When the kids outnumber the parents..

[Liz]

yeah, we don't have a freeze rule as such, but Tallon knows he has to stay right next to the car when he gets out, or right next to the pram. And he knows to either hold my hand or hold onto the pram when there are cars moving.

[Bathsheba]

I agree with MrsMac's suggestion of spreading them out.... we have 3 kids but they are 14, 5 and 2. Works fine. I think with any amount of children you basically have to decide to become the kind of person that can "relinquish control" at certain times and know how to regain it at others... and most importanlty to to know WHEN to decide to do either!!! Trying to stay in control at all times will send you crazy... and letting go all the time is obviously negligent and going to lead to trouble as well. So... maybe just know that with 2 or 3 or 14 children you are just going to have to get better at making this crucial decision; Do I try to control or try to let go? If you have mastered this with 2 then i say go for 3.

[Liz]

hmm.. I think I do have a fairly good balance on the control thing. If things are going stir crazy I just step in and separate them, Tallon has to have quiet time playing in his room for a while just to calm everything down a bit. DH on the other hand just throws his hands up in the air and complains about the noise LOL. Other times I let them just be kids and get it out of their system. Let them jump on the bed and leave em to it LOL.

I think it's purely the fear of going through these terrible threes 3 times! LOL. The defiance is unbelievable, and everything is a battle. We get through each day tho, and we're looking forward to the age of 4! There is a sweet boy in there that surfaces every now & then and I can't wait until he's around all the time! hahaha. DH is convinced that it's 17 years worth of defiance that we're in for tho, and well... that could be true LOL. So times that by 3 and he's just not prepared to do it

I'm coping surprisingly well with 2 actually, I'm much much more organised than I was with 1, and our house is almost clean enough these days for people to just drop in! haha. I think I would manage. Sure I have bad days where the kids just drive me nuts and I have a mummy melt-down.. but truth be told, that would be easily remedied by me scheduling in and MAKING people give me a break now & then!!

I guess a question I should ask is what are 7 yr olds like, in general? Because that's how old Tallon would be once the third reached 3yrs old. Perhaps if I can describe the changes in the dynamics of the house to DH a bit more, he'd be willing. I feel like he doesn't mind so much the idea of another, but fears it somehow.. the chaos of it, if that makes sense.

[Rouge]

7 y.o.'s are awesome Best helpers ever... just to give you an idea how Paris helps out around the house:

Folds her own washing and puts it away.
Puts Seth's Washing away.
Sorts clothing into the Clothes Sorter.
Tidies up toy area and gets DS3 to help by making it a "game"
Feeds and Tends to her Guinea Pig
Takes out Recycling
Gets Drinks and Food for her & her brother.
Tidies her room and helps her brother (teaches) him to do his.

They never fight. They get frustrated when either is tired but they don't beat each other up or be nasty to each other. They still play together. ATM they are playing pirates. DS3 is also pretty advanced I think because he's used to playing with his older sister so its a plus plus situation. But honestly I love my kids gap, its awesome. They are best friends, but also great teachers for each other. DS teaches DD patience and strangely how to have a great imagination (DD never was big on imagination), and DD teaches DS how to be nice, how to share, how to tidy up etc etc Keep in mind 7 y.o.'s are very independant too. She can spend hours listening to music, writing in her diary, playing on the computer. So she's never under my feet.

As for how Kayla and the next will interact you'd know more about that than me

[Bathsheba]

Liz: my DH gets frustrated a lot more easily than I do as well. It's something to take into consideration. I feel it's the weakest link in our family dynamic as well. He finds it harder to relinquish control... I bet he's actually quietly content to be back at work in his nice quiet, clean and calm office today after 4 days at home with the kids. Sometimes at the end of a hard day he will come home and be in a good frame of mind to handle the chaos... but other times I see him struggle with the transition. Yesterday he found that our 2yo had emptied his expensive shampoo out into the bath leaving it empty when he had just opened it... DH cracked it... and threw a tantrum himself. So sometimes I feel like I have 4 children which upsets me... but 99% of the time DH will eventually pull himself together and apologise... but it's upsetting at the time.

[Liz]

As for how Kayla and the next will interact you'd know more about that than me

Well, actually, I've no idea LOL. She's been fairly oblivious to Tallon's mean treatment of her.. but she's starting to fight back now LOL. He just hates her coming up and looking at or touching what he's playing with at the time. They can play nicely, so hopefully that will shine through more soon! She's more jealous than he ever was.. he was never jealous of her as a baby, but she feels the need to jump into cuddles I'm having with Tallon, so she mightn't be as easy as Tallon was when she came along.

Liz: my DH gets frustrated a lot more easily than I do as well. It's something to take into consideration. I feel it's the weakest link in our family dynamic as well. He finds it harder to relinquish control... I bet he's actually quietly content to be back at work in his nice quiet, clean and calm office today after 4 days at home with the kids. Sometimes at the end of a hard day he will come home and be in a good frame of mind to handle the chaos... but other times I see him struggle with the transition. Yesterday he found that our 2yo had emptied his expensive shampoo out into the bath leaving it empty when he had just opened it... DH cracked it... and threw a tantrum himself. So sometimes I feel like I have 4 children which upsets me... but 99% of the time DH will eventually pull himself together and apologise... but it's upsetting at the time.

oh I can relate to that entire post Bath *hugs*. Just the other day we had a discussion/fight about him flying into a tantrum/rage so quickly over things. We did come to the conclusion that both of us need to work on seeing things from the kids point of view. Like Kayla emptying out an entire box of tissues all over our room.. to her she found something cool.. and look.. there's more... and more.. and more! LOL. She sooo wouldn't have understood why daddy got so mad about it Imean I wasn't thrilled either lol, but that's something we both need to work on.. accepting that they are kids afterall.. and we just need to teach them as they grow.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Just the other day we had a discussion/fight about him flying into a tantrum/rage so quickly over things. We did come to the conclusion that both of us need to work on seeing things from the kids point of view. Like Kayla emptying out an entire box of tissues all over our room.. to her she found something cool.. and look.. there's more... and more.. and more! LOL..

I think i have learnt to relax a LOT, having so many kidlets... and it has rubbed off on Adam too!!

Had this happened here, we would of laughed, and got him to put them all back in... in this house, a box of tissues over the house barely registers!!

I am a clean freak, and my house work is done first thing in the morning, every day. But after that, its fun time for the day. It will all be cleaned again in the morning!!

If you are the sort to just laugh with your kids, and not stress too much, you will definately enjoy the dynamics a 3rd bubba will bring!!

[Pretty Butterfly]

Yesterday he found that our 2yo had emptied his expensive shampoo out into the bath leaving it empty when he had just opened it... .

had to have a chuckle... Ad knows better than to bother getting upset over things like this, he KNOWS I will turn around and say, "Well where was your shampoo for him to reach it then??"

Although I have time to get used to 6 kids, I do find it fairly easy. The big ones are great with the littlies, and most times will initiate the play. They love playing puppies, kittens, mums and dads, shops, schools etc, and the littlies LOVE playing the "big" games..

Through the day, it is just me, and 3 under 3... which sounds daunting, but it isn't. Harmony does her own thing on her play mat, and with mummy, and the boys have their own games with each other..

I find if I spend a fair amount of time with all 3 in the morning, eg singing, dancing, cars etc they are much happier to go off on thier own later on..

I try to get Kane and Harmony down for a day sleep together, and then its me and Za for awhile.. when the big ones come home, its arvo tea for us all together, often cooking some muffins etc, with the two little boys on the bench, helping..
Then Za will go off and play with his big bro, whom he just LOVES, and Kane gets to do something with mummy then..when Ad gets home, its family play time till dinner...

A loosely structured day works well, and the kids are just used to it..

If another bub is what you want, go for it honey, you can do it!!!

[Bathsheba]

Liz: tissues/shampoo yep, great example of times that you have to relinquish control.... what's done is done. I guess i have had extra practise at learning this lesson... but DH gets very stressed about it... he wants to change though which at least is a good sign. Our differing ideas about when and how to maintain control is about the main thing we argue about too... we rarely argue about money for example. I wish DH would read more parenting type books... i have a shelf full... but no... he's not into doing that Sometimes i feel need as much patience with my Dh as I do with my kids... but then again I'm not perfect... I throw the odd spaz myself... but ironically it's because I feel like I am the only adult around here!!! If I can remember that DH's upbringing is the root cause to a lot of his issues i'm ok... but then again i had a crap upbringing too Ah I dunno... kids teach you so much about yourself... not always things that you like... for that reason alone having more kids is a positive I guess!

[BekZ]

Liz - I will let you know in a few months time how I cope with 3 close together!!! Some days the thought is very daunting but DD1 is at a great age and she really is easier to handle when out and about. I have drummed into her to hold the pram or trolley when we are out and now I don't even ask she just does it.

My main concern atm is that DD2 (16 months) is starting to run off (not as bad as Sara was), get up out of the trolley and crack when I put her in the pram. DD2 is also really clingy and only mummy will do.

I actually held a nb the other day and DD2 was beside herself with jealousy...That is concerning for me. Apart from that once DD1 turned 3 she matured considerably.

I have not doubt that you'll be just fine having another.

Thanks ladies for your replies I found them interesting an informative.