Who else has been married to a Narcissist spouse?

[Rooey5]

Google Our Place forum and Out of the Fog forum, they are both helpful. Sending you lots of hugs and strength! See if you can gain access to the family crisis private thread?

[chrisinus]

Thank you so much Santosha and Rooey 5! I'm overseas at this very second but back home again in January. We've been living here for his work and returning to Brisbane, thank goodness, in January.

I'm in the punishment stage at the moment (I don't know if that's a real thing but it's what I call it). He's punishing me emotionally because I dared to ask him not to wake me up really early in the morning when he knows I'm asleep. He's in the Middle East until next week and wants to tell me everything that he's doing although hasn't once asked about anything our end and it's exhausting trying to be as enthusiastic as possible for him when I feel emotionally worn out and I know that he doesn't really care at all about us and we're just trophies to him. I don't know if that's the right way of explaining it again.

He's told me plenty of times that the only reason he stays with me is because he doesn't like being by himself and if I died he would have to go straight out and find someone else as he doesn't like being alone. That, in its only right, is deeply upsetting but when I tried to express this I was treated as if I just didn't understand that he has a need to always have someone around whatever the circumstances. My immediate thought was that, in a loving relationship, you would be devastated if your partner died and can't even imagine what it would be like, certainly not plan to get a replacement. Again, I was told that I was wrong.

I will call the number you gave, Santosha, the moment I get back and have some freedom as it's a priority for me now as I can't take any more of it. I'm having to organise our return, all the moving, etc as hubby has gone to the Middle East temporarily and is refusing to help. It's hard with 3 children to organise a move back to Oz without any help but I'll get there.

I had a look at the forums you suggested, Rooey5. They look really good and I'm going to register on them. My biggest problem today was that it really upset me when I read other people's stories as they are so brave!!! I wish that I could be like many of them! Some of the others I felt for so much as I totally understood where they were coming from. I can't explain it, but I'm not quite up to reading too much at the moment as I get more upset and I don't want my children to see me as they've noticed enough already.

Must stop as he's online and will want to talk in few seconds. Thanks again!

Chris