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Thread: Wanting to try for #2 in Feb next year..

  1. #1

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    Question Wanting to try for #2 in Feb next year..

    **Not sure if i posted this in the right area MODS feel free to move it**



    I need honest opinions, cons and pros.

    Am i silly for wanting another already?

    I love my DD more than anything in the world but i feel like something is missing to make me feel complete. I know i am young and have a while still to have more kids but i really want them to be close.

    DP doesn't think its a good idea, even though hes been talking about our next one since DD was born.

  2. #2

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    No one can tell you when it is right for YOU to have another baby. That is a decision for you and your DP.

    If you feel it us right, then tell your DP that. Find out why he isn't so keen and work it through.

    It's a big decision... DH and I decided to try as soon as possible, so we now have an 18mth old and a seven week old! It's a lot of hard work - make sure you are ready for it! We wouldn't have had it any other way.

    Good luck with your decision. Don't forget that even if you're mentally and emotionally ready, your body might have different ideas

  3. #3

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    hun if u want to and u think u can handle it then go for it!
    FWIW i was ready to go again the day DD2 was born!

  4. #4

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    I look at how my DD and DS interact and I love the small age gap. They were born 17 mths apart. Number three is on its way and there will be a 20 mth gap between DS and the new kid in town.

    Maybe have a good chat with DF about it and find out his reasons. It could be something minor that you can verbally reassure him of

  5. #5

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    I think if you're feeling something is missing in your life, maybe take some time to examine where you're at now and figure out what it is that's missing - maybe more babies, maybe something else.
    As for age gaps - there's no right or wrong and I think everyone just tends to make the most of whatever they get. You have plenty of time before next Feb to talk this through with your DF in any case.

  6. #6

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    Talking about your next one and actually wanting to take the step to have the next one are two completely different things. DH and I often talked about 'the next one' because when making long term plans you have to talk and think like that if you know you are definitely going to have more than one child. I agree with Marcellus in that you might need to take some time to look at your life and work out what it is, because it may not be another child at all.

  7. #7

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    It's really up to you and your DP. My DS and DD are 18 months and there will be 15 months between DD and this bub. DS and DD totally adore each other. I am really happy I had them close together, I love the small age gap. Having said that it is alot of work. My DH has had to help ALOT with the kids, housework and the night wakings. We want them all close in age hence going for number 3 quickly. I am so tired sometimes I feel like I'm going to drop but I wouldn't change it for the world. When things are really bad I think my friends will still have babies and having to get up at night ect and mine will be older and sleeping through - it always helps a little .

  8. #8

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    hahaha wait until Kailey starts to run around, then you'll think again

    I wanted another straight away too

    But I also wanted to enjoy DS all by himself for as long as we could

    We are expecting number 2 but he'll be 2 1/2 by then..... its totally up to you but trust me its a breeze and you'll want ten until they demand all your attention and chuck crazy tantrums all day

    its totally your call..... They would be 18 months apart wouldnt they if you were successful straight away ???

  9. #9

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    Hun only you will know what is good for you and your family.
    If my circumstances were different i would have deff waited having 2 is extremly hard both physically and emotionally. Of course my situation is different because im a single mum with no help so it could be great for you and your family!

    But i dont think a baby is something to try fill something you are missing in life enjoy kailey while shes still young. I hope this isnt offensive, i apologise if you read this as being offensive

  10. #10

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    You're not crazy at all. I wanted to start trying for number 2 when DS was 8 months but it didn't happen and I'm really glad we have the age gap we do. DS is 2.5 and old enough to want to (and be able to) help me with DD. He fetches diapers and burp rags, sings to DD and rocks her in her bouncy chair, he takes himself to the potty, he feeds himself, and he does not need nearly as much attention and help as he did a year ago. It's obvioulsy different for everyone and you can make any age gap work, I just think it's a lot easier when your first is old enough to help out a bit and not need to be babied so much themself. Plus I got to enjoy time with just him for a little longer. They change so fast and once #2 comes your time is divided.

    The other thing is my 2nd pregnancy was SOOOOO much harder than my first. If DS had been only 18 months I don't know if I would have made it, I would not have had the strength and energy to get through it. DS being able to do a bunch of things for himself made it a lot easier for me.
    Last edited by Twin Sister; August 27th, 2010 at 01:18 AM.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcellus View Post
    I think if you're feeling something is missing in your life, maybe take some time to examine where you're at now and figure out what it is that's missing - maybe more babies, maybe something else.
    As for age gaps - there's no right or wrong and I think everyone just tends to make the most of whatever they get. You have plenty of time before next Feb to talk this through with your DF in any case.
    :yeahthat: wonderfully said Marcellus, i agree give yourself some time as these are still early days and i can still remember with a newborn my feelings seeming a bit confusing and little all over the place, lots to take in at these early stages and yes lots to consider and think about that you never did before you precious DD arrived, it can be the responsibility of being a parent that you are thinking of her future and your's that comes into it all these emotions of what to do or not to do, there is lots of time to talk with your DP until Feb !! ... And if your considering a career in the workforce outside of Motherhood (which is a massive job already) that will need to be taken into consideration unless you are already working/studying (??)

    ... and as far as your being young please take it from old lady me lol put that all aside, your a Mum now whether your in your 20's or 40's do what feels right from here on for you and your little family and forget about the number of age you are

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by marcellus View Post
    I think if you're feeling something is missing in your life, maybe take some time to examine where you're at now and figure out what it is that's missing - maybe more babies, maybe something else.
    As for age gaps - there's no right or wrong and I think everyone just tends to make the most of whatever they get. You have plenty of time before next Feb to talk this through with your DF in any case.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trillian View Post
    Talking about your next one and actually wanting to take the step to have the next one are two completely different things. DH and I often talked about 'the next one' because when making long term plans you have to talk and think like that if you know you are definitely going to have more than one child. I agree with Marcellus in that you might need to take some time to look at your life and work out what it is, because it may not be another child at all.
    I agree with both of these. I guess the only one who can weigh up the pros and cons objectively is you and your DP. Are you wanting to get married in the near future? Having another baby might put that on hold. Do you feel stable enough finacially, emotionally, in your relationship? Do you think you can handle a small child AND a newborn? Will your DP help you out with said small child and newborn? There are so many things to take into account, but at the end of the day the decision is yours and yours alone. I agree with others in that I'd really be trying to evaluate what it is that you think is missig from you life before deciding it's a second child. Good luck and I'm sure whatever decision you make will work out.

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