When the kids outnumber the parents..

[Pretty Butterfly]

Just the other day we had a discussion/fight about him flying into a tantrum/rage so quickly over things. We did come to the conclusion that both of us need to work on seeing things from the kids point of view. Like Kayla emptying out an entire box of tissues all over our room.. to her she found something cool.. and look.. there's more... and more.. and more! LOL..

I think i have learnt to relax a LOT, having so many kidlets... and it has rubbed off on Adam too!!

Had this happened here, we would of laughed, and got him to put them all back in... in this house, a box of tissues over the house barely registers!!

I am a clean freak, and my house work is done first thing in the morning, every day. But after that, its fun time for the day. It will all be cleaned again in the morning!!

If you are the sort to just laugh with your kids, and not stress too much, you will definately enjoy the dynamics a 3rd bubba will bring!!

[Bathsheba]

Liz: tissues/shampoo yep, great example of times that you have to relinquish control.... what's done is done. I guess i have had extra practise at learning this lesson... but DH gets very stressed about it... he wants to change though which at least is a good sign. Our differing ideas about when and how to maintain control is about the main thing we argue about too... we rarely argue about money for example. I wish DH would read more parenting type books... i have a shelf full... but no... he's not into doing that Sometimes i feel need as much patience with my Dh as I do with my kids... but then again I'm not perfect... I throw the odd spaz myself... but ironically it's because I feel like I am the only adult around here!!! If I can remember that DH's upbringing is the root cause to a lot of his issues i'm ok... but then again i had a crap upbringing too Ah I dunno... kids teach you so much about yourself... not always things that you like... for that reason alone having more kids is a positive I guess!

[Inertia]

DH getting upsetover kids being kids seems all too common.. My DH used to, and my sisters still does - both pulled out the old tired card "I never did anything like this when I was a kid!!!" --- yeah yeah, lets ask your mother about that one! Its not that they didn't do it, they just don't remember being that young and inquisitive. No one does!

DH has learnt to cope to a degree - he does still go off if something expensive or irreplacable gets damaged or broken. Although he has gotten over the constant breaking of the PS2 draw because I can fix it, haha. But he does make me make them wait longer for me to fix it every time to teach them a lesson about not pulling or hanging off of it. We made Angie wait several months for new Singstar mics as a lesson for leaving them on the floor - sadly, she still does. So now we take them away every time she does.

Teaching a DH to use these actions and behaviours as a learning experience - for ALL OF US - is a long road. It was a real tough ask for my DH because he does have an older daughter (we dont get to see anymore) - but she was born with bilateral retinoblastoma - so she is blind. It took a great deal of effort for him to get used to a sighted child. They can see it, so they want it! It sounds horrible, but its true! He is far more laid back now, especially as a SAHD. He has learnt not to go off, but it teaches us parents that we put it in the wrong spot - obviously, and we can use it to teach the kids the value of wastefulness and spending. We ended up with a whole bottle of dishwashing liquid on the driveway! They wanted to blow bubbles.

They got to make heaps of bubbles all down the driveway in the end as they cleaned it up.

[mbear]

I think i have learnt to relax a LOT, having so many kidlets... and it has rubbed off on Adam too!!

Had this happened here, we would of laughed, and got him to put them all back in... in this house, a box of tissues over the house barely registers!!

I am a clean freak, and my house work is done first thing in the morning, every day. But after that, its fun time for the day. It will all be cleaned again in the morning!!

If you are the sort to just laugh with your kids, and not stress too much, you will definately enjoy the dynamics a 3rd bubba will bring!!

......i totally agree Pretty Butterfly.....i was standing at a school assembly the other week. My two younger ones (3, 1 yrs) at my feet, whilst watching DD#1 march into her classroom. A mother stopped me and said 'oh my god, youve got .....3 plus 1 on the way, you look so calm, so together, so with it'.....i didnt really 'get' what she was talking about. But driving home it dawned on me. Im not a control freak, i dont have set rigid rules, kids run, kids scream, kids have tantys, kids will explore. Just as long as there is no signs of danger around i let them do it.
My SIL is a control freak, her children must sit strapped in a pram and will not be allowed to be unbuckled until they get back to the car....yet when they are unbuckled they are WILD.....i often think its because they are so restrainted in what they do, that when they are allowed a bit of freedom, they take it all then some - KWIM?
What im saying is, yes, we all have rules and routines, but i do think you have to be a bit free -er when you have 3....dinner may not be served right on 530pm, you will never see the bottom of your ironing basket again, your windows will never look clean....but thats worth it....for some.....not for others.....

[Bathsheba]

Good points mbear. I agree... you do have to accept alot more flexibilty into your life the more children you have.... and yes, won't pay to be a clean freak. My laundry mountain, windows (outside dirt and inside smudges) and meal times are the most common areas I find test my patience as well!

[Liz]

when you have 3....dinner may not be served right on 530pm, you will never see the bottom of your ironing basket again, your windows will never look clean....but thats worth it....for some.....not for others.....

i should be right then.. coz we're already like that! PMSL.