1. Really listen to what your children think/want and treat them with the level of respect that you would give to any adult.
2. Say yes, more than no. I don't mean give them everything they want, but if they want you to sit and do a jigsaw with them, the ironing can wait! If you don't make yourself available to them and encourage togetherness in activities now, you've got no hope of them wanting to include you in their lives as they get older.
3. Nurture your relationship with your partner. As well as making you both happier, which passes on to your kids, a friend of mine's very wise father once told him that the best gift you can give your children is to cherish their mother. So true (and vice versa of course).
I just wanted to say that your number 2 here really hit a chord with me. I've often wondered in my own life why my Mum and I aren't close like lots of other Mum's and daughters and I think you've hit the nail on the head. We didn't really do much together when I was growing up so I can see why I don't automatically try to 'include' her in my life now like a lot of my friends do. Don't get me wrong, I see her and stuff....just not much and I am happy with that. I do however think that she wishes she was included more now, but I find it hard having not had her include me so to speak....