VENT - Nervous about telling Inlaws of our Pregnancy

[CrazyLady]

hehe! **** she sounds like a piece of work. Well you never know, you might just run to the registry office lol. Hope it all works out. BTW, if it was me, I'd wait to get married if she wasn't happy with her "bastard" grandchildren just to **** her off

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Hmm i haven't read all of the responses but i think she's def in for a big shock.

Just for fun if she starts blaming you then i'd just come out and say well i'm not sure if you remember how babies are made but if your son didn't want to have one then maybe he shouldn't have stuck his X in my Y and we wouldn't now be pregnant with a Z
I'm assuming like a lot of greek mothers her son is her baby, he is precious and could do no wrong and now this horrible woman (non greek with a child) has come along and tainted her perfect boy ... actually what am i saying thats mothers of MOST nationalities...

Personally i would go in there TOGETHER, get them some cute little t-shirts or something with Nonna (or whatever she would be called) made up and act so overly happy and excited that she can't possibly be angry in front of you...
Will it be her first grand child??

[kitten2b]

just think if she is that traditional and bubs is a girl she will expect it to have her name, ie first girl is named after the Dad's mother, first boy after Dad's father, second girl Mum's mum etc (can you tell I was the non greek girl marrying a greek - the baby of the family - boy)

[Visitor7]

blergh is all I've got to say. When DH told his mum we were getting married, she went quiet, then told him she needed to think this through and hung up the phone :/ Yeah, thanks for the congrats. Then when we announced our first pregnancy with DD1, she just sat there, eventually saying 'are you sure you're ready'. Whatever.
As long as you both are happy with your decisions, then go for it

[MissM]

just think if she is that traditional and bubs is a girl she will expect it to have her name, ie first girl is named after the Dad's mother, first boy after Dad's father, second girl Mum's mum etc (can you tell I was the non greek girl marrying a greek - the baby of the family - boy)

Too late my sil already has their names taken mil hates her name anyways!

This will actually be her 4th grandchild.

Fx she doesnt over react too much. Theoor woman is embarrassed enough


Sent from my X10a

[BeautifulMadness]

be thankful of that...you're kid wont have her name lol

i say stuff her..... when i told my mum i was preg with DS1 she took it better then i thought....it was my sis who took it the worse saying i ruining my life blah blah....

i say if she is sooo depeserate for to get married she can pay for it lol

[MissM]

My SIL actually came down a few nights ago, and after a little while of being here she bought up again about us being married before having children (his mother nagging again obviously)

We are not concerned with what she has to say. If she doesnt like it, its her loss. My family will be happy for us though

As long as we are happy thats all that counts!

Will keep you posted with her reaction though

[LionsandBears]

GL. Were you planning on telling her soon or waiting a while?

I know this has nothing to do with her beliefs and emotional reaction, but in Australian law, all children are considered "legitimate" irrespective of their parent's marriage status. I think it changed in the 70's. So there are no bastards anymore.

[MissM]

GL. Were you planning on telling her soon or waiting a while?

I know this has nothing to do with her beliefs and emotional reaction, but in Australian law, all children are considered "legitimate" irrespective of their parent's marriage status. I think it changed in the 70's. So there are no bastards anymore.

Thanks for letting me know! I might just have to remind her we live in AUSTRALIA not Greece AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDD we are not that bloody religious! Even if we were - WHO is she to JUDGE? Ya know..... Double standards, hate them!

[kyrawolfe]

All I have to say Is you have more patience then I. HAHA
I wouldve disowned HER a long time back.. not that it makes much sense, but thats what I wouldve told her for trying to control my life!

Thats just me though, I cant stand preechers, especially the ones who try to make you feel BAD for not agreeing with their veiws "because they are right" Whatever.
lol I know Im not being helpfull, sorry.
I think I just wouldnt tell her. Let her figure it out, then tell her, "well we figured you wouldnt have wanted to be a part of it, so we left you out."
Mahaha
hope everything works out for you! AND CONGRATS!! <3

[Rowellen]

Why not just deliver a double whammy & rush of to the registry office & get married, nice & simple like & then tell her.. "Hey Ma, guess what, we are expecting a baby!" her- "WHAT I TOLD YOU I WANT NO BASTARD GRANDCHILD!!!!"
"That's ok ma, we got married a few weeks back" LOL priceless that would be!

Exactly what I was thinking I bet she'd really crack it then.

If she's anything like my mother (not greek), she'll be so excited over the thought of having a grandbaby that she'll get over it. I can't imagine that anyone could be so prejudiced as to disown their son over something so beautiful as a baby. I know some people are like that but I just can't get my head around it.

Good luck.

[MissM]

Exactly what I was thinking I bet she'd really crack it then.

If she's anything like my mother (not greek), she'll be so excited over the thought of having a grandbaby that she'll get over it. I can't imagine that anyone could be so prejudiced as to disown their son over something so beautiful as a baby. I know some people are like that but I just can't get my head around it.

Good luck.

I cant get my head around it either, I mean, hey, its almost 2011 not 1930!

DP says she will get over it, but ya know, I just dont understand why people care what other people have to say, especially with the things that have happened in the past between all the 'gossipers' she is worried about itms?

kyrawolf - I know what you mean.

On the other hand, she may not even say anything to us she may just talk about it behind our backs either way we will find out about it, and perhaps DP should confront her about it then.

I said to DP last night, she is making me feel guilty in a way and I shouldnt feel like that, my OWN mother doesnt make me feel like that so who the heck is she to? Ya know ...

We will tell her first just to get her out of the way, then focus on people that will actually be excited for us But then again - if she is going to react so badly maybe we shouldnt tell her.....

[Diamond Girl]

Dont let her make you feel guilty. You have a beautiful bubba growing! Whether or not you are married makes no difference. All that matters is that you and your DP are happy. I know you know that, but seriously she has no right to (potentially) spoil your happiness. It sounds like she is more worried about 'her' reputation though, and perhaps her failings at not raising her son to be greek enough.

I hope for your sake she doesnt react badly, and realises the gift that will be born into her family!

Good luck with it.

[~Lashes~]

congrats!!!
if i were your dp, id stand up and do a toast to you and drop it infront of everyone, adding how its only early days, but being so happy and excited cant keep it quiet, as the need to cellibrate is just to great! (make sure everyone can see how happy and excited you both are)
(thats if they do the big family lunch/dinner) then most of the family will be arround, she will have 3 choices, act happy, be quiet, or worse case, be over dramatic and near faint or something simmilar, turning all the attention to her! either way it would make one unforgetable chrissy!!
good luck and all the best for when you do finaly let her know! just remember as long as you guys know whats important thats all that matters.

[LionsandBears]

People can only make you feel guilty if you let them. You have nothing to feel "guilty" about, so don't. I'd see it more of a dread of her emotional issues. It only needs to be addressed calmly and with joy. If she chooses to make a song and dance about it (in a negative way) that's up to her but you don't need to buy into it.

If she has a go, just say. I respect your beliefs. They're not my/our beliefs. We're extremely excited and hope that you can be excited for us.

[MissM]

Thanks - I normally dont let people get to me like this, but I guess its because its DP's mother ... ya know ... But at the end of the day, if she doesnt like our choices then its HER choice not to be part of our lives.

Me being a tad hormonal doesnt help either

[BeautifulMadness]

i say out of respect for D:P's mother u shuld tell her so she cant say well how come u didnt tell me blah blah ya know....and ur adults so whatever her thoughts are, its ur choice

[MissM]

We've decided to tell IL's first, then we can focus on those who will actually be happy for us