now to find a place and set it up :-/
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Oh gosh I'm a glutten for punishment.
So instead of taking your well meaning and sound advice I chose to 'give it another go'
And as per usual I have wound up feeling worse about myself.
For a short time things were great, he was lovely now he's back to putting me down and saying things like "if I don't answer a certain question or do something there won't be a future ..." Why do I go back? Continually? Boy I'm feeling like a massive screwup. Sorry for venting/ranting just a bit lost.
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You're not a screw up, you just really want to believe the best in this man. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Question is, what now?
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Hugs not a screw up at all. Be gentle on yourself its a big decision to make. At least now you can say you tried.
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its normal to keep wanting to try.... Maybe worthwhile contacting the women's domestic violence service for support.
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You're not a screw up, you are a lady who has been trampled on but you were still willing to give your relationship another go - that takes courage. At least now you know that you have tried to make it work, it isn't going to work & you can focus on your future with your little one. Being a single parent can be bloody hard but living on your own without having to constantly be on your guard against negativity is worth it.
Good luck & I hope everything falls into place for you soon xoxo
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