My DD changed schools just after one term in prep, was a big transtion as I'd left my ex, so we had that to deal with plus new house, new school. But she adjusted really well, better than I expected, I spent alot time stressing and worrying, now near end term 3 you wouldn't even know she started later than everyone else.
But thats just our situation, I know it can be different from person to person. You need weigh up what best to do for you. Whats better or worse, being without your DH/ their dad for so long or having your DS start school later?
I think kids are pretty resilient. At that age, changing schools is not as big a problem. I changed schools twice in primary school. Once mid year after september holidays. The second time was mid-term, about July, quite randomly. One Friday my mum picked me up and said get all your things because you're starting a new school on Monday. I am a very shy person but I found it quite easy to make new friends. Perhaps you could talk to the schools about having them organise a buddy to show your kids around on the first day, introduce to other kids. For me personally, I think I would prefer this to being away from DH, especially with a 3yo. I know my DS wouldn't understand if his daddy suddenly wasn't around even if we tried to explain.
I don't have school aged kids so can't really offer my own experience but just wanted to comment on your "coping" concerns, for both you and the kids. If you tell yourself you can't cope with a situation, you won't. If you tell yourself you will manage, then you will. Might not be easy but you'd be surprised how much people can cope with. That probably comes across really blunt and I don't mean it to, just trying to say that your head creates your world. The other thing to remember is that your kids will look to you as their guide on how to interpret the events in their lives. They will pick up on your attitudes, concerns, worries etc. Even if you don't talk directly to them about that stuff. So whatever you decide, go forward with that course with confidence that it will all he ok. Of course be sensitive to how the kids feel but show them you are coping and believe they can too.
One final thing that occurred to me is the huge developmental changes your DS will undergo between now and early 2014. He may well be a very different child by school (and he may not too). A lot of the variables will be hard to judge until late 2013. I understand your need to have a plan though. I would make a loose one now and be flexible as you get closer to the time when you will know lots more about the whole situation.
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